Jun 30, 2010

An Obsession with youth.

A few days back,I had attended this dinner invitation from an aunt of mine.Now its not just dinner.Women have Kitty parties where they gather and gossip about this and that and discuss children and their day to day struggles to have the latest and do the latest.I normally stay away from parties like these coz they are boring but my aunt invited and we went.While the men play cards,drink cigarettes and scream and shout over games that aren't played well.

This group consists of women over 40 and men over 50 and sons and daughters in their teens and I feel out of place.One of the couples became grandparents a few weeks ago and as I was walking out of the kitchen,I saw him and congratulated him.We never speak with each other coz I always got this vibe that he detests Indians but since Pakistanis and Indians anyways hate each other,his indifference doesnt bother me.

The man practically bit my head off for telling this," Uncle,congrats on you being a new grand dad."

He was like why did I call him uncle,how come he is an uncle now,etc. and even returned,madder than ever,to tell me "A 20 yr old girl could call him uncle but now older married women chiming in,what is that?"I didnt say anything because I was In the presence of 10 women and I brushed it off laughing.

My aunt did call me up to apologise for his rude behaviour and told me That after I left the party,the other women gave his wife a piece of their mind.The funniest thing is Im elder by 2 years to his eldest married daughter.The man is 25 yrs my senior,what do I call him...Bhai saab.

The point of telling this story is ,I do understand the need to keep a lock on the age thing but I thought this was a woman thing.Whats wrong in somebody calling you aunty or uncle.Do you achieve male or female menopause when Some respectfully addresses you.I have kids 12 years younger than me calling me aunty and I never felt bad.Why do we want to turn back time when we see a few white strands in our hair...that way I got old when I was 9,I had 3 strands of white hair back then.One should accept his age gracefully.The saying is to be young at heart..you cannot turn back time when you spot wrinkles or cover aging spots with foundation or prance around like a 15 yr old to portray youthfulness.

I see 45+ women wearing designer jeans and tight clothes,what on earth do they think? That they will look like teens ! Your growing children are not reminders of your time of death coming closer or your aging faster.They are the next generation that you gave birth to,they are what will remain of you after you are gone,they are the symbols of your love and hard work,those days of sweating it out to give your home the best of everything.They grow with a part of you in them and their presence,their future families,their well being stands for a job well done by you.So instead of looking at your growing kids and your aging as nothing but wrinkle producers,accept it..enjoy it....dont yell at people 30 yrs younger than you for respectfully addressing you as Uncle ya aunty.I make this joke about people who are struggling to keep up with teen looks past age 40.."Lagta hai Jawani khatam nai hona chahti."

Jun 25, 2010

10 REASONS NOT TO HAVE KIDS !

< The funniest part is that this article was written by a woman who has kids.Being without a sample presence of myself,I agree to everything she says here and I know many moms do too.>

1) They are Noisy

I am not saying that all of them are, I wasn’t, but the fact is that most of them will be constantly mouthing off about something. They have questions coming out the ass every day, day after day. No single thing is too small to be worthy of comment, no problem too insignificant to whine about, and then there’s the nagging. They nag. You give in once and after that they never let up.

2) Social Responsibility

You are not supposed to leave them alone for extended periods of time according to law, so you have a commitment to always providing people for them to be with, and sometimes to be with them yourself. You have to watch them in stores, keep them in sight wherever you are, and you absolutely cannot be mean to them in public for fear of winding up before a judge. How your child behaves will reflect directly upon you and your character. They say one curse word and people assume that you speak in Two Live Crew lyrics.


3) They Are an Economic Drain

Food, clothes, school-supplies, tuition, school-projects, toys, fast-food, prescriptions, not to mention having to pay for a large enough living space for two adults plus however many of them those two adults choose to have. If you rent, then there is always the potential of them destroying/something that you will have to pay for.


4) You Have to Teach them Things

You may or may not have figured this out: They are born knowing nothing. A blank slate. This means that you have years, possibly decades before they have anything insightful or interesting to say. But still, you will be a bad parent if you don’t listen to them. You are obligated to listen to all kinds of nonsensical irrelevant crap, all kinds of worthless interests and recaps of the Hannah Montana marathon they had on TV last weekend. You are obligated to tell them about life, sex, how to spend money, hygiene, calculus etc.

5) The TV Shows and Books you will have to Endure

A big part of knowing nothing is poor taste. Taste is a product of experience and therefore there will be a considerable length of time before they like things that make sense. You are obligated to read stories to them unless you want them whining about it when they grow up, you are also obligated to surrender at least one of the TVs in your house to the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon for several hours each day.


6) Their Friends

If your kids are normal they will at some point make friends, which means that you will not only have their presence to endure, but an assortment of other people’s failures as well. They will, perhaps, invite them home, at which point you may have to feed these other children, and endure their noise.


7) Constant Illness

Kids, especially when small, are walking petri-dishes. Nothing guarantees repeated stomach-flus, colds, and assorted random illnesses like being in the presence of a small child for hours at a time. Have a co-worker who is always sniffling or running to the bathroom? They either have a cocaine problem or they have a small child.
 
8)They Attract the Ill-Will of Strangers

Nothing in the world will get you more dirty looks than a poorly trained child. For some reason whole segments of the American population either have not yet had children, or will never have children, these people will not be sympathetic to your plight. Children to them are mere annoying strangers being inflicted upon them by you.

9)Once they are Born you are Pretty much Stuck with them

Under normal circumstances anyway. You don’t get to give them back, you don’t get to pass them on to somebody else short of going to prison or dying. If they are ugly or stupid, you will have to endure them for a long time to come.

10) They are Ungrateful

Kids in America grow up with a sense of being entitled to good parenting, as if it were something they earned in a previous life and have now come to collect. No parent, however is good enough, and they usually cannot find it in themselves to see how much worse it could be. They feel entitled to your time, the contents of your wallet and the remote control. And what do they give back? Maybe you will get to see your grandkids every now and then, and maybe, just maybe, they will pick a good nursing home for you when you are too old to take care for yourself.
 
< P.S.: I was a very naughty child.a product of the devil himself who dropped me at their hospital bed...a total handful that to this day my mom tells her friends the same thing.Imagine having another me around.>

21 Reasons not to have kids

{ I was preparing quiz questions for my tution kids and I came across this page.Its funny...have a good laugh!}


- For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

- For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
- For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX. Things I've learned from my children

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh", it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy, and cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

Cooking

Cooking can be such an ordeal at times.How? Every morning you wake up and you start wondering what do I cook today?It might seem stupid to some of you but trust me when you have to cook food the long cut way,you just dont know what to make.


Someone said whats long cut? Thats cooking anything from scratch...no canned stuff or frozen stuff..no what am I saying ! Anything canned or frozen has to be cooked anyway,its just the matter of time anything takes.

You cannot eat dal everyday and veggies everyday..I pity vegetarians but then..the vegetarians are used to eating the veggies and we non veg's..have our own tensions.Cooking healthy is a totally different thing.I dont eat meat very often and that includes chicken..maybe once a week...or sometimes twice.So its basically pulses,grains and what not. Avoiding food that makes you gassy,avoiding food that adds to your never ending calorie intake,etc.

Some fry nuggets or burgers or open tuna tins or eggs or other side dishes to the their daily intake but as Im on the heavy side and thanks to my doctor constantly reminding me that Iam..I have opted out of this easy stuff.Now I have to consider blood sugar,hypertension and obesity when I cook something or eat out.Becomes really difficult!

Then we both are choosy and fussy.My husband wont even eat a dish I've made if it isnt made the way he likes it or not upto the mark.Since Im the kind of person who will eat something they like to the point it starts repelling you and you never touch it for years on end..yeah! Did you just think How fussy,my kid is better?

Now I hate dal,I eat little okra maybe 6 bites at a meal,dont like cauliflower and anything that is mixed with potatoes.I like French fries and that the only way I eat them.I like vegetables lightly boiled with a pinch of salt and pepper.I love bitter gourd and only if they taste bitter after being cooked.

With my husband its just the opposites,he hates veggies boiled,he loves potatoes in any form and with anything.He hates eating cooked carrots,he eats them only raw.He loves cauliflower and okra.He hates noodles in any form and I love them.He hates Chinese,I love it.He hates fish eggs and I love them fried.He will eat eggs everyday and I get nose bleeds if I eat for 2 days straight.I love sweet dishes and my husband doesnt.what I like in sweets,he detests and what he likes,I dont touch.See what I mean? We are complete opposites.

{Wait ! Im just being mesmerised by Randy Orton's stare.gotta watch this WWE match.}

Tomorrow,I have to cook chicken something for a guest we invited over and then probably we all will go out.Have to prepare a to do list for jaanu so he brings all the ingredients,especially the chicken.

Jun 12, 2010

Friday movie criticism..

I watched 2 hindi movies today - "Dil Dosti etc" and "Dev D.".

Dev D : Its about this guy who studies abroad and returns back to Punjab.There is this girl called Paro who adored him all her life and had fallen for him and was hoping to tie the knot and being a jerk he is,he is led to believe otherwise about Paro.They have a disagreement and Paro marries someone else and after that Dev realises that he actually loved her truly.Then comes entry of Chandramukhi,who actually is part french and indian.Even though she has a loving home,she hangs around with the wrong guy and things fall apart here as well and her dad kills himself.By then Chandramuki's mom has left her and she becomes a prostitute herself.Anyways,many drug episodes,brothel episodes later,they both meet.
Dil dosti etc : This is about 3 friends.One being a tail to one and another rich kid who has folks ignorant about his existence.One of them wants to find the meaning of what love is and therefore,he visits a brothel and a school girl.HE is actually a slut,looking around for so called love in anyone's bed.The other 2 are power driven and are involved in college elections.

Anyways,the movies werent that bad but if its portraying reality in any way,Im sad for the generations to come.Its just not the kids ,even the parents are losing their touch.I know parents now let go of their children rather than deal with them.And vice versa.Its easier this way and we are not that a crazy fan of close families anymore.Everyone wants to live their way and not be in touch with anyone.Ask anyone why havent you kept in touch,"There's no time rey !..Im so darn busy with work and home,I cannot find the time to call and do anything."

People today can procure drugs,booze and any filthy form of entertainment at a snap.Looking at those movies made me wonder why do children stray so easily,why isnt anyone at peace.Sleeping around has become so casual a thing.Concept of virginity is a joke to 15 yr olds.

What is lacking? Attention, Love, stable family life, money, rules, discipline, etc...which is it? How does one strike a balance as to not choke the life out of one's life but still give a sense of freedom to enjoy the various facets of it.

As one will notice,Im disturbed easily by such movies.I do love them..they tend to raise a question in your mind and in return actually make you focus on yourself and the lives surrounding you.I wouldnt want to be one of those people who stay secluded in the homes.I like to be aware of everything and it gives me a chance to understand people.Each one of us has been brought up a different way,had totally good and messed up experiences to learn from and live with,so circumstances for many of us always differ in various challenges that life proposes every now and then.Only then you can focus as to how your kids should be brought up and how to keep relationships of any kind from falling apart.Living in a bubble cannot be a good idea !

Oh yeah,I watched " Whats your Rashee?"..The movie would have been great if all 12 women were different people.It would have spiced up and made it more enjoyable.But except for things here and there,the movie wasnt that good especially the end...absolutely horrible.the Producers had cash to spend and Priyanka Chopra to deck up.She was ok but still..not that good.

Jun 9, 2010

Mother T

I was watching this hindi movie the other day,name of which I dont recall at the moment.In the movie,one of the characters who is a good doer is called Mother T by her friends."Mother T" as In "Mother Teresa".Just now I went through my friend's blog again,then I remembered and was inspired to blog about it.

I completed my graduation In an all women's college.I think it was in my second year,when our principal made an announcement over the intercom that Mother Teresa would make an apperance in our college.At first thought I was like why would she want to come here...but then it created such a stir all over the campus.I couldnt believe my ears.I was so determined to catch a glimpse of her.Though I had heard stories about her and her work and to think I would have an encounter or even stand in the shadow of her presence was completely mindboggling for me.

College hours were up if Im not mistaken...But as the entire campus started packing up ,I started getting tense.Squashing yourself,squeezing yourself,hopping like bunny hoping to catch a glimpse,pushing and shoving everyone around you......It was a strenuous exercise alright but ultimately.....

A car pulled over and then it was like all hell broke loose.I saw the top of her sari that she covered her head with... and I started jumping around with all my might and strength...shouting ay aye...hey...finally I got to the frontlines.

I was a little surprised when I saw her face.the first thing that came into my mind was...,"Hey ! She looks like my grandma."She was an old woman,a little bent,covered with wrinkles all over.You could immediately see that that face had seen so much pain,gained so much wisdom...they were wrinkles of hard work,selflessness and love.

She did  have an aura around her.You could see that she wasnt just anyone ...but you knew you were in the presence of a strong woman,in the presence of blossoming love and peace.She was like the white dove I think.I was honoured to see her face and then it happened.Out of nowhere,she laid her hand on my head and blessed me.

A certain calmness and peace came over me.Its like when you are deeply troubled,someone you love so much,comes along and hugs you and you feel "all is well".I wanted to cry...but when there are girls with blood androgens  running high...its becomes quite painful to stand at a spot and shed a decent tear.

It was a privilege and honour to be in her presence.And I count myself very lucky and blessed.May your soul rest In peace Mother Teresa and Shower us with your blessings.

I think she is the only worthy celebrity status woman I have ever come around.Oh yeah...I did meet Dharmendra,in the 80's, at Mumbai International Airport.

But I have come across a handful of people who made both a positive and a negative impact on my life.I owe them both.The positive ones brought me self esteem,peace of mind and a love for myself.The negative ones taught me to be the bitch,to be strong,to not be blindly trustworthy of everyone,gave me a heartache and destroyed parts of me that may never recover.But Faith in God and lessons from those positive people have made me stronger yet forgiving,a smart ass and a mushy bear.Maintaining the right balance is what I've learnt.

Jun 7, 2010

Modernisation !

With all the technology available at our fingertips,one has to wonder whether life has become more easy or not.I remember a time at my Nani's place when there wasnt a TV.

My parents had just returned back to Kuwait and found themselves a job after a war,so it would be a couple of years before a TV was bought at my nana's place.So what did I do the whole day? I woke up quite early in the morning,had tea and walked to the beach where I spent hours amazed at mother nature.I was a student back then ,so the only form of work I did was wash my share of clothes,sweep the entire house and wipe and sometimes fill water from the wells or government taps into the huge vessel in the bathroom.Sometimes,my nana or aunt would stir in some cow dung into the water and throw it into the compound and make a proper ground for playing.The surprising thing is when I got over the fact that I actually play over melted animal crap,I was surprised to see that my feet never got dirty and I never had to play with shoes on.It didnt smell funny at all.I helped in performing this task sometimes.

But then one day my folks bought a Tv for us at our nana's place.they didnt want us to be bored whatever time we spent there and from then onwards it was watching stuff whenvever we got the time and bringing movies every weekend.And In villages out there,you dont watch the telly in the privacy of your home.It becomes a neighbourhood thing,everyone from a km radius is at your doorstep watching the TV with you.Sometimes it was fun but then it was downright annoying when you couldnt change the channels to watch anything you want.

Its not that I hate the TV,Im at a state where without a TV I would go nuts.Since I dont have kids,I depend even more on the telly to overcome loneliness and boredom.That still would be a poor excuse because many moms I know leave their kids in front of the telly ,so that they can work in peace around their house without being bothered by tiny terrors.

We have allowed the telly to be such a important part of our life actually.In the name of saas - bahu ka serials and many other things,we have become couch potatoes.TV can be informative and it is.No argument about that but its the amount of time one devotes to to it which is the debating factor.

The weather in Kuwait is absolutely dreadful,very hot to go out.One can suffer a sunstroke in minutes.When Im too hot,I cannot think straight coz I sweat a lot on the head.It takes literally 5 minutes for my hair to soak in sweat when Im out during this season.I dont wear any makeup as well coz it just leaks.So people confine themselves to their homes throuhgout the 8 months of summer season and watch nothing else but TV.Those who can afford go on vacation to greener pastures but hey! no one can stay for 8 months on vacation.

Fully automatic washing machines,automatic kettles,grinders,choppers,people buying readymade food stuffs all the time coz they dont have time to cook at all and what not.People have become so luxury dependent and we think its a sign of prosperity,its a sign of doing well.That we can afford all this means we are doing very well.In return what has this luxury given us,fat filled waistlines,tires upon tires,big bums,sloppy appetite and lifestyle,lazy children,etc.The list is endless not forgetting all the diffrent health problems like diabetes and blood pressure and high cholesterol and triglycerides.

It wouldnt wise of me to say that wish life was much simpler like 30 or 50 years ago becasue from now oinwards it wont be simpler,may get absurding complex but not simpler.We have accustomed ourselves to this complex choice of life but I just hope that we dont forget the simplicity of things.Not let machines be masters to each and everything.Its like when you slave over cooking the perfect meal and in the end,nothing seems to be pointless(unless it tastes like crap) and you attain your minor victory over the sight of smiling people eating away to glory.Thats the simplicity of it all,I mean no amount of readymade gourmet meal can give you that satisfaction.

Now we complain of having no time at all and putting an unfrozen meal in front of family is a big thing.

"Yeah! Right..."Thats what I heard a busy working mom of 2nhalf just say.Thats a diffrent territory to charter and debate about .But for now....lets try to relax our eyes and mind and take a chill-pill.

Jun 6, 2010

Sasural..

Home politics is such a horrible thing.I used to think that in perfect families,people will go to any lengths for one another and help each other out.Alas! There is nothing like perfection when it comes to families.To please each and everyone,to listen to each and everyone and maintain your peace is very difficult.I know we live in an age when nuclear family seems much more optional and it is.But what does one do when you have dependent parents,you dont remain a nuclear family.Especially when those dependent parents try running everything their way and look at things from only their point of view.This leaves no room for relations to bloom and anything to be cherished.

I know from personal experience even though my inlaws are not too much a problem for me.Its like those 3 monkey statues,when there's unpleasantness around-close your eyes,ears and mouth and all will be well in the end.

My jaan has a firm head over his shoulders.His temper is something one wouldnt want to face.When he is pissed off,its like dancing like a clown in front of a wounded lion.But still ,even during critical moments of pissiness,he still manages to think straight and think.My anger is like a firecracker.I will burst into shreds and when the smoke is gone,Im fine.I dont think straight,my mind strays in every possible direction and I need a minute or 2 to calm down.

I hear stories from my friends about their inlaws and they all dread to even stand in their presence,its like a constant judgment is being made even though they have been married for 20 years.Isnt it so weird ! Its a universal thing.If its the DIL ,then its is she caring for my son enough,is she caring for our grandkids enough,if shes finally become the best cook,if shes not draining my son's pockets and sucking him dry with her fuzool kharcha.If its the SIL,then its does he still loves my daughter,is he having an affiar elsewhere,is he gawking at other women,is he feeding my daughter and her children well,is he providing her care and love and so on and so forth.

I was complaining why are old people,old fashioned people so narrow minded and judgemental about everything? why isnt anyone good enough? Then I thought,when folks have been dominant all their lives and have been involved in each and every decisions of their children's life,When they grow old and instead depend on each and everything on their children,they seem to lose their control and therefore become the kir-kirree kind.So one should embrace all negativity and be optimistic.If your own folks would scream and shout at you,you would oversee it all coz you know that somewhere in between the screaming contest and "Im greater and you're smaller" argument,there is love.Forget the bashan - In the end treat them the way you would treat your own.

Pleasing everyone is very difficult.One may think,if its all so cumbersome,why bother,but now...one cannot ignore certain situations at all.Sometimes,facing a new band baaja...can be a new fun experience..depends on how you take it and face it !

Jun 3, 2010

Thursday nights.

I chopped off my nails,as usual,they went brittle and one of them borke of,so they all had to go under the guillotine.As a kid upto the age of 22,I was a nailchewer.I know its a disgusting habit but I think it was all stress and boredom.Then one fine day ,I went cold turkey and within a few months I had human nails.That was an accomplishment for me.To kick off a habit of 19 years.

Iam off duty from tutions for one whole month and I sort of feel useless.I miss screaming at the top of my lungs and really using my brain trying to learn techniques to teach them the easier way.

Tomorrow is a friday,a weekend and I have no idea how its going to be.The temperature have risen to 48c already during the day and since our A/C isn't in mint condition,it tends to be very hot if you are moving around.

None of the soaps seem interesting anymore coz they all have taken a bad turn to the worst.If you cannot go out and do anything at home,what do you do to entertain yourself! I wanted to cook something but then Jaan settled for dal and chawal,leftovers of the afternoon.

I want to eat from some hotel,Im real hungry now.Couldnt eat the cookies cooz they tasted too sweet for my palate.Thats why Im too hungry.

Looking forward to watching "Shrek 4" and " Twilight 3".Oooooh Im an ardent fan of vampire movies and anything related to them.My favourite being "Blade 2".Oh-beer-shi...meaning vampires.

In walks my hubby and I shall take leave now.

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