Dec 26, 2010

2011 resolution - 1

Christmas this year again was another flop event.Neither I was invited nor my family came to my place to meet with me.

They used to moments to look forward to some time ago but now gradually its becoming that festival which isnt my own anymore coz when you dont celebrate it,its just another holiday.

New year is on the horizon and Im thinking about resolutions.These are things which i will laugh 6 months down the lane over coz they will seem impossible to accomplish and therefore,ridiculous to think about.But a few have to be kept coz my life (health) will depend on it.

First being - SALT.I vow to use less salt in my food.No matter how bad it tastes,I will have to do it.

Second being _ STRESS.I vow to learn how to keep my stress under control which will in turn help me mind and body wise.I fret a lot over my family issues.That is the family thats there and gives me a headache and a family that hasnt been there at all and gives me all the more headache.

Third being - WEIGHT.I vow to control my sweet teeth set and eating habits.I will keep a little of tummy less filled.Lets see,the Japs(Japani) are always right.Even in Islam its said,leaving your tummy a little less hungry is good for health and long life.

Fourth is - GIVING THANKS.I vow to be grateful for the blessings in my life,for the people in my life and for the things in my life.I will try to thank all those who help me in every possible way,knowingly or unknowingly.I will pray without fail every night.

I vow not to treat someone indiferently eventhough they do the same to me.I dont care what people think but I do care what God has to say about this.Since I believe what goes around ,comes around.I do good and at some point it will come back to me.

Just as I was beginning to wonder if we both ( my husband and I) were having the 7 year itch or rather 8 year itch,we both went through this illness thingy and came out of it with flying colors,realising that we indeed were meant for each other and finally have a whole new respect for one another.Unlike my mom who thinks that Iam under a spell of black magic done by my husband,I really think God blessed me with the perfect man.I wouldnt have been happier elsewhere with anyone else.I guess standing up for my  thoughts paid off well.

There's an interesting movie on the telly and I guess I will stop for now and keep updating later on.

Dec 23, 2010

Dec 2010 - 1

Another year has come to an end and at this point I dont know how I feel to put behind 33 years of my life.

I went for some bird shopping and plant shopping today.The beautiful singing birds are so damn expensive and then couldnt go for plant hunting.I was so tired in the end but I walked for almost an hour today.Which is a big deal since I came out of the hospital.

I saw amazing birds and cute rabbits dressed in dresses and tiny outfits.I saw persian cats and cute shaggy dogs.I saw african parrots ,one of which made sounds like a monkey,whistled,made laughing noises and it seemed as if it was trying to impress us.If i only had the money to afford it.It cost upto 50 grand.

Another Christmas is going to pass by and I again will not have a chance to celebrate it.I was looking forward to having one but it became a flop show idea.Looking forward to going to the beach to have a one on one time with the sun.It gets dark by 4pm and it seems like night fall by 6 and miss the sunsets.

Dec 15, 2010

AN NIGHTMARE AND A BLESSING !

It all started with a stomach ache and gas trouble.I tried every remedy known to me but then something else was wrong too.I had trouble collecting my breath and then one evening all hell went loose and I satrted having chest pains.We went for a routine check up at the hospital and after about 40 minutes,when my turn had finally come,my Blood pressure(BP) was a 200/130.They immediately took me to the emergency room ,had an ECG done,gave me meds to lower my blood pressure which refused to go down inspite of all meds and finally I was admitted in the hospital.

The next 5 days were a nightmare for me coz the 2 times I went into severe chest pain,I thought that this was it and I was going to die.I recited my last prayers both these times and worried that I wouldnt be able to tell my husband the few words I wanted to.The meds I had taken,some family tensions and the sadness at times were overwhelming I guess and they all just came into action with this.

But it was later on I realised a few life lessons.I wasnt invincible,I had to die the time God intended it to happen and How precious taking care of our body and mind was.I realised again for the hundreth time,that I had made no mistake in marrying my husband even though my family hasnt approved of him in 9 years.I also learnt that in calming my mind,I brought peace to my heart literally and emotionally.

My heart broke into a gazillion pieces when i saw my husband turn white with horror when I had my second and third pains.

But then when my BP wasnt going down no matter what,my doctors and nurses realised that I was too attached to my home(husband) and no way was I going to get well in the hospital.They discharged me 2 days ago even though I had 169/108.Now in just 2 days my BP has lowered down to 150/100.And today it was a bit lower than this but maybe it was my medications working well along with the happiness and joy of coming back home.Hopefully ,I will return back to normal soon.I have many doctor trips ensured for a long time and lots of tests and saltless recipes to endure.But its okay.Im just glad to be home.

When I revisited my doctor,he was glad to see some color on my face and relieved he hadnt made a mistake in sending me home with high BP.

SO this has been one of the many life lessons for me.And hopefully I will never forget these lessons.In a way,If I hadnt had trouble breathing,I wouldnt have gone to the hospital and wouldnt have known how dangerously close I was to hurting myself or may have some life threatening problems.God does all things for a reason and Im thankful for this experience.Truly from my heart.It maybe difficult to see optimism at times like these but once you have got to that place of peace,it isnt that difficult.

My reason for blogging this is not to earn sympathy but Im trying in a way to convey,that everything happens for a reason and one shouldnt lose faith or hope.Live life well and respect it while you have it.

Im much better now.My husband hasnt allowed me to be active in any form,so Im lazing around.I have been advised bed rest for a month or at least till my BP returns to normal.But I feel Im getting better already.The food is a little difficult.To quit salt cold turkey is very difficult.But I guess i will do anything just to see that smile on my husband's face.My friends have been a constant support.Not sure if I can handle all this pampering.I scared the crap out of my 9 month pregnant sister.Everytime I switch the fan on or sigh,people immediately look at me.I have eaten a whole lot of oranges and fruits and right now I have to pee all the salt and toxins out of my body as a much as a I can.Im learning to care for that ONe organ that does so many things from Love to life.Wish me luck.

People ask me what were your symptoms.I think its good to give out some information.When my BP shot off,I had pain my arms,shoulders and teeth.I had severe headaches and of course pain in my chest.I didnt sweat that much this time and I turned bright red in color.Even my ears turned red and my body got heated up.When you find it difficult to breathe,sleep on your left hand side.And take deep breaths.I usually have severe panic attacks when im worried and in pain.During panic attacks,your breathing gets shallow and only your pulse shoots up.I think.Look up.Even epigastric pains can be painful.

Anyways,Im done for now,I feel tired.

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