Sep 21, 2011

Racing through life !

As you grow into this world,we learn that ambition is very important.Striving to do more and expect more of life,an important characteristic of a person who will fare well in life.I was talking to someone and this topic just hit me.

That is the one thing I never was.My folks thought it was weird for me for not going paranoid searching for jobs and not crying over it.They thought,and many others did,that I had it easy coz my parents were supporting me while I was being jobless.What am I suppose to do if I hadnt got the job or didnt nail the interview? I was not the kind who cried and boohooed over stuff like this.As long as I dont have to resort to sleeping on the sidewalks or begging,I thought it was okay.I need not be crying.But people thought this was odd.WHy wasnt I going nuts,or being frustated or being depressed? I was young,marriage was not in the books and I just wanted to walk through it,calm and quiet and hoping it would eventually come to me.

I never give a second thought to money.If life becomes difficult,I will adjust,I can always do something about it.Ask any person in this world,money has not brought emotional happiness to anyone.One who has little,is working their butt of for more.One who has a lot,is still working to make more.Noone is happy in this world.It is human nature not to be happy with what we have.We always wish for a little more.Nothing isnt enough.We arent grateful or thankful for anything.Money makes life easy,money isnt life though.Im what my heart is,Im not what my clothes,cars and bank balance says.

I remember waking up at 6 in the morning,getting dressed,taking my qualifications in a folder and getting into a local bus and then on ,to the destined address for an interview.Sometimes i would change 2 buses,sometimes 3,walk in this heat,to a entirely new place,scared to the brink,where I would wait to be called upon for the interview.I had my share of struggle but didnt go beserk or found it heart breaking.Sometimes it was positive,but mostly,it was 'We will let you know in a couple of days'.

A year before this,I had gone through the worst unimaginable nightmare of anyone's life.I had nobody to count on except a couple of friends who stood by me throughout that long devastation.The lesson I learnt out of it all, was when things went bad,you can count only on yourself and you alone.And nothing is worth more in life than having peace of mind.Money is the last thing.So as long as I didnt have to move into the streets,I wouldnt go crying over something like failing a job interview or not finding "the job".

So many people,they go into depression and cry their eyes out.They feel useless and ruin not only their own minds but of everyone around.I remember going to church and standing in front of the grotto and asking God to give me a job,so my parents would get off my back and I could find peace of mind somewhere in all this mess.Everyone wants that great paying job,they struggle day in and out and work their asses off.And years go by and life comes to an end.I know one does have to work for their families, for a better lifestyle and prove themselves worthy in the eyes of everyone around them.I get that,I really do
Money,money,ruthba,bangla ,gaadi.......No sukoon,no life ! Simple as that.

When we got married,I was worried how will we make ends meet,how will we support my inlaws and their lifestyle and then our own homes.How ,how ,how??? To such an extent,that I couldnt sleep well at night and wondering about this future.In this mad race for saving for the future,My present was rushing away like those rapids of water.

What are we working for? To own a house,to send our children to wonderful schools,to wear branded clothes,to have cars,to eat great food at great restaurants,save something for when we are old and cant work anymore.Right ! Meanwhile,we have no time to take our kids out,we dont find time for each other,we have no time to have friends around,we are burned out all the time.Even when taking a vacation,we are counting the money,the days and for each and everything.We are still not at peace.

Im not saying why work like this...Im saying why not appreciate life as we make it along the way.Be happy with what is there in the present instead of burning out for the future.I have friends who own companies and they have struggle to spend a single day out to spend with their families.They usually talking over the phone with their clients even then,discussing jobs and cant wait to go home and catch up on some sleep ,so they can slog through their coming entire week.While I have some friends,who manage their home and business very well.The philosophy being,this time,this "now" will go by just once and never come back.They have realised that nothing was worth missing out on than seeing your family blossom in love.

I remember telling a friend,they are 5 now and will be just this once.Take all the love you can from them,coz once they grow out,you cannot run around asking for hugs and kisses.You will miss out on the very thing you work for and live for.

Havent you heard an elderly in your house say,"I have no idea how my life went? I worked and slogged all my life and cannot pin point a single joyous moment.Ahh! The time I had my babies ." Or they will pinpoint that moment when my children did this or that,when something bad happened or when someone died or when someone did this something special for me and of course the childhood.Their advice will always be,beta,dont go through life like a bullet train.Live your life,look at me..I dont know how it passed by! People never forget their childood.Why? Because they lived it with love and fun in their heart.They didnt compete for anything but just lived.

Im told by my brother,Im not very serious with life.Im living the life that I and trillion others wish for.So what if Im at the beach,if I want to slow dance and make my friends do the same with me and have a good laugh over it.So what if my niece says,I want to twirl like a princess in the middle of this happening mall,I tell her go ahead and do so.No one can stop you.So what if I want to sit on a merry go around and clap as Im riding my horse.I dont care if I look silly,I want to live in this" now" coz this wont come again tomorrow.I keep in touch with my friends regularly and we generally offer an outlet to each other's crazy pressure cooker life.Im depressed and I call my friends and brighten my day.Each of us are completely different by nature but we all understand,that good friends see beyond matching wavelengths and money or anything else.I dont want to fret myself silly over things,but I want to make this ride of life,easy on the legs and heart and mind.When Im bored,I cook,I call up my friends,speak to their kids.When im sad,I pray and know in my heart,God will guide me through it.f I do my hard work,I know the answer to it is just round the corner.

Live just once...live it well.

3 comments:

  1. one day at a time - sahi kaha Suz.

    this post is very nicely written.

    but there are very few like you who dont obsess over job. i was one of those you described here - getting depressed between 2 jobs or when the interview didnt go well. nine years of "working my ass off" & now finally being at home, taking the backseat, feels like a blessing.

    its true, our kids are 5 just once. now she comes & gives a pappi & if i say stop she will give some more. later even if i run behind her she may not.

    now there's less money in my house, just one salary. but i have become lot calmer because i am managing only one thing-house. m enjoying the food, the sleep. i was a monster when i was working - all the time tired,stressed, irritable.

    i miss the money though. it does give you lots of things. our trips/holidays have all come down, eating out has come down, shopping just like that has come down.....i miss it sometimes :(

    but these past 2 years has done me a lot of good. i am definitely deeply thankful for that

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  2. hmmmmm.....Suzy, another good one from you. and Sujatha...the after effects of one salary is something I am scared about and makes me think hundred times. It's my husband who pushes me to work. Trust me i have burned myself out, but thank god for this current organization, I'm a little relaxed. But the endless travel, the pressure, the mad rush, the cooking...it just drives me nuts. i yell...I scream, I rave and rant..donno if securing your future is worth it or not...but then ..Lifeu ishtene!!:-D

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  3. true Padma lifu ishtene. more than the actual work in the office, its usually the travel & the endless chores waiting for you at home once you are back is what gets to you.

    like Suz said, we should not always rush or race. hmmm but not always possible. its very difficult to do even though we know that's what we actually need/want

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