Oct 8, 2011

A good woman

Once you have crossed 15,this is one of the major things that wander around both the girls and boys mind.Yaar! what is your dream guy or girl like?


Boys will begin with - She should have this sexy figure man,faithful and should be very hot.She should be cool.(within their head : a girl with big tits,gorgeous face and make every man pant and me feel Superior.)

Girls will say - He should tall,handsome,funny,faithful,have money,have car, and just supercool.( which actually means : A dog on a leash,loads of money to make my fantasy come true,take me clubbing and make every other girl on the block die with envy.)

This theory doesnt change for quite a while till you are serious about getting married.Im not talking about parents doing everything,Im talking about girls /boys who think it is time to settle down and then all those old theories go out the window.My hubby tells me,that when men are on the lookout for fun,they go for chick who are hip and out there,but when they want to settle down they wouldnt give a chick they loved dating even a second thought.Then they want a sati-savithri for a wife.

Men will want someone: who can cook,is independent mindwise(not clingy),clean,is good with people,is respectful of him,his life,his work,his folks,his family,someone who is understanding,forgiving,all in all,A woman that people will love and admire.

Women want someone : who earns well, who will be faithful,who will hover around her,who will listen to her,who loves her forever and who is supportive of her in every aspect.

In India ,eight noble virtues an ideal wife should have are summed up in the verse from Neethisaram.

"Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha,

Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Satkarma Nari, Kuladharma Pathni".

We ,who have been married for a while,know that everything changes after marriage.Once that "romance phase " is over,looks will mean nothing,dressing up will mean nothing,all you have left is the core personality to begin living with.Tempers will fly around,compromises seem even more difficult to do,You begin to question your existing life and these are all precursors,showing you reality has kicked in.

Every woman has to give up on a lot of herself in keeping her family sane.One cannot say,"Im the first woman to go through this."It took me years to be that woman who my husband appreciates,admires,depends on and most of all is happy with.Some "so called friends" did say to keep a firm hold over your husband,take the reins in your hand before you become the doormat.Very soon,I understood,being the hrash rider in the relationship would become the cause of the demise of an eternal friendship.I couldnt lose respect in his eyes,I wouldnt be able to live with myself.

Letting go of my pride and respecting and giving value to all that he likes has made this bond stronger and worthwhile.Its not a competition,The sooner you learn that,the happier one will always be.If I did things for him whole heartedly,he too would do the same,maybe more,for me.

I see many so many couples who want to prove they are better than their partner,in terms of salaries and everything else.They want to make a place for themselves in their own homes.Make place in each other's heart and mind.No matter how modern a man is : he wants to have a family,wants you to raise it in the best way possible,make a warm home which he is happy to come to and be a part of 24/7.He may not change diapers or clean,he wont help you out in general,he wont be lovey dovey all the time,So its all upto you.A woman's patience and heart is beyond bounds.Thats why she will land up doing a little more than her husband for her family,for her home.

What are the most important traits in a good wife?

What traits do men value most in a good wife?



Comments :


Ms. GTO


Most guys want a lady in the streets, Betty friggin’ Crocker in the kitchen, and a freak in bed.


Marshal Jed Cooper


1. Forgiveness. she has an uncanny ability to forgive (not forget) but forgive.


2. Patience I swear when it comes to dealing with me she is the most patient woman in the world.


3. Ability to look at her self – there are times that she is just being unreasonable, PMS whatever, I say to her honey you are being ridiculous and sometimes (if she is) she will just stop and say you know what you are right. End of fight/discussion. I love that.


sheloves_dablues


This will vary from person to person. Some men want thier wives to look good. Some want thier wives to be submissive.


Instead of focusing on what they might want, focus on what YOU are willing to offer. Don’t change to suit someone else – find the person that enhances who YOU are.


Sethasaurus Rex


Don’t expect any mature answers on here. My wife is worth more to me than cooking cleaning and sex.


Someone who marries for those reasons isn’t going to have a happy marriage, someone will suffer and it won’t work.


*. Bre Babe .*


I’m not a man but most men want another mommy.


phoster


the basic connection has to be there of course, and from there i find it just flows. when you connect you can talk and share with one another, and that leads to intimacy and affection, which leads to actions like sex and doing things for one another. it all kind of feeds into itself. i guess if i had to pick one thing to look for it would be the connection. you shouldnt have to force it. you should be able to spend hours together and never run out of things to say and do. that is the foundation to everything else.


mt75689


Quiet strength, wisdom, patience, loyalty, and a heart full of love.


bearsbullsfan


my ideal woman is empathetic, affectionate, caring, independent, funny, and organized.


James C


When I married I:


1. Made sure she was a Christian. Because if 2 people are unequally yoked there will be a lot of problems in your marriage.


2. A respectful wife. I want my wife now to respect me and love me for who I am. (Which she does)


3. Honest. My wife’s honesty is one of her best qualities…even when I don’t want to hear it.


Chelsey the Deer Hunter =)


my husband says ” she has to leave me alone!” lol he is so mean!!!


He is kidding, anyway my opinion is a good mother, friend, cook, understanding, housekeeper, hard worker, smart, healthy funny woman. that is just what i think, im old fashioned so i believe the woman should take care of the household duties while the husband makes the money. Just my opinion.


Shannon


Traits are heavily ingrained and might actually be impossible to change. With that in mind, it’s cruel to imagine her as better if her traits were different.


As traits go, I was looking for someone that is smart, care-free & fun-loving, a little witty, young-at-heart, and cute. My wife is all that and more.


2012soc


Great personality, looks, gives you lots of encouragement and quality time, sense of homor, romantic, and loves sex.


cyclonis69


Lol… Why is anyone concerned with someone being a “good wife”? How about being a “good person” and becoming the status of wife. That’s more important I think…


To any male, a “good wife” is obedient, loyal, and hard-working. That’s the typical sexist opinion…lol… Most people want that from everyone, don’t they?


So for someone to be labeled as a “good wife” they have to give up all of their inclinations of their own life, and become everything that this person wants them to be? Sounds more like slavery to me…


I think that if you are a good person, you will find someone who automatically thinks you’re a “good-wife”, regardless of what everyone else thinks…


A good wife is a “good wife”, because the person they’re married to absolutely loves everything about them! There is no specific list of characteristics. It’s all relative to each person. Literally… Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!


bigsurf81


Not to sound like a jerk, but she has to be into physical stuff. Sex is a huge part of marriage (probably the biggest aspect to a guy actually) and if you start pulling the “I’m tired”, or “I have a headache” deal, kiss your marriage goodbye. It’s not that we need it 5 times a day, it’s just something we’re programmed to do. I love my wife to death, but nothing sucks worse than having date night end with a cold shower.


You don’t have to look like a super-model, you don’t have to be a porn star, and you don’t have to fret over that extra bit of weight you put on. We love every ounce, but you have to show that you’re into him and keep him interested in you as well. Without that, you run into the problem of him cheating because he’s not getting taken care of at home. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable for you both. Just relax and have fun with it!


Other traits: Honesty is huge. If you can’t trust your partner then there’s no point at all in getting married.


Having a sense of humor helps. Nothing sucks worse than hearing crickets when you crack a joke.


Selflessness is good to have when thinking about kids (if that’s your thing). Women are moms, so they have to be into all of that to put up with the demands of young children.


Being physically fit. Usually leads to a better self image and will keep you interested in him as well as him into you. Once again, you don’t have to be a track superstar, just feel good about the way you look.


Piggy


She should never nag, never complain and never feel sorry for herself.


Gregory


In my world traits of a good wife is respect and honesty. It is not rocket science. She must first respect herself. If she has no respect for herself, how can she respect others. Honesty is a sign of good moral character. Physical attractiveness should not be at the top of a man’s list when he start looking for a wife.


timmt


A wife who doesn’t insist she is right all the time. Loyal, honest, open minded, wants to give and receive attention physically and emotionally.


J. C. F


not demanding


understands me


wants more than sex


not a know it all


Christian (sorry but i always go to church and am a strong Christian)


Forgiving


Good sense of humor


laughs at mistakes


raises children loosly


Looks dont matter to ME
.......................................................................
Suzaan:
 
What I have to say about all this personally is..........A wife needs to be a good friend and the rest falls into place.

The romance of love.

I watched this cute movie "500 days of Summer".


I was 14 years old and totally infatuated for the first time with this boy in the neighbourhood.He never spoke properly to me,ignored me and never gave me a second glance.I didnt understand what I felt ,all I knew was I blushed around him for some reason.I would sit by the beach and look at the moving river and if I happen to catch a glimpse of him,my heart would pound heavily but I kept saying to myself,this is wrong.Im too young for such sinful thoughts.So this was all I did,blush and look away ,scared that one day he would see me ogling.

I watched all these hindi movies where the girl and boy,played to hard to get and finally after some running around beautiful flowers,some dancing in the rain,some good deeds and faith,they fell in love and like all the love struck girls,I waited for my prince charming to come to my aid.

I always wanted a guy to fall in love with me first,give me flowers,take me out and be head over heels in love with me.I couldnt imagine any other way.Eventhough,it wasnt unusual for a girl to ask a boy out,I preferred being old-fashioned and not the modern crap about equality and going dutch at a restaurant.I prefer equality in terms of respect for one another,Consideration in matters big or small,not looking down on another and having faith in the decisions of life and matter.

I loved the feeling of falling in love.Not being in love but the falling part of it.The mornings seem to feel like full of love and you catch yourself smiling every now and then when you think of beautiful moments.Even the breeze on your face seems like a caress.You want to dress up and look good.Everyone around notices your joy and glow on your face and you love the world around you.You dont feel hungry,you dont get angry and nothing can get you low.I loved it all.I walked around with my headphones and mixed tapes even when I went out for walks.

Marriage can be a strong foundation but once you're through that phase,that falling in love becomes nothing more than a distant memory which you reminisce every now and then when you sit with friends or when you get together on that extra romantic time.I think its these very memories that make you step foward in your marital life and give you assurance and reminders that all what we worked for,has been this very moment in which you live.

Falling in love is a feeling not restricted to your partner or boyfriend,it extends to your children as well.They are a part of you,your legacy.How you are as a person,shapes their personality,makes them the people they are.To this very day,I remember how my dad teased my mom and how they laughed together.They fought like cats and dogs as well, so there are a little marrings to the wonderful memories.From this I learnt that I want to make good ,funny memories for ourselves.When I grow old,I want us to sit together and be thankful to God and each other for having had great lives.My husband finds it annoying as do all the men,that I keep saying I love you all the time.He goes like you are handing out free gifts or what ! So Im like,I feel like saying it,you have a problem,keep it to yourself.Now he chuckles saying you're nuts.

This may read surreal as we are living problematic lives with no time to spare,but think of it,at least for a good 10 minutes when you're free.If you arent happy,work on it little by little ,one day at a time, at loving life and seeing the positive part of it.Try to see the good in the situation coz everything happens for a reason.All the vying is not getting you anywhere,all that work in a relationship isnt getting you anywhere,all that self depriving,that anger....All your efforts arent fetching results....try looking at it in a different way,accept what is and see how you can improvise,in making it better.You only live once in this world and can never come back to change to relive it.Love your life and make others around love it too.For those who are already happy with it all,God bless.

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