Dec 10, 2011

Girlfriend chatter

We are a chatty bunch.We can hook up with our gals and begin from just about nothing.It could be the plane,train,ship ,desert or even the bathroom.2 women can open up just about anywhere about anything,from makeup to periods to marriages to kids to gold to men to youth to illnesses and so on and so forth.

Men are more of blunt with each other,their topic of conversation are less of an intimate nature,they stick to the point and the conversations are more about things which are on every one's mind at the time.I cant speak too much on their behalf.

Women tend to be different.Its all about gossiping,talking about how that person not with the group at the moment is this and that,are very open to intimate discussions of all kind,sort of empty their heart when discussing something.

Over the years ,I have realised that women can be fictitious about certain details in their conversation,will exaggerate the truth a little bit more and one way or the other try to prove that they are a little above the rest.I'm not fictitious as such but yes,to me,its all about proving that I'm better in certain areas than the rest that's to show off my cooking skills ,the reason being,I work hard at cooking well and like to be praised every now and then.Who doesn't,right ! SO I entertain and feed.Keeps me wanting to be a good cook.Other than that,I like my life to be represent itself,so no bragging rights required.

I love to observe people and look at how they function,what do they think and how do they go about their day in terms of daily chores,their children,their marriages and their work and social life.How do I manage to do something like this,I talk a little less and do a lot of listening to.Its amazing as to how people open up to you,when you are a good listener.

Women discuss their daily frustrations with rearing their kids.My kid is a fussy eater,is a slow learner,isn't talking yet,isn't walking yet,isn't independent yet,is too stubborn,is too weak,too thin,too fat and so on and so forth.Bringing up your children in a forsaken world like ours,is a huge challenge to any parent in this day and age.Everyone wants their child to be less of a booby,more of a brainy, talented in one way or more and how one goes about doing so,is one of the most difficult missions to accomplish.Because how one brings up their child,will determine the kind of person he/she will be in the future.So you see, this makes it one of the most important topic of conversation over the phone or in person.

After this comes work.How one is doing at work,who is stabbing who behind their back,who is shunning you or being appreciative,what solidarity rules and who lost their footing or gained one ,on the corporate ladder ! How one kisses ass and how one manages to move up the system.

Another popular food for thought, comes out of the marital diary.My husband isn't listening enough,my husband isn't appreciative enough,my husband is still latched on to his parents,my husband isn't all over his kids when he comes home,my husband isn't all over me when he comes home,we spend no quality time together,there is too much activity in the bedroom,there is zero activity in the bedroom,there is something weird in the bedroom,the kids are in our beds,the husband is watching too much of TV and less of me,the bedroom has become more of a cold storage than summery Hawaii, there isn't any spontaneity left.These are things that women discuss more often than anticipated.And actually look forward to sharing among girlfriends.I'm more of "Don't Kiss and tell" kind of a person but there are quite a lot of women,who love to discuss such details.

Initially,I wondered ,why would someone just blabber something like this.Was it because they trust you to not divulge this piece of information,or was it a form of release to speak it out ,so it wouldn't hatch eggs in your mind no more.Or was it because they got some pleasure out of discussing such hush hush details.Bedroom gossip is like a dirty magazine.You don't buy it openly,you hide and read them,to give you guilty pleasures.I was surprised to realise that I was way more conservative when it came to things like these.I don't discuss such things,coz I think they make you seem crass and make the people in the conversation lose respect for another over such private details.Maybe a BFF who you knew since time immemorial but not among general friends.At least not for me.

Another favourite choice of topic is one's birthing experience.I must have heard the same old thing a million times.I have immense respect for women mind you,who have gone through this important phase of their life.I'm respectful of it,but to be dramatic about it or make it seem like a drudgery ! Bringing a child into this world ,is an unbelievable feat of strength and patience but to tell it as if you nearly lost your life doing so.It is painful,yes,pushing a melon out of a hole meant for lime,yes,I know how painful it is.But to discuss the birth of your child like a near death experience,women please.You are making something so beautiful seem like "World War 3 of the Womb". Initially I was flabbergasted, I was new to all this.I never heard my mom discuss it in a such a scary way.In her words, yes,I was pregnant,I had a huge belly towards the end,I went in the morning for delivery and came back home in the evening.She would say ,"It is every woman's birthright to have a child,so no pain,no gain".My sister had a 4kg healthy bubbly boy and all she could say was,yeah,It was painful alright but not like how my friends described it.She doesn't like to discuss too much about it.She is happy she had a beautiful baby in the end.

But some women,they will for months keep updating their birthing stories and the details will change from time to time.The 2 stitches will be 4 stitches,the birthing from 1 hour will become 5 hours,the health scare will go from moderate to on the deathbed kind of thing.Its amusing to me in the end,especially if you are the kind of person who doesn't forget details about things very easily.

Then I know of women who love to talk about their possessions.I own this and that.I have this much of gold,or I bought stuff for this much money.I shop here regularly,I eat her everyday.This costs this and that costs that and I have it.This is a common choice of topic among older women.They love to strut their stuff in your face in the hope of receiving accolades of some kind.Now this can be annoying especially if the person you are yakking to is not into "show me your junk" kind of thing.I have been to a very few kitty parties a couple of years ago.I was the youngest in the group and all I got to hear,was I spent this much on this and that much on that and eventually,I found the whole thing too annoying and I stopped going.I rather embarrass myself talking to a bunch of intellectuals than burn myself out amidst such arrogance.

Some share cookery skills and tips,recipes,house decorating tips,which are my favourite.Fashion is a topic of discussion too but then if you are the kind who is into the latest fad,then great.Some love to discuss their illnesses in length.Some like to explain the various medications raising havoc on their bodies.

My girlfriends and I are always into weight issues.Who has gained how much,who is fatter,who is fairer,who is looking good and who needs to work on what.We discuss how we have been healthwise,how we have gotten our way,how we havent gotten our way,who slogged the whole week.Who entertained friends and who had nobody come over .Who ate out a lot and who didnt manage to eat junk food.Who got special treats and who didnt.Who bought makeup or shoes or what.

It has been a while since all of us hooked up now and maybe thats why,I thought of this blog today.

SO you see,when women gather to talk,conversations are juicier and fun.Because we women talk this way,we have Oprah, The View ,Martha Stewart and many such talk shows which we love and adore so much.


  1. i love Oprah

    and i cannot wait to meet you at least once to go on a chattering marathon :o

  2. I could nevr discuss my personal life with anyone..about my husband or bedroom:).thats sacrosanct..

  3. haha .. I remember My roomie and I used to talk for hours in the washroom.. so much that people speculated about our relationship and what we actually did in there :-)))
    most times, we would crib about our work and decide our weekend plans and check out our figures :-P

    discussing about bedroom stuff is something I would find tough to do..!!!

    Great read Suzy!! Loved it!

  4. Among my girlfriends the most vulgar thing the ladies have seen are erections In movies...bedroom chatter,is all about women in the aftermath and gyni kind of stuff like I think I pulled this muscle,got a cramp,am bored of it and what special can be done and what not.We,most of us, have crossed the seven ten year itch.We keep the taboo part...taboo in our conversations.
    Thank you Suji Darling,we need to have that marathon indeed.Thank you Renu and Jenny.

  5. "It is painful,yes,pushing a melon out of a hole meant for lime" LOL
    I think women tend to discuss more personal issues when they meet up where as men usually tend to talk abt business, cricket, shares and so on. When I meet my friends we usually talk abt our work, our husband or life in general. Bedroom talk feels awkward :)


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