I miss indian weddings.Recently After watching band bajaa baraat,Im just hoping someone plans on marrying here.Pakistani weddings,I've heard,can be just like hindu weddings with endless ceremonies.But the people among our families have already tied the knot and are busying in making ready their progeny.
I remember the first wedding I attended in Kuwait.I must have been 3 and didnt know what being shy meant when it came to dancing.I remember it was on this huge ship converted into a wedding hall.I wore a 70s styled red color dress and I remember and am told by some of my family friends,that I danced to every song alone on the stage.They were so happy to see some kid go gaga over every song,that I was given a present for dancing the life out of me.Well, as the years went by,things changed.I learnt to be a bit shy and danced when 10 or more started charging towards the dance floor.
To me a good wedding is where everyone is able to have fun ,be it with food or by dancing or simply being with friends.But dancing I think brings out that rawness and fun out of you.You can go wild and no one will say anything coz everyone wants to do the same.
Weddings in Kuwait were as usual the same as everywhere.Wearing the latest outfits,wearing every piece of gold ,flowers on the head,perfumes which can choke you,makeup of every colour.
My mom and her sisters were the first to scream on receiving an invitation.Then it was like,we must buy this sari and that sari,nah ! this is the latest..Hey,that color...Once they were done with themselves,they focused on us.My mom would go nuts over our clothes.She wanted us to stand out in the crowd and my Gosh we did,I have the fotos to prove it.It was the 80s and shimmering not,clothes that were as bright as the Sun were in fashion.Sequins and what not....I hated most of the outfits she got stitched for us and getting ready on the day was a nightmare.There was a lot of shouting,shoes flying,clothes flying all over,then there were some slappings and beatings,but when we left the house we all had to have a smile,be it plastic or genuine.
Our mom lectured us all the while we tried to reach the venue.Her rules were :-
1)Better have a big smile when someone greets you.Be polite.
2)When someone wants to dance with you,shut it and say yes.(no shortage of men whose wives wouldnt dance with them and we kids had to take that punishment.)
3) Better not tag on your clothes and give an impression you aint liking it.
4)Keep a track on your dad,cannot loose a man in a hall who is drinking as if its his last.
5)When I call for you,better be there.Dont make me come after you.
6)Dont sit like boys,keep your legs together.DOnt pick on your nose or hair or the flowers on your head.DOnt pull on your underwear.
7)If you have to go to the loo,find me or if you go to the toilet,make sure you dont dirty the shoes and definitely wash your hands.Dont hold on to your crotch if you cant control.
8) Better not go for a second serving.Dont act like you have not seen food before.Suzaan,you better not be holding another drumstick in your hand.You want to eat more cake,ask politely.Dont hover over a waiter.
9)Take a little of everything from the buffet,one should taste everything.You dont like something,give it to me.Dont make a face in front of people.
10) Dance as much as you want.Be careful of your gold and your feet.
Those were most of the rules.
Then after the 90s,when we went to India,I attended my first desi wedding.It was very very different.Instead of a DJ,there was the local band playing weird desi numbers.There were konkani songs on most of the time and people danced weird.It was like Amitabh BAchan's step.Or I called it the chicken dance.The arms flapping around like a chicken.Everyone ,including the bride, wore a sari.The old women sang tunes which seemed almost tribal.Instead of feeling like a guest,I felt like an foreigner,trying to make sense of everything.It did have its own charm and all but I couldnt keep dancing like a chicken and when I did try to dance to an english number,people thought it was crap and it was embarassing.They thought it was very robot like emotion less.
There is a reason I love tamil songs.Watch them,they dance like crazy and simply shake and jiggle and wiggle around.It like Im lovin it and I dont care what u have to say coz we dance this way.
When you get the hang of it,you do enjoy it but I was getting to know my relatives and learning the meaning of the various functions.And when you are a teenager,you rather stand out than blend in.Over the years,my mom realised I had a head of my own and I would never do things I never liked for anyone.My dad knew I was like him.
Anyways,I never had a function at all when I got married.No red outfit,no jewellery,no dancing,nothing.We got married in the court of law.It was hello hello,I do I do,bye bye.Im thinking of making it up to me by having a samll gathering during my 10th anniversary,lets see how it goes?
I have attended 2 weddings in Pakistan but of them were very simple,sober kind of affairs.Not too much show sha....and having a conservative husband doesnt help either.In Islam,you arent suppose to have tarditions man made and rather have a simple affair.The bride and the groom are the main highlights,they dress well and so do the guests.Its a straight thing - COme ,eat,bless and go.
Anyways,I dont love weddings so much as I did before.Maybe I missed on 2 of the most important weddings of my life and that I find the other sober kinds,boring.
All I do now is pray at every wedding and this hasnt changed,that the couple find each other in every way,they discover their soulmates in each other and work on a love that lasts forever.
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