Kid stuff

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My Kid Just Said… 

[Christmas morning]

“Whu’s dat? A pwesent? Fo MEEE??? Whu’s in it?”

[1 minute later]

“I can’t open da wapping. It keeps wipping. Oh WOOK! TWAINS!!!”

[.0001 seconds later]

“I wead da ‘stwuctions and you buiwd it, okay, Daddy?”

[100 minutes or so later]

“It’s not wook wight, Daddy. Hewe ya go. You can have da ‘stwuctions but juuuuust fo one minute!”

[10 minutes later]

“Watch da twain go down, Daddy! YAAAYYYYY!!!”
There’s always that first Christmas for your kid. Not the actual offical First Christmas that we all know “doesn’t count,” where you the parent spent most of your time on drool management and trying to prop their little bobble-heads up long enough for a family photo. I mean the one where your kid first GETS it, where they first fling out their little arms and YAY at the top of their lungs.
–Andy
 

[1 minute later]

“Daddy, I bwoke da twain twacks again. You pwease fix it?”


My Kid Just Interrupted… #13

Posted by  on November 22nd, 2012, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

[Talking at dinner, our 3yo interrupts]

Lucas: “Mouskerdee MOUSKERDOOOOOO!!!”
Lizzie: “Lucas, we’re talki—”
Lucas: “Wus DAT!?!”
Me: “It’s turkey, man. C’mon, we’re talkin—”
Lucas: “I do NOT wike it!”
Lizzie: “Yes, it’s a different kind, but it’s still turk—”
Lucas: “I pooping in my underwear.”
Lizzie: “Come here, let me check.”

[She pulls open his waistband and, as if she pulled a string on his back, he rips a thunder fart]

Lucas: “See. Das poop.”

[She changes the unlucky underwear and returns]

Lizzie: “What were we talking about?”

[I shake my head in wonder, as well as to say that I have absolutely no idea what we were talking about]


My Kid Just Said… #7

Posted by  on August 21st, 2012, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."
[Sigh] “I feel so relaxed. Like I just peed.” [Everyone bursts out laughing] “What!?!It makes you feel relaxed!” -Max (2010, 10 years old)
 
Max fallen asleep in the carRelaxation Level: Max.


We all voiced our agreement by laughing even harder.
He was right! It’s true. It’s not something you talk about over tea and crumpets. Or ever really. Still, it’s true. The harder the need to go pee, the more relieving and relaxing the release.





My Kid Just Said… #6

Posted by  on July 24th, 2012, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."
[Lucas (3yo) looking at a picture of himself]“Da’s Wucas!”
Me: “No, you’re supposed to say ‘that’s me.’”
[long pause accompanied by scrunchy nose of disapproval] “No, Daddy! It not yooOooOooOU! It WUCAS!” -Lucas

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