GAMMI

My nanima's home was a tiny little shack.It had red floorings like most of the old fashioned homes built in the 50s.It had 1 hall,one porch and 1 inner room where the suitcases were placed.It was the changing room,store room and I remember it had a very dim light maybe 20 watts.You could hardly see your ownself.It has a kitchen area,tiny one which had such blackened walls with all that cooking over fire.It didnt have a toilet but later on thanks to my dad and our constant crying during our visits,he paid for a bathroom and toilet and a tap as well.


What I loved about this place despite its modest setting,was it was 2 minutes away from a river.Dont know which it is now,but it was a gorgeous river.Coconut trees growing all by its side and the abundant clams and fish and crabs.

I would wake up every morning,brush my teeth,wash my face and run to the shore.AN early morning visit is not advisable coz you see the whole village paying it a visit,the ones with no toilets at home.It took me a while to shake this horrifying images of uncles and aunties holding a small lota of water and doing namaskara,Ahem ahem ! As you must have guessed,I didnt know at first,so I paid a closer visit.

But despite it all,I loved the river a lot.I took so many baths in it(after being told tht things were buried and not left to sail),I went shell picking which was a big thing in tht village.The way the water shone when the rays of the sun fell on it,the sound of tiny waves hitting the shore,tiny kids playing by the beach,the feeling of sand between your toes,the coolness of the water during the summer season in the morning...It was amazing!

Breakfast was usually tea and rusks,sometimes eggs.Water was being pulled out of the well and put into the bath drums.I loved the well.Looking into,screaming my name into it,pulling the water out into kolsos.ANd many a times,I would tell myself that someday I will be thanking my stars for enjoying this life.This phase,this simplicity.

Women wearing nightgowns with sari underskirts and their high tight buns.They would walk into the fields to do their daily chores of planting and seeding and pulling crops out.We were the odd ones out cause with all the chocolates we had been choking on as kids,we had absolutely no energy compared to the local kids.One step into that water laden mushy fields and I would eeeeeee and Oooooooo n yuckkkkkkkhhhh.They would be bent on thier backs for hours doing their daily work and I could hear my joints and back grinding with each other in 5 minutes.I wasnt expected to do anything but I wanted to be a part of it.In the end,I would be sitting at the side of the field while my cousins mocked me and my healthy "never done a day's work in life" body.

You could usually see me running along the beach,sleeping over grass patches,watching the clouds going by.People who knew us dreaded us.Cant they even do one little thing? How lazy can they get? Excuse me people,if I never did the dishes,or pulled out water or walk barefoot or wash clothes.But I eventually did.I learnt to wash my clothes -thanks to hostel life,learnt to pull out water-thanks to hindi movies and Sri Devi,learnt to run barefoot -thanks to indian movies portraying village life.I gathered little wood for fire - thanks to my cousins who always did it.

Beedi making was another part of life in our Nanima's household.I sat with them sometimes,even though,by the time I made one,my aunt made 4.I would think that one day in future as I will drench myself in luxury and read in books that people used to do this and that,I could smile and say,I have done it.

Actually,living in that village taught me many things.To be humble,to be happy with what little you have and no matter how rich one is or isnt,family politics is just about everywhere.You learn you dont need every machine to keep your life going.I walk into households of friends and they have dryers,automatic machines,etc.They dont struggle that much at all coz if you can afford it then why not !

Back then I would sit and watch the beautiful sunset for hours on end and find peace within myself.Now its like I would have to drink tequilla to find that peace.Or maybe marriage or running a family is not that small a responsibility.

I miss that place now.Those memories are relived in my mind every waking day.The saltiness of the sea in the air is enough to flood all those wonderful memories back.

I actually started out to write something and ended up with something else.Suzaan,you should rearrange your thinking rail ka patri.It keeps changing lanes.

I miss my gammi.SHe must be 86 years old now.

My perception of college....as a stupid teen !

Every Indian girl dreams of the same thing as she enters her
teen years.Im going to wear the latest clothes,songs will be
sung by the boys,there will be a lot of flirting,there will
be lots of dancing and picnics and the most important of
all,we will be finally carrying just 4 books to college.I
dont know if all the girls do believe this but I was an
ardent believer of this theory.Now you know how messed up I
was,I really didnt stand a chance in the crazy world.


To my bad luck,my dad commanded I continue at Little rock
because someone had to be there for the younger siblings.The
cross one has to bear because he popped out first into this
nutty world.All my college ke sapne came crashing down when


I realised I had to wear a uniform,a hopeless one at that
with the V shaped dupatta pinned across your chest.The only
glamorous thing for me was my chappals.That was the one
thing that got me excited every morning when getting ready
for school.


The next 2 years were dedicated to studying and finishing
the school phase.I had to get through it,maybe then I would
enter the filmi style college life without my dad breathing
down my throat to keep company to my siblings at every
moment of my life.


In the end,I ended up in this strict college,thanks to my
dad who was ever present to re enforce his commands.We
werent allowed to wear pants,nothing knee length or
shorter,it was just salwar kameez and long skirts and
tops.The college had a good rapport as to having excellent
lecturers,good teaching skills and all but by then I was
turning 18 and my dreams of living the ideal college life
was fading away.I had to stay in a hostel and I was like,"No
way! Jail me entry dobara....mene kisi ka kya bigada
hai....devaaaa!"


You cannot go out,you cannot loiter around,you cannot
bunk,you cannot watch movies first day ,first show,you had
to all things yourself and still had to listen to some
authority figure.I was frustated,so I did the only thing I
could.Study and keep on studying well.

Within months of beginning my degree,I realised many things.

1) Whats with these never ending studying,notes,lectures,why
is microbiology so hard? I actually wanted to slap myself
everytime I sat for hours in the library making notes and
studying for microbiology.To be honest,I actually simply
ticked on microbiology,coz I thought I wouldnt get a seat.To
my shock,girls were being [particular not to choose this
subject,coz they all knew what it included and I,stupid as
Iam, didnt know what it was.

2) Since its an all women's college,no guys to feast eyes on
or vice versa,there could be no infatuations,no ladke ko
impress karne ke liye fashion karne ka masla.I had such a
horrid,boring wardrobe in my college days.It all contained
very few salwar kameez,long black skirts and T shirts.None
of them matched,none of them were even remotely
feminine,Even I wasnt remotely feminine.I had the shortest
hair,it was like Saif Ali Khan in Omkara.The one womanly
thing I did was buy a lakme lipstick which I wore soemtimes
and I wore eyeliner under my glasses.


But I had my share of fun back then.I made excellent friends
for life.I learnt many things from the ladies I knew.I did
everything I wanted to and dreamt of but I wont jot them
down .A gentleman never kisses and tells.I cant say a lady
coz ladies cannot keep anything to themselves.They spill the
beans very easily when there are eager ears around.

I was actually watching some of these old songs from the
movies of the 90s and It just came all back to me as to what
I thought life was.But at age 34,I stand corrected.Life is a
bitch.She has to bite you at times for you to learn your
lesson.ANd a lesson learnt well.

Cricket world Cup 2011 April 2nd.

India won over Sri Lanka by 6 wickets and 277 runs.Bless India and that hard working cricket team.

India has won its world cup after 28 years.For the first time in the past 10 world cups,a country has won chasing.Gambhir and Dhoni did extremely well.Congrats to us indians.

Weddings

I miss indian weddings.Recently After watching band bajaa baraat,Im just hoping someone plans on marrying here.Pakistani weddings,I've heard,can be just like hindu weddings with endless ceremonies.But the people among our families have already tied the knot and are busying in making ready their progeny.


I remember the first wedding I attended in Kuwait.I must have been 3 and didnt know what being shy meant when it came to dancing.I remember it was on this huge ship converted into a wedding hall.I wore a 70s styled red color dress and I remember and am told by some of my family friends,that I danced to every song alone on the stage.They were so happy to see some kid go gaga over every song,that I was given a present for dancing the life out of me.Well, as the years went by,things changed.I learnt to be a bit shy and danced when 10 or more started charging towards the dance floor.

To me a good wedding is where everyone is able to have fun ,be it with food or by dancing or simply being with friends.But dancing I think brings out that rawness and fun out of you.You can go wild and no one will say anything coz everyone wants to do the same.

Weddings in Kuwait were as usual the same as everywhere.Wearing the latest outfits,wearing every piece of gold ,flowers on the head,perfumes which can choke you,makeup of every colour.

My mom and her sisters were the first to scream on receiving an invitation.Then it was like,we must buy this sari and that sari,nah ! this is the latest..Hey,that color...Once they were done with themselves,they focused on us.My mom would go nuts over our clothes.She wanted us to stand out in the crowd and my Gosh we did,I have the fotos to prove it.It was the 80s and shimmering not,clothes that were as bright as the Sun were in fashion.Sequins and what not....I hated most of the outfits she got stitched for us and getting ready on the day was a nightmare.There was a lot of shouting,shoes flying,clothes flying all over,then there were some slappings and beatings,but when we left the house we all had to have a smile,be it plastic or genuine.

Our mom lectured us all the while we tried to reach the venue.Her rules were :-

1)Better have a big smile when someone greets you.Be polite.

2)When someone wants to dance with you,shut it and say yes.(no shortage of men whose wives wouldnt dance with them and we kids had to take that punishment.)

3) Better not tag on your clothes and give an impression you aint liking it.

4)Keep a track on your dad,cannot loose a man in a hall who is drinking as if its his last.

5)When I call for you,better be there.Dont make me come after you.

6)Dont sit like boys,keep your legs together.DOnt pick on your nose or hair or the flowers on your head.DOnt pull on your underwear.

7)If you have to go to the loo,find me or if you go to the toilet,make sure you dont dirty the shoes and definitely wash your hands.Dont hold on to your crotch if you cant control.

8) Better not go for a second serving.Dont act like you have not seen food before.Suzaan,you better not be holding another drumstick in your hand.You want to eat more cake,ask politely.Dont hover over a waiter.

9)Take a little of everything from the buffet,one should taste everything.You dont like something,give it to me.Dont make a face in front of people.

10) Dance as much as you want.Be careful of your gold and your feet.

Those were most of the rules.

Then after the 90s,when we went to India,I attended my first desi wedding.It was very very different.Instead of a DJ,there was the local band playing weird desi numbers.There were konkani songs on most of the time and people danced weird.It was like Amitabh BAchan's step.Or I called it the chicken dance.The arms flapping around like a chicken.Everyone ,including the bride, wore a sari.The old women sang tunes which seemed almost tribal.Instead of feeling like a guest,I felt like an foreigner,trying to make sense of everything.It did have its own charm and all but I couldnt keep dancing like a chicken and when I did try to dance to an english number,people thought it was crap and it was embarassing.They thought it was very robot like emotion less.

There is a reason I love tamil songs.Watch them,they dance like crazy and simply shake and jiggle and wiggle around.It like Im lovin it and I dont care what u have to say coz we dance this way.

When you get the hang of it,you do enjoy it but I was getting to know my relatives and learning the meaning of the various functions.And when you are a teenager,you rather stand out than blend in.Over the years,my mom realised I had a head of my own and I would never do things I never liked for anyone.My dad knew I was like him.

Anyways,I never had a function at all when I got married.No red outfit,no jewellery,no dancing,nothing.We got married in the court of law.It was hello hello,I do I do,bye bye.Im thinking of making it up to me by having a samll gathering during my 10th anniversary,lets see how it goes?

I have attended 2 weddings in Pakistan but of them were very simple,sober kind of affairs.Not too much show sha....and having a conservative husband doesnt help either.In Islam,you arent suppose to have tarditions man made and rather have a simple affair.The bride and the groom are the main highlights,they dress well and so do the guests.Its a straight thing - COme ,eat,bless and go.

Anyways,I dont love weddings so much as I did before.Maybe I missed on 2 of the most important weddings of my life and that I find the other sober kinds,boring.

All I do now is pray at every wedding and this hasnt changed,that the couple find each other in every way,they discover their soulmates in each other and work on a love that lasts forever.