Bully

I have been thinking about bullying for some time,I think it was Sujatha mentioning about crying a lot as a kid and all.I think most of us have been bullied at some point or the other.Some of us got through it with ease,some of us just took it all in and damaged ourself in time while some took it to extreme levels and ruined it for many or just ourselves.


I have watched a great deal of documentaries and programs and come to the conclusion,that most of the bullys are actually people who had it hard at home or are complete brats to others existence.They had deprived moments,witnesses painful existence themselves and therefore,not knowing to create a healthy outlet,just dumped it all on others who seemed weak or simplistic.

I come from a very over protective family,where my folks made it a point that unlike thier young lives,we wouldnt have to go through any pain or take any bad decisions on our own and endure any pain.Since all my decisions right upto the age of 12 were made by my folks,I lived a pretty stressfree life and unaware of the big bad world I was doomed to face with no choice.Then the war happened and due to financial strains,my folks decided the best thing for me was to live in a hostel.Education couldnt be uninterrupted no matter what,it was on top of everything...Like my mom would always say," All you have to do is study well,eat well and get good grades,you dont have any other stuff to worry about."

Since my mom lived ina hostel too for a coule of years as a kid,I thought she couldnt be wrong.Maybe there is nothing indeed to worry about.My folks are the kind of people who didnt talk much about their lives as kids or adults and thought ,thus,it shouldnt affect us in any way.

But it did.It changed me a lot.It made me the strong hearted,perhaps,stone hearted.

When i joined the hostel,besides living my treadful nightmare,of living away from my folks without being prepared for anything,I landed in a room of actual capacity 4 but was stuffed with 12.One had to wash their own undergarments and home clothes,ne had to visit the loo that had a 60 watt bulb which lit 6 toilets.I had to make new friends who seem to come from all parts of India,who looked at me as if I were an alien.I may have seemed to be "that kid from the gulf" but I was lonely,heart broken,super confused and alienated.

I never touched a detergent in my life,I had never been in a dark place.And within a couple of months things started going wrong.This girl,a classmate,started bullying me.I wont mention names here but she would go like," Dont act all innocent ok", "dont overact ok", "dont be over smart ok","Just because you came from abroad,doesnt mean you are superior".....If I did well in class or was praised by a teacher..I was being oversmart??? If someone took a shine to me,she would go all nuts and ask people not to talk to me.I cried all the time,I wanted to run away from the hostel,I wanted to kill myself.Every time my folks came to visit me on weekends,I beged them to remove me from this school.I would rather stay illiterate then go through all this pain of which i had no idea what to do.My folks would be like,"Just ignore her and study well.Do it for us...pray to God." Yeah right ! Me kneeling on my knees and crying 24/7 was gonna do any goo for me.

One day it happened.That girl created a huge roar and I had had it for months now.She called me a bitch.And warned if anyone ever spoke to me,she would let go of her wrath on them.That was it, she finished her sentence and I whipped a "Bitch" to her face.I was shaking,shivering and wanted to cry coz for the first time I stood for myself in life.I gave her the stare,the stare that I have been and am still famous for.

She didnt say a word nor did I and we left it at that.I felt good,reborn and i made a promise to myself that I would allow anyone to nag or bully me like this ever again and no matter what,I would give hell for hell if I had to but not bend for someone.Weeks went by and slowly she came around and so did I.

That was one of the first lessons I ever learnt after entering teenhood.And a lesson I will never forget.My folks noticed a change in me and after that I wouldnt be anyone's bitch no more.

This story may inspire someone or to some it maybe a joke.I know of people who have been bullied in far more cruel ways and also of those who in the end committed suicide.A very crucial lesson to be learnt in life is," zulm sehne wala zulma karne wale se bada gunaahgaar hota hai".Dont let go of your self respect to be in the good books of someone and never ever back off in the presence of a bully.

Shashlik

Recently we made chicken and prawn shashlik for a couple of friends.Eventhough it sounds complicated,one of the reasons,I never bothered to go through the recipe online,its actually a very simple and easy to cook recipe.


Ingredients :

2 chicken breasts (Boneless chicken prefered or 12 prawns deviened and cleaned).

3 tbspn Soya sauce ( I prefer the normal one,not the sweet one)

1nhalf tbspn Vinegar ( can go for the colourless kind or the apple cider one)

2 capsicum/bell peppers ( both are the same,they come in green,yellow,red,orange...)

1 big Onion

1 tomato

bamboo skewers/sticks ( readily available )



Method :

Now cut the chicken breasts into small 1 inch cubes or if its prawn,then leave it whole.Add the soya sauce,vinegar,red chilli powder( as per spiciness required),salt to taste,black pepper.Powders you will add maybe a tspn or less,depends on the amount of chicken or prawns you have.

Remember,soya sauce is salty on its own,so will add a little less salt.Or in a vessel add the sauces and powders first and taste it,if you're not sure how much of what to add and in the end add the chicken or prawns.

Keep this aside to marinate for at least 3 hours.


With the veggies,same thing.Cut them into square pieces i.e. capsicum,onion,tomatoes.Remember when you cut the tomato in half,throw away the pulp of it i.e. the seeds and central part.Add a little salt,a little soya sauce,and vinegar like half a tspn of each and marinate them as well for 10 minutes.If you want to keep it simple,just cut them into square pcs and keep aside.


In the end,remember to soak your bamboo skewers for at least 15 minutes or so in water before using them ,so that they dont catch fire while either barbeque them or frying them.



Arrange the chicken /prawns and veggies on the skewers like onion,capsicum,chicken,tomato or anyway you want.FRy them on a flat frying pan or tawa with either cooking oil/butter/margarine.Turn them on either side every 5 minutes or until they are cooked.

You can squeeze lemon juice over it and eat ,accompanied by simple salad.


Hopefully it was as delicious as mine turned out to be.

Simple Beauty Remedies

Even though most of us say,and I mean only women and very few men,that

we dont do anything special for our looks,its just great the way it
is,we actually do many things to improve our complexion,have good skin
and what not.Some can afford expensive branded creams while some
cant.I cannot even amount the will power to go to a cosmetic shop and invest in a cream or lotion or oils which cost as much as 3 cans of cooking oil for a month.

I try homemade remedies from things available in our home.Taking a
few tablespoons now and then, wont empty the kitchen.Some work,Some Im
allergic to,some simply dont work.I abide by a few things i.e.
milk,turmeric,lemon,rose water,cucumber and a few others.Im allergic
to honey on my face,also am allergic to pineapple,cinnamon and a few
other things.

When you apply something on your skin or face and you feel a burning
sensation or a tingling feeling or not very cooling,immediately wash
your face off.That means you are defnitely allergic to that product or
ingredient.Remember,walking in the sun can be just as harmful.All my
life,I wore no sun screen,not even a hat,when outside.Walking in a
45+ degree celsius heat is no joke,but back then I didnt care.My skin
burns easily and like many sensitive skinned people,I tan easy or get
rashes easily and my marks or scars takes years to clear off
naturally.Its for the very reason,I have never done facial or facial
hair waxing or threading,black head removal and what not.Thats why I
follow these home remedies always,to keep my skin clean and clear coz
nothing can pamper skin like natural things ...milk,haldi and all.

One has to know their skin type.So if its oily,you can use lemon
freely,if its dry,you should use milk or rose water.Stuff like that
has to be kept in mind.I have used many of these tips myself and some
Im gonna try soon.Most of us dont do this cause our excuse is we dont
have the time and energy.Well,if you dont have the time,then you
shouldnt complain about your bad skin or what not.

Write this stuff down,stuff you think you want to try, on paper and stick it on your fridge or kitchen cabinet.It takes merely seconds to whisk these up
and almost all these ingredients are available in your kitchen.

When Im using milk in anything,I just take some in the palm of my hand
and slap it on my face.When my chore is done,I wash my face off.When
Im using eggs,the egg whites dripping from the shell,I rub it on my
face.Same with coconut oil,gram flour,rose water,black tea,etc.

After a long day outside,I clean my makeup off with coconut oil,clean
my face and moisturise.Once a week,I use fuller's earth(multani mitti)
with milk and rose water and apply the face pack.This I follow
religiously.SO its not all that difficult,you need to remember and do
it.

HAPPY PAMPERING !


FAIRER COMPLEXION

Take 1 tbsp of gram flour and 2 tsp of raw milk and 2-3 drops of lime
juice. Mix well and apply. Wash after 15 minutes. Repeat for 4 weeks
and follow up with once a week.

Grind a cup of mint leaves to a fine paste. Apply and leave for 20
minutes. Wash. Continue for 15 days.

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How to grow mint indoors?

Mint needs a sunny window. It may get a lanky as it stretches for the
light because it really prefers full sun. You can try using grow
lights as well. But try a sunny window.

Try curly and flat leaf parsley, which both tolerate less light and
may do better indoors.

As far as growing mint, we suggest using a large, deep pot in order to
allow it to grow wild. Mint will really sprawl!

You can purchase mint seeds at a garden store and start them yourself.
You can also look at organic grocers for small plants; transplant
these to a larger container and give them plenty of sun. They should
take off fairly quickly. We have always had good luck with mint; it
just loves to take over whatever container it's in!

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Remedies for eyes:

To remove puffiness from the eyelids, massage a drop of very fresh
castor oil on to them.

To cool your eyes, make eye pads using thick slices of cucumber.

Another option is to use cotton pads soaked in cold milk. Lie down and
place them on your closed eyes and relax for a while.

Putting a drop of rose water into each eye just before you sleep can
also refresh you eyes.

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Home remedies to remove Tan:


1. Mix cucumber paste with lemon juice and fuller's earth and apply it
for 15 minutes and then wash it off. It is an excellent anti-tan pack.

2. Mix chick pea powder in a little water and apply to the face. Leave
on for 15 minutes and wash it off with cold water. This improves
complexion or lightens your skin tone.

3. Mix tomato juice with a little curd and apply. Wash it off after 20
minutes.

4. Use of natural scrub like oatmeal ( add warm water to oatmeal, mix
it well to form a paste) helps to remove dead skin cells and stimulate
blood circulation.

5. Mix a little fresh lemon juice, gram flour ( besan) and curd and
apply it on the skin for 15 minutes regularly to get rid of sun tan.

6. Mix 3 drops of fresh lemon juice to a little milk, apply it on the
skin, leave it for 10-15 minutes and wash it with warm water. Do it
regularly.

7. I read this a couple of years ago in some magazine or maybe
online,that after a good day out in the sun,apply pure coconut oil on
your face or tanned parts and leave on for an hour and then wash off
with soap.It helps get rid of the tan.

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Natural cleanser:

Milk is a natural cleanser. Cleanse your face with cotton soaked in
raw milk. Use cold skimmed milk to remove your make-up.

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Body odor:

1. Mix juice of one lemon in a bucket of water and bathe in that
water.

2. Add rose water to your bath water to keep you fresh.

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Natural remedy for Chapped lips:

Apply butter (pure & unsalted) or almond oil or ghee and massage
gently.

Massage with chilled milk cream and wash it off after 1 hour. This
home remedy cures chapped lips.

Massage your lips with pure olive oil or coconut oil regularly to get
soft lips.

Massage your lips with a little glycerin mixed with a little rose
water for soft lips.

Drink plenty of water to keep your lips moisturized.

Application of petroleum jelly or lip balm helps cure chapped lips.

Apply honey and wash it off after 15 minutes to cure chapped lips.

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Home Remedies to cure dark lips


Honey mixed with a little lemon juice helps to lighten dark lips.

Apply Vaseline or lip balm when going out.

Mix 1/2 tsp Pomegranate juice with 1/2 tsp beetroot juice and apply
regularly to cure dark lips.

I tried plain beetroot juice on the lips as well and after a week ,the
dark color had faded off considerably.

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Beauty tips and care for the eyes

Have a good night sleep and give enough rest to your eyes.

Refresh your eyes by splashing cold water on it .

Apply pure castor oil for the eyebrows before going to bed for good
growth.

Soak cotton wool in chilled water to which a few drops of rose water
has been added and keep it on your eyes for 5 minutes. This will
refresh your eyes.

Rub your palms together and cover your eyes with palms to relax then .

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Beauty tips for dark circles around the eyes

1.Soak cotton in cucumber or potato juice and keep it on the eyes for
5 minutes and relax.
or you can even apply the juice with cotton around the eyes. If done
regularly, this home remedy for dark circles is very effective.

2.Apply almond oil around the eyes before going to bed or in the
morning. Almond is a natural bleach.

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Tips for hair care:


Home remedy for frizzy hair: Massage warm castor oil + almond oil into
your scalp gently. Wrap a hot towel (dip towel in hot water (bearable)
and squeeze the excess water) around your scalp so that the oil gets
absorbed into the hair. Do this once a week for healthy, silky,
lustrous hair. It also controls frizz.

Mayonnaise is an excellent conditioner for dry hair. Massage your
scalp with mayonnaise and leave it for half an hour. Then shampoo as
usual. Always rinse your hair well so that no traces of shampoo is
left behind.

Massage your scalp with olive oil using your finger tips. Remain for
half an hour and wash hair well. This natural remedy is an excellent
conditioning treatment. Do this once in a week for healthy hair. It
also controls frizz.

Vinegar is a great conditioner and can give shine to your hair. Mix 1
tbsp of vinegar to a mug of water and use it to your last rinse. It
also controls frizz in dry hair.

Squeeze juice of 1 lemon in a mug of water and use it for the final
rinse for oily hair.



General recommendations and tips to maintain the results are some of
the following:


- A high protein and an iron rich diet is recommended for hair loss.
An adequate intake of raw vegetables, fresh fruits, salads, green
leafy vegetables should be included in the diet on a regular basis.

- Use a natural shampoo to clean the hair. Amla (embilica
officinalis), Shikakai (Acacia concinna) are very good for washing the
hair.

- Oiling and massaging of scalp is very beneficial for stopping the
hair loss. Use coconut oil at least three times in a week. Certain
medicated oils like Neelibhringadi oil, Kunthala kanthi oil,
Kanjunnyadi oil are very useful. Put oil on the scalp, and massage
gently in the roots of the hair.

- The person should maintain a regular bowel movement everyday. In
case of constipation, a mild natural laxative can be taken. Triphala
is very useful.

- Regular physical exercise is very beneficial as it helps in
balancing the aggravated doshas.

- Rub your scalp after washing the hair. It increases the blood
circulation, and activates the sebaceous glands.

- A mixture of lettuce and spinach juice is good to drink to induce
hair growth. The juice of carrot, and lettuce juice is also good to
take.

- Applying juice of green coriander leaves on the head is also good.

- Washing the hair with a paste of cooked green gram and fenugreek
(methi) two to three times a week, is also good.

- A paste of licorice made by grinding it in milk can be applied in
the bald patches.

- The seeds of fenugreek is soaked in coconut oil and kept under
direct sunrays for seven days and applied to the scalp, which prevents
hair loss.

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Natural Tips to Clear Scars


Apply olive oil regularly on the face and massage lightly. The scars
will fade off in course of time.

Application of buttermilk daily helps to lighten scars.

Tomato pulp can be applied everyday on the face and washed off after
half an hour to get rid of scars from pimples.

Raw potato juice applied daily cures skin blemishes. Raw Potato juice
can also be mixed with fuller's earth (multani mitti ) and applied to
get rid of scars and blemishes naturally.Grind potatoes and squeeze
the juice out.

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Remedy for wrinkles:

For wrinkles or fine lines around the eyes, apply egg white, leave it
till it dries and wash it off with cold water. Do this regularly or on
alternate days. This natural remedy for wrinkles around the eyes is
very effective.

Massage the skin with olive oil or pure coconut oil regularly to
prevent wrinkles. Do not use soap that day, instead use gram pulse
flour.

Massaging pure sesame seed oil mixed with equal quantities of almond
oil also prevents wrinkles .

Apply egg white to the wrinkled skin and wash it off after it dries
with warm water. For fine lines under the eye, this home remedy is
very effective. Within a few days you will find the lines reducing.

Dry skin are more prone to wrinkles, so keep your skin moisturized and
hydrated.

Protect your skin from excessive exposure to the sun as it causes
wrinkles. Avoid going out from 12 a.m. to 3 p.m. Protect yourself by
wearing sunglasses and wide brimmed hat if you have to go.

Mash banana until creamy. Apply this mask and wash it off after 15
minutes to prevent wrinkles.

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A make up, skin or hair trick this actress learnt from an expert:

For instantly glowing skin, just splash rose water. My make up dada
told me that make up is incomplete without kajal. It highlights and
defines our eyes and suits every face. I use a Mac kajal pencil, which
is waterproof and doesn't smudge. He also advised me to apply Mac
Studio Fix+ spray after make up for a glow and to make it last longer.

I make sure I sleep well at night before a red carpet event because
puffy eyes screw up the make up. Avoid sun for a day so that the face
doesn't look tanned in the evening. Before applying make up, I rub an
ice cube on my face so that my skin is fresh and glowing and my make
up stands out.

My dead dishtv

My dish Tv expired a few days ago and it was like the end of world .We get a few local channels but just the thought of missing out on what I watch regularly made me bored to death and made me stir crazy just not being able to watch my regular programs.I dont watch this saas bahu crap at all,Its usually hindi movies and english series and national goegraphic ,discovery and animal planet.


Without it I felt ,now I wouldnt know how the lions survived in the desert.I wouldnt know how they hunted,how they jumped on their prey,I wondered how many frogs I would see miss jumping across leaves and trees.How many monkeys and chimps I would miss watching eating fruits and flowers and other little monkeys.How many insects would hunt and how many elepahnts and bisons I would miss giving birth.

I wondered what if I missed that episode of friends which i have seen a zillion times,Iam totally lost wothout my Tv.We have gotten to used to our television that if apocalypse hit us in a few days and Tv didnt exist anymore,we would be like those chopped headless chickens who still struggle but dont know what to do.For that matter even the internet,we do so many things,some useful and mostly useless stuff online.We dont know basics of surviving on our own isnt it.

I just got a titanium package recharged which will come on by tomorrow.My husband always says all you do is watch these discovery stuff as if you will very soon be surviving on your own.True ! Touchwood,that day doesnt seem to come near at least in this life time.But I personally think,gaining knowledge of any kind cannot be all that useless,isnt it ! Watching an animal give birth,like us,they too struggle for hours and without any medication and help bring life into this world.The struggles of turtle hatchlings into the sea,the very function of trees on this earth which seems to be on a decline,so is the melting of glaciers and what not.The greenhouse effect,change in weather....we all are witnessing to this phenomenon in our very lifetime.

When i was a kid ,back in the 80s,cold season in kuwait was severe.There was fog,extreme cold to the extent we had to wear gloves,mufflers and what not to keep ourselves warm,but now ,post gulf war,there is no cold out here.As the years go by,one can roam around wearing short sleeves ,its like a cool summer and nothing cold about it.

Look at me,talking about global warming......

We are a lazy people of this world.Dependent on technology for each and everything.We look for shortcuts in everything,be it cooking,working at our homes or anything.I always thought as a kid,when I grow up,I will be a working woman,perfect housewife and a great mother.Like my mom ,who struggled to get everything right and almost did,I too wished to be like that.I remember my mom cooking banquets for 30 people all by herself,not just one dish but 5 or 6 dishes.I can cook for 10 with ease and come up with 2 -3 dishes at the most,at the end of which,I feel dizzy and have evaporated about 80% of my body water.

People back then had social gatherings and thought about how to make themselves and each other better by solving certain issues.When they got bored,they had family games,family picnics,where the whole family got together,spoke about their pasts and other forthcomings.Everyone learnt something from their experiences.I remember my grandmas,both ofthem,talking about their lives and it was like looking at life,the simple way,a way we dont know of anymore.

Now we dont have such gatherings coz it means spending a lot of money.Time we think is better spent sleeping at home then spending with friends.I know such events are an expensive affair but pooling in for once a month,is it that difficult?

My dishtv died on me and I was worried for myself.And for the past 4 -5 days,I kept thinking about why cant we do this and that instead of rotting in our homes by ourselves.The thing,one person trying to organise everything,while others just shoot the idea down because of this and that.For most of us,just living our life everyday is a big chore..we dont have time for this or that..there are kids,busy lives,no time to rest reasons.We are teaching our kids,we all live for ourselves and they rather sit in front of the telly or computer or mobiles and play by themselves,than interact and have a social life.

We are becoming slaves to our lifestyle....that why I weep over my dishtv.Plus 2 of my social friends are on vacation..I miss them totally.