A few days back,I had attended this dinner invitation from an aunt of mine.Now its not just dinner.Women have Kitty parties where they gather and gossip about this and that and discuss children and their day to day struggles to have the latest and do the latest.I normally stay away from parties like these coz they are boring but my aunt invited and we went.While the men play cards,drink cigarettes and scream and shout over games that aren't played well.
This group consists of women over 40 and men over 50 and sons and daughters in their teens and I feel out of place.One of the couples became grandparents a few weeks ago and as I was walking out of the kitchen,I saw him and congratulated him.We never speak with each other coz I always got this vibe that he detests Indians but since Pakistanis and Indians anyways hate each other,his indifference doesnt bother me.
The man practically bit my head off for telling this," Uncle,congrats on you being a new grand dad."
He was like why did I call him uncle,how come he is an uncle now,etc. and even returned,madder than ever,to tell me "A 20 yr old girl could call him uncle but now older married women chiming in,what is that?"I didnt say anything because I was In the presence of 10 women and I brushed it off laughing.
My aunt did call me up to apologise for his rude behaviour and told me That after I left the party,the other women gave his wife a piece of their mind.The funniest thing is Im elder by 2 years to his eldest married daughter.The man is 25 yrs my senior,what do I call him...Bhai saab.
The point of telling this story is ,I do understand the need to keep a lock on the age thing but I thought this was a woman thing.Whats wrong in somebody calling you aunty or uncle.Do you achieve male or female menopause when Some respectfully addresses you.I have kids 12 years younger than me calling me aunty and I never felt bad.Why do we want to turn back time when we see a few white strands in our hair...that way I got old when I was 9,I had 3 strands of white hair back then.One should accept his age gracefully.The saying is to be young at heart..you cannot turn back time when you spot wrinkles or cover aging spots with foundation or prance around like a 15 yr old to portray youthfulness.
I see 45+ women wearing designer jeans and tight clothes,what on earth do they think? That they will look like teens ! Your growing children are not reminders of your time of death coming closer or your aging faster.They are the next generation that you gave birth to,they are what will remain of you after you are gone,they are the symbols of your love and hard work,those days of sweating it out to give your home the best of everything.They grow with a part of you in them and their presence,their future families,their well being stands for a job well done by you.So instead of looking at your growing kids and your aging as nothing but wrinkle producers,accept it..enjoy it....dont yell at people 30 yrs younger than you for respectfully addressing you as Uncle ya aunty.I make this joke about people who are struggling to keep up with teen looks past age 40.."Lagta hai Jawani khatam nai hona chahti."
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
10 REASONS NOT TO HAVE KIDS !
< The funniest part is that this article was written by a woman who has kids.Being without a sample presence of myself,I agree to everything she says here and I know many moms do too.>
1) They are Noisy
I am not saying that all of them are, I wasn’t, but the fact is that most of them will be constantly mouthing off about something. They have questions coming out the ass every day, day after day. No single thing is too small to be worthy of comment, no problem too insignificant to whine about, and then there’s the nagging. They nag. You give in once and after that they never let up.
2) Social Responsibility
You are not supposed to leave them alone for extended periods of time according to law, so you have a commitment to always providing people for them to be with, and sometimes to be with them yourself. You have to watch them in stores, keep them in sight wherever you are, and you absolutely cannot be mean to them in public for fear of winding up before a judge. How your child behaves will reflect directly upon you and your character. They say one curse word and people assume that you speak in Two Live Crew lyrics.
3) They Are an Economic Drain
Food, clothes, school-supplies, tuition, school-projects, toys, fast-food, prescriptions, not to mention having to pay for a large enough living space for two adults plus however many of them those two adults choose to have. If you rent, then there is always the potential of them destroying/something that you will have to pay for.
4) You Have to Teach them Things
You may or may not have figured this out: They are born knowing nothing. A blank slate. This means that you have years, possibly decades before they have anything insightful or interesting to say. But still, you will be a bad parent if you don’t listen to them. You are obligated to listen to all kinds of nonsensical irrelevant crap, all kinds of worthless interests and recaps of the Hannah Montana marathon they had on TV last weekend. You are obligated to tell them about life, sex, how to spend money, hygiene, calculus etc.
5) The TV Shows and Books you will have to Endure
A big part of knowing nothing is poor taste. Taste is a product of experience and therefore there will be a considerable length of time before they like things that make sense. You are obligated to read stories to them unless you want them whining about it when they grow up, you are also obligated to surrender at least one of the TVs in your house to the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon for several hours each day.
6) Their Friends
If your kids are normal they will at some point make friends, which means that you will not only have their presence to endure, but an assortment of other people’s failures as well. They will, perhaps, invite them home, at which point you may have to feed these other children, and endure their noise.
7) Constant Illness
Kids, especially when small, are walking petri-dishes. Nothing guarantees repeated stomach-flus, colds, and assorted random illnesses like being in the presence of a small child for hours at a time. Have a co-worker who is always sniffling or running to the bathroom? They either have a cocaine problem or they have a small child.
8)They Attract the Ill-Will of Strangers
Nothing in the world will get you more dirty looks than a poorly trained child. For some reason whole segments of the American population either have not yet had children, or will never have children, these people will not be sympathetic to your plight. Children to them are mere annoying strangers being inflicted upon them by you.
9)Once they are Born you are Pretty much Stuck with them
Under normal circumstances anyway. You don’t get to give them back, you don’t get to pass them on to somebody else short of going to prison or dying. If they are ugly or stupid, you will have to endure them for a long time to come.
10) They are Ungrateful
Kids in America grow up with a sense of being entitled to good parenting, as if it were something they earned in a previous life and have now come to collect. No parent, however is good enough, and they usually cannot find it in themselves to see how much worse it could be. They feel entitled to your time, the contents of your wallet and the remote control. And what do they give back? Maybe you will get to see your grandkids every now and then, and maybe, just maybe, they will pick a good nursing home for you when you are too old to take care for yourself.
< P.S.: I was a very naughty child.a product of the devil himself who dropped me at their hospital bed...a total handful that to this day my mom tells her friends the same thing.Imagine having another me around.>
1) They are Noisy
I am not saying that all of them are, I wasn’t, but the fact is that most of them will be constantly mouthing off about something. They have questions coming out the ass every day, day after day. No single thing is too small to be worthy of comment, no problem too insignificant to whine about, and then there’s the nagging. They nag. You give in once and after that they never let up.
2) Social Responsibility
You are not supposed to leave them alone for extended periods of time according to law, so you have a commitment to always providing people for them to be with, and sometimes to be with them yourself. You have to watch them in stores, keep them in sight wherever you are, and you absolutely cannot be mean to them in public for fear of winding up before a judge. How your child behaves will reflect directly upon you and your character. They say one curse word and people assume that you speak in Two Live Crew lyrics.
3) They Are an Economic Drain
Food, clothes, school-supplies, tuition, school-projects, toys, fast-food, prescriptions, not to mention having to pay for a large enough living space for two adults plus however many of them those two adults choose to have. If you rent, then there is always the potential of them destroying/something that you will have to pay for.
4) You Have to Teach them Things
You may or may not have figured this out: They are born knowing nothing. A blank slate. This means that you have years, possibly decades before they have anything insightful or interesting to say. But still, you will be a bad parent if you don’t listen to them. You are obligated to listen to all kinds of nonsensical irrelevant crap, all kinds of worthless interests and recaps of the Hannah Montana marathon they had on TV last weekend. You are obligated to tell them about life, sex, how to spend money, hygiene, calculus etc.
5) The TV Shows and Books you will have to Endure
A big part of knowing nothing is poor taste. Taste is a product of experience and therefore there will be a considerable length of time before they like things that make sense. You are obligated to read stories to them unless you want them whining about it when they grow up, you are also obligated to surrender at least one of the TVs in your house to the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon for several hours each day.
6) Their Friends
If your kids are normal they will at some point make friends, which means that you will not only have their presence to endure, but an assortment of other people’s failures as well. They will, perhaps, invite them home, at which point you may have to feed these other children, and endure their noise.
7) Constant Illness
Kids, especially when small, are walking petri-dishes. Nothing guarantees repeated stomach-flus, colds, and assorted random illnesses like being in the presence of a small child for hours at a time. Have a co-worker who is always sniffling or running to the bathroom? They either have a cocaine problem or they have a small child.
8)They Attract the Ill-Will of Strangers
Nothing in the world will get you more dirty looks than a poorly trained child. For some reason whole segments of the American population either have not yet had children, or will never have children, these people will not be sympathetic to your plight. Children to them are mere annoying strangers being inflicted upon them by you.
9)Once they are Born you are Pretty much Stuck with them
Under normal circumstances anyway. You don’t get to give them back, you don’t get to pass them on to somebody else short of going to prison or dying. If they are ugly or stupid, you will have to endure them for a long time to come.
10) They are Ungrateful
Kids in America grow up with a sense of being entitled to good parenting, as if it were something they earned in a previous life and have now come to collect. No parent, however is good enough, and they usually cannot find it in themselves to see how much worse it could be. They feel entitled to your time, the contents of your wallet and the remote control. And what do they give back? Maybe you will get to see your grandkids every now and then, and maybe, just maybe, they will pick a good nursing home for you when you are too old to take care for yourself.
< P.S.: I was a very naughty child.a product of the devil himself who dropped me at their hospital bed...a total handful that to this day my mom tells her friends the same thing.Imagine having another me around.>
21 Reasons not to have kids
{ I was preparing quiz questions for my tution kids and I came across this page.Its funny...have a good laugh!}
- For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
- For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
- For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX. Things I've learned from my children
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy, and cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
- For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
- For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
- For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX. Things I've learned from my children
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy, and cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Cooking
Cooking can be such an ordeal at times.How? Every morning you wake up and you start wondering what do I cook today?It might seem stupid to some of you but trust me when you have to cook food the long cut way,you just dont know what to make.
Someone said whats long cut? Thats cooking anything from scratch...no canned stuff or frozen stuff..no what am I saying ! Anything canned or frozen has to be cooked anyway,its just the matter of time anything takes.
You cannot eat dal everyday and veggies everyday..I pity vegetarians but then..the vegetarians are used to eating the veggies and we non veg's..have our own tensions.Cooking healthy is a totally different thing.I dont eat meat very often and that includes chicken..maybe once a week...or sometimes twice.So its basically pulses,grains and what not. Avoiding food that makes you gassy,avoiding food that adds to your never ending calorie intake,etc.
Some fry nuggets or burgers or open tuna tins or eggs or other side dishes to the their daily intake but as Im on the heavy side and thanks to my doctor constantly reminding me that Iam..I have opted out of this easy stuff.Now I have to consider blood sugar,hypertension and obesity when I cook something or eat out.Becomes really difficult!
Then we both are choosy and fussy.My husband wont even eat a dish I've made if it isnt made the way he likes it or not upto the mark.Since Im the kind of person who will eat something they like to the point it starts repelling you and you never touch it for years on end..yeah! Did you just think How fussy,my kid is better?
Now I hate dal,I eat little okra maybe 6 bites at a meal,dont like cauliflower and anything that is mixed with potatoes.I like French fries and that the only way I eat them.I like vegetables lightly boiled with a pinch of salt and pepper.I love bitter gourd and only if they taste bitter after being cooked.
With my husband its just the opposites,he hates veggies boiled,he loves potatoes in any form and with anything.He hates eating cooked carrots,he eats them only raw.He loves cauliflower and okra.He hates noodles in any form and I love them.He hates Chinese,I love it.He hates fish eggs and I love them fried.He will eat eggs everyday and I get nose bleeds if I eat for 2 days straight.I love sweet dishes and my husband doesnt.what I like in sweets,he detests and what he likes,I dont touch.See what I mean? We are complete opposites.
{Wait ! Im just being mesmerised by Randy Orton's stare.gotta watch this WWE match.}
Tomorrow,I have to cook chicken something for a guest we invited over and then probably we all will go out.Have to prepare a to do list for jaanu so he brings all the ingredients,especially the chicken.
Someone said whats long cut? Thats cooking anything from scratch...no canned stuff or frozen stuff..no what am I saying ! Anything canned or frozen has to be cooked anyway,its just the matter of time anything takes.
You cannot eat dal everyday and veggies everyday..I pity vegetarians but then..the vegetarians are used to eating the veggies and we non veg's..have our own tensions.Cooking healthy is a totally different thing.I dont eat meat very often and that includes chicken..maybe once a week...or sometimes twice.So its basically pulses,grains and what not. Avoiding food that makes you gassy,avoiding food that adds to your never ending calorie intake,etc.
Some fry nuggets or burgers or open tuna tins or eggs or other side dishes to the their daily intake but as Im on the heavy side and thanks to my doctor constantly reminding me that Iam..I have opted out of this easy stuff.Now I have to consider blood sugar,hypertension and obesity when I cook something or eat out.Becomes really difficult!
Then we both are choosy and fussy.My husband wont even eat a dish I've made if it isnt made the way he likes it or not upto the mark.Since Im the kind of person who will eat something they like to the point it starts repelling you and you never touch it for years on end..yeah! Did you just think How fussy,my kid is better?
Now I hate dal,I eat little okra maybe 6 bites at a meal,dont like cauliflower and anything that is mixed with potatoes.I like French fries and that the only way I eat them.I like vegetables lightly boiled with a pinch of salt and pepper.I love bitter gourd and only if they taste bitter after being cooked.
With my husband its just the opposites,he hates veggies boiled,he loves potatoes in any form and with anything.He hates eating cooked carrots,he eats them only raw.He loves cauliflower and okra.He hates noodles in any form and I love them.He hates Chinese,I love it.He hates fish eggs and I love them fried.He will eat eggs everyday and I get nose bleeds if I eat for 2 days straight.I love sweet dishes and my husband doesnt.what I like in sweets,he detests and what he likes,I dont touch.See what I mean? We are complete opposites.
{Wait ! Im just being mesmerised by Randy Orton's stare.gotta watch this WWE match.}
Tomorrow,I have to cook chicken something for a guest we invited over and then probably we all will go out.Have to prepare a to do list for jaanu so he brings all the ingredients,especially the chicken.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Today’s Hottest Mobile Offers on Amazon India (Don’t Miss Out)
Best Mobile Phone Deals on Amazon India — Today’s Picks If you're planning to upgrade your phone, now’s a great time to grab a deal on ...
-
Its always a wonderful surprise and an honour to receive an award,especially when it comes from a someone you don't know.Thank you Leo P... -
Eclipsed by Expectations What's most noticeable about Sarah and Mark Holdt of Estes Park, Colorado, is their many differences. "...
-
Those who live in Kuwait know that there is nothing much to see around.There used to be this rock formation in Khiran but now unfortunately ...