Gratefulness

The weather has gotten a bit better today.Until now for a fortnight,it has been extremely humid and hot.Who says weather doesn't affect your mood and well being ! With the slight change in weather came the seasonal flu and cough and that cannot make anything feel no better,no matter how much you are jacked up on antibiotics.

One is just not happy with life isn't it.You would think that a housewife who "doesn't do anything" should be the one who should be happiest,no,it isn't.I'm a housewife with no kids.Not that I hate my life.I always dreamed of being a housewife with a bunch of kids.But I didn't get the latter,so I'm unhappy.Then I have friends,who work and have kids and they hate their life coz they cannot spend quality or quantity of any time for their kids.The very reason they work their asses off.They dream of being there and see them grow.Then you have housewife with kids and they are going crazy watching their kids,spending every waking second listening to the same fights and nagging and they wish they had an alternative life.

In the end human being,being the emotional intelligent being,is just not happy with anything in their life.They always think and dream,things could have been better and more dramatic.

People out there think they never make enough money.But in the realization of "not making making much",one realises they are actually still poor according to the standard norms of which they want to achieve.So they feel depressed and incomplete coz they haven't got there yet.Again no happiness there. then you have people who make buckets of money,but they have rearranged their priorities and lifestyles to such an extent,that they again feel ...it just ain't enough.If only....!

One who is ill feels,if only they were healthier they would change this or that about their life and lead great lives.But people don't.One who healthy will live the laziest ungrateful life coz they feel they are lucky to be so.
We humans are ungrateful,complaining beings.We compete for everything and yet when you achieve something,you feel inadequate.We are so stupid at times to be just be happy for just being.

When I wake up in the morning or before I sleep ,I pray.I pray through all my aches,pains,sadness in my heart and illnesses....I pray actually to God to have mercy on me for making an effort to be grateful for my health and life coz sometimes,I detest everything.I ask him to pardon me for hating everything but even then,I feel I should be grateful.Its actually a conscious effort coz being thankful for life as it is,comes with so much doubt.I assume if Iam grateful everyday in my thoughts,eventually I will be grateful for everything from my heart.

Maybe I need a vacation ...a change of pace of life...a little of enjoying and relaxing.But nothing changes the fact that we as human being are actually very ungrateful.