People in your life.

Most of us who live abroad,have no relatives or family living around us.We are all alone ,the ultimate nuclear family.Its just us and the friends we make over the years.In my life,I haven't lived in joint family.Only when I visited India once in 4 or 5 years,I would spend almost a month with nanima or dadima's home and as usual ,we lived liked guests.The entire month went attending dinners and luncheons and brunches with every known relative.Either we were treating or were being treated to.But as kids,it was the change in atmosphere and environment that held our fascination,not the relatives itself.

Out here,before the first gulf war,my parents would have a lunch parties every Friday.Elaborate meals were cooked,"Rummy" was played,new movies were watched and every gossip was discussed.It would range from movies,to people getting engaged or expecting children and other weekend parties.Even though the cost of living and stuff wasn't expensive,money was one issue nobody considered when entertaining friends.My dad's dialogue," Money comes and goes,money is meant to be spent.Of course,save but don't be a miser when it comes to friends.They are our family out here." The ideology behind it being,one cannot be happy all by our self.No matter what and how much we earn,we need friends or family to be a part our life.They ground us and keep the bonds alive.

Come Gulf war,when we realised who are true friends were,it was one very important lesson to remember.Not everyone will be there for you in times of need and some of the very few wont stop chanting about how they helped you out.I realised,people will take advantage of you whenever opportunity presents and very few people wont.But when people are being offered help,there will be people who instead of getting out of the rut ,will continue to survive on your help as long as they can.That's sad people.Don't do that.

People now, are more concerned about the money and expenses.I know of people who don't have people over coz they fret over the expenses before inviting someone.Its a sad sad world,but I think in the end,its also in the upbringing.What you have learnt over the years on your own and from your family.To be frank,in this economy,money is a concern for me as well.But it can never match up to the happiness I feel when people visit me,laugh and talk and love to be at my home.I feel blessed.Boredom is under check.That's what my husband has taught me over the years.He says,if someone doesn't want to invite us,doesn't matter matter sweety.When people come to our home,it means they love our food,love our company and love us enough to visit us.Its respect and love.Its all about having joy,a kind of stimuli to our otherwise mundane life.

Attithi Devo bhava....many religions and cultures uphold this belief,that people visiting you are in fact God's blessings.Try it ! Have people over.It could be as simple as a tea party.Make fabulous tea,bring a delicious mouthwatering cake or bake one.Make snacks at home if you can or buy some.Doesn't have to be something very elaborate.Its the idea behind it all,having fun with the people in your life.

Strange to see how a good dinner and feasting reconciles everybody.

(Samuel Pepys, 1633-1703, in his Diary)


The hostess must be like the duck calm and unruffled on the surface, and paddling like hell underneath.  (Anonymous)

I have been taken for granted at times,some at the hands of my own.But I always tell myself,one day,it will dawn on them how they used someone and they will hate themselves for it.Anyways,things like these are reflective of the kind of person one is.After all,one can try and hide things from others but not from yourself.

I have had people who just love the fact for the initiative taken to gather all friends and have had people who bicker from the taste to the ingredients,to the way it was cooked and ruin the whole affair.It has made me cynical to some extent and I've learnt how to keep such people in check.But family is something you cant avoid.

Anyways,now that I have been married for 10 years( Yikes! every time I say 10,I feel old and check my age),looking at some of my friends and relatives and family,I have learnt a few life lessons.

1) When you do something for someone,don't wait for a "thank you" or a return of favour.Just do it.

2) Whats goes around,comes around.Be it 10 fold of good or 10 fold of hell.

3) Keep in touch with your family,no matter what.They may not want you in their life 24/7,but be the better person,call and ask about them.

5) Don't let someone treat you like crap.Don't go and kill them either.But seat the other person down,and tell it all frankly and politely.Trust me,it works.No point in back stabbing and gossiping and rotting your mind to hell over it.Speak it out and walk away.Even if they will hate your guts,they will appreciate your frankness ,of course in time that is.

6) Be forgiving.People can do mean things to you at work or home .Don't keep an eternal grudge.Its not good for your heart.When forgiveness is sought,be a darling and forgive.It depends on the deed as well.But forgive in your heart even if you ain't interested in keeping friends with the other.

7) Organise a get together with friends and family,when you have the chance.More than anything,it brings happiness to your heart and mind.Of course,you wont save as much as you usually do but imagine the fun you're gonna have.Its after all,not an everyday thing.

8) Entertaining friends is not about showing off.Be gracious,be respectful.I don't like friends who show that having friends over is such a nuisance,so much work.I do admit that entertaining guests is not an easy task.it involves lots of time,work,cleaning and running around after guests.But only a person who does the same at their own home for others can understand the trouble it all entails.I once stopped talking to a friend coz after all the eating,her complaint was (she insulted me indirectly) that she didn't like the party coz I didn't sit by her side and talk to her and give her time.I was upset over it,I slog my ass off and have so much to do and you complain while I'm trying to divide my time between serving,filling and cleaning.A good guest should also know how to behave at a party.

AWARD

Its always a wonderful surprise and an honour to receive an award,especially when it comes from a someone you don't know.Thank you Leo Paw.Also I would like to apologise that I had received this honour a while back but as the rules mentioned,15 different bloggers had to be nominated and awarded as well,so I had to to postpone it all.

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The rules that are passed on to me along with the award:


1. Nominate 15 Fellow Bloggers

2. Inform the Bloggers of their nomination

3. Share 7 random things about yourself

4. Thank the Blogger who nominated you

5. Add the Versatile Blog Award picture to your blog post

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A few of the blogs that I always read have been handed this award already.So I don't have 15 readers.

Im nominating :-

1. Sujatha Satya - Conversations
2. http://ruchikrandhap.blogspot.com/
3. http://slowingthecircles.blogspot.com/
4. http://jyotimi.blogspot.com/ - by Jyothi Mishra
5. http://doubleexpat.blogspot.com/ - by Gayatri
6. http://irfanurs.blogspot.com/ - by Irfanji
7. http://chintangupta.blogspot.com/ - by Chintan
8. http://sarusinghal.blogspot.com/  - by Saru
9. http://sunitakurup.blogspot.com/ - by Sunita

7 Facts About Me:

a. I'm a sucker for chocolates and have to finish everything that has chocolate on it.

b. One of my fantasy was and still is to dress up like a village belle.Ghagra ,choli,gajra on my hair...like a typical bollywood " gao ki chokri".

c. I have never been scared of lightening's and thunder in my life.On the contrary,I'm sitting with a glass of tea with the windows open and taking pictures.

d. I never tire of sitting on the beach,its that one spot that calms my nerve and takes me to the happy place.

e. I'm not a fan of mobile phones and hate having to use it extensively.I usually answer in monosyllables and terminate my conversations.

f. I'm a fan of flea markets.Throw me in one and I can spend hours provided there is a loo nearby.

g. I have to know the location of every clean toilet at the place I travel.And I actually do.

Birthing

Babies are sent from heaven or are distributed by angels as gifts from God to parents in the hospital.That's what my parents told me when my sister was going to arrive.Most of us are mothers at this point,some to one or more and some still hoping to have one someday.I come in the latter group.But I know that it is one experience every parent hopes to have when they want to bring a living testament of her love into the world.

I have heard my share of birthing stories.Some women say it was like juggling in the arms of death and coming back while some simply put it as the one thing we have to go through to bring our babies.Some love to explain everything in so much detail that you can picture a 3D movie while they narrate it.And some just go,"Well,it was hard work,but no pain ,no gain.I don't regret anything ,I just wanted to see my baby." Its okay to listen to these episodes until it becomes a competition,"I had 3 stitches,but I had 7,I was in pain for a month,but I was in pain for a year,I have a permanent backache,but I cannot function normal again."

Anyways,I'm not going to list these gruelling stories but I just went through this article and thought you would just love it.

Birthing Rituals

Greece, approximately 430 B.C. With the onset of birth, midwives were summoned, and the birthing mother was laid down on a bed. The room was checked to ensure that no knots were present, because ancient Greeks believed knots had maleficent powers and could prevent or delay birth. When labor began the mother was moved to a birthing stool, which she crouched over. The midwives massaged her belly, and one rested below the mother to catch the baby. Once born, the baby and mother were cleansed, as birth blood was considered unlucky. A sign was made on the baby's forehead to protect it from the "evil eye," a superstitious belief that a victim, in this case a vulnerable baby, could be cursed by the malevolent gaze from the eye of an envious individual.

France in the 1700s. Birth for royalty was quite an elaborate affair (a bit like birth for some celebrities in modern times!). After feeling labor pains, the royal lady would call upon her attendants and be laid on a special couch. Some 18th-century remedies that were placed near the mom-to-be included: sneezing powder to aid in birth, almond oil to cleanse the hands of doctor and head midwife, and boxes of powdered cumin and myrrh to dust the infant's umbilical cord. After the birth, the cord was cut and the baby was washed in oil, red roses, and red wine.

China in the late 1800s. For women of the Chinese merchant class, labor pains would come accompanied by the prayers of the mother and mother-in-law for an easy delivery. A Taoist priest would arrive by the bedside and whisper prayers into the birthing mother's ears. With the onset of birth, she would squat on the bed. Once the baby was born, the midwife would cut and bind the umbilical cord, and then try to encourage the placenta to be born. The baby would not be washed for three days, until the influences of evil were less imminent.

Zuni Indians in the 1890s. When labor pains started, the birthing mother would lie on a soft bed made of animal skins and her mother would gather the elder women of the family to aid in the birth. As the pains increased she was encouraged to remain silent; who knew silent birth was not just a ritual of the Church of Scientology! To speed up delivery the laboring woman's mother and birthing doctress would knead her pregnant belly. As the baby made its descent, the women of the family would cry and groan, out of sympathy, for the birthing mother who could not express her pain. As the baby emerged, the doctress would rest below the woman to catch the baby. After the placenta was delivered, the grandmother of the new mother would throw it in the river to be washed downstream. Six days following the birth, the new baby would be introduced to the Zuni gods and be made an official member of the Zuni people.

Polar Eskimos in the 1920s. To prepare for birth, the birthing woman's husband would create a bed in a shallow hole covered by animal skin -- this is where the delivery would occur. When pain began, the woman would rest in the prepared bed and her husband would lean behind her. He would then press down on her abdomen to encourage the baby to be born. Upon birth, the father would cut the umbilical cord with a knife and the new mother would tie a knot to stop the bleeding. The placenta would be wrapped in animal skin and then left outside for animals to feast on. The baby would be named with three names to protect it from evil spirits in the wind and sleep with his or her parents.

Egypt in 19,000 B.C. Belly dancing, often thought of as entertainment for men, is actually a form of ancient dance that reflected the body as a creation of nature and temple of the soul. It was originally a dance performed by women in honor of the giver of life, the Great Mother. The gyrations of the hip were believed to insure the births of future generations, and were used in preparation for birth. The laboring mother would squat low and bear down as she rolled her abs. The contractions of the dancing movements strengthened her abdominal muscles and therefore aided in an easier delivery.

Ancient Malaysia and Indonesia. Women labored sitting up, without medicine for pain relief. Instead, a Dukun, or midwife, would massage the expectant mom. The delivery occurred in the birthing room, traditionally within the house, as it was believed that a baby's first cry was a cry of loyalty and respect for the parents, and should be heard at home. Other mothers stayed in the birthing room with the laboring woman, and offered advice and support (in a similar style of today's labor coaches). Upon birth, the Dukun cuts the cord, bathes and wraps the baby in a blanket. Next, words of Allah were whispered into the baby's ear; for words of faith were supposed to be the first the baby would hear. The baby was then returned to its mother and introduced to the grandparents, which was the first act of honor shown by baby to its family. The placenta was then washed and placed in an earthenware pot with spices and kept near the mother. After 40 days, the family buried the placenta in the ground.
Ancient Hawaii. Among the Kukaniloko Birthing Stones, between the towns of Wahiawa and Haleiwa, ancient Hawaiian women, pregnant with potential royalty, or alii, gave birth. Potential alii could not be delivered like a commoner, without celebration -- today, we see this birth seclusion when celebrities like Britney Spears deliver their children in special hospitals and birthing centers. It is believed the rocks contained powers to ease labor pains. Rituals surrounding the birth of aliis include 48 chiefs beating drums in the announcement of the arrival of the newborns who, in the future, could become chiefs.

Modern women would be surprised to know that a number of birth rituals from the past have been translated into our culture. The art of midwifery, the practice of massaging the pregnant belly during birth, medicine-free births, and the idea of silence during birth are only a few of these rituals. Who knows, these birthing rituals, and others, may continue to be passed through time bonding women from ancient civilizations and future generations together.

Lenape Birthing Practices, 1000 -1650

This modern drawing illustrates various birthing practices and other customs of Lenape women. In Lenape culture, a special hut, separate from the other dwellings, was used by women at times of menstruation and for giving birth. Here women rested while being cared for by other women of the band. Following birth, the child was placed on a flat cradle board by means of which the mother carried the child on her back. The umbilical cord was often buried. According to some Delaware Indians the umbilical cord might be inserted under the bark of a fine young sapling; as the tree grew tall and strong, so too would the child. In this illustration, we see an older woman using a hollow tree-trunk mortar. A knobbed pestle has been suspended from a bent sapling which acts as a spring to help carry the pestle upwards, thus relieving fatigue. Women usually wore only a wrap-around skirt of skin when weather permitted. They decorated themselves with simple patterns, usually by applying a round spot of paint to their cheeks. 

Oranges

I decided to begin 2012 with a healthy note.Now I love oranges.They are a staple in my life.It all began when we were toddlers.My dad wanted us to be healthy,prevent us from nose bleeds because of the intense summers and heaty foods,like so many parents do,so they gave a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice our whole life,everyday that is until we got married and left our nest.Every morning it began with a glass of the holy juice,even before we brushed our teeth.Out of the 3,I was the fussier one and had to be beaten at times,to make me finish a glass of it.I would cry swearing they actually added salt into the juice to make it taste so bitter.How come it didn't taste like sunkist or the juices available in the market?

For a long time,I would just hope that juice wouldn't be squeezed.That my dad would wake up late.Then I got married and ever since the day,I would think of the one thing I never wanted to do.Orange juice.To such and extent,I started buying oranges and buying fresh ones off the store.8 years now and I drink orange like water.Maybe I miss my dad so much that its become like this thing I do in his honor.Every time I drink it,I always think of him and I'm so glad for it.Those were great times.


Anyways,I have been eating clementines for a couple of days and I thought why not put forward some uses of the orange peel.They smell divine and why waste them.So I found some uses of it online.Eating the fruit is beneficial for the vitamin C content.Of course,there are others fruits which have far more Vita C but this is all about the oranges.

1. Puree the orange peel in water to make a spray that will discourage ants from crossing.

2. Flies and mosquitoes don't like orange either. Small piles of zest will help discourage these pests without the use of pesticides! This could really come in handy on a picnic.

3. Simmer peels in water, add a pinch or two of cloves and a cinnamon stick for a wonderful fragrance for your home. Actually, this will help clean the air from airborne cold and flu germs! I do this through the entire winter season!

4. Dried orange peels can be placed in a cloth bag and placed in closets and cupboards to reduce musty odors.

5. A puree blend of orange peel and water can be applied to an area to discourage ants from crossing.

6. Hand moisturizer. Turn the orange inside out and rub the inner part all over your hands for 1-2 minutes. Rinse with lukewarm water. Your hands will smell soooo good after this!

7. Kitchen decor and air freshener. Place the orange peel in a tall glass and leave on the kitchen window sill. It’s a great ‘all natural’ decor and freshens up the room too.As pot pourri.

8. The peels are candied or used as sweeteners in cake or added to sugar syrups.