Colors of my thoughts

I'm tired of adulting. Do you feel the same way too? Heard of stormy rains and floods happening in India and instead of feeling sad, I actually kind of miss the whole shebang, that my good old days as a student. People often say, do not dwell on your past or look back. Work on your present and your future will come out just fine. But I say why not. If me remembering my past brings me peace and joy and a little sadness, why not dwell on it for a while there. having spent my entire life, minus 10 years, in the middle east, my love affair with the rains is something I reminisce always. The prayer bells of my neighbours at 4am in the morning and listening to their puja... The rain beating down on my window... Listening to the sound of drizzle ... The smell of fresh wet earth... Standing on my balcony and looking at all the trees and plants... MAking and drinking hot milk tea and feeling all fuzzy inside... Aaah! What a life it was! I have no complaints with my present lif...

Sometimes I just want to scream out loud... sometimes I want to know if anyone can really see me... Sometimes the pain is too much to bear... As my body shows no signs of repair. It's not fair I kept thinking every night in bed... what has life wanted but haven't said? I crave for love from my own... But they have failed miserably And left me alone. I was brought into this world with love and wantedness But the very same could care any less. I sought to love with my man... And my family put my existence on a ban. And as if that was not enough abuse... Life gave me more challenges to accuse. It told me you are strong and brave... You will but only crave. So now after decades of this so-called life... I'm but an empty hole inside. Now I battle with myself everyday... Wondering what is all this trouble and struggle going to pay... ..................................................................................  I didn't complete my...