Aug 29, 2010

Why are men like that !

What inspired me to write this piece was my husband,who came home yesterday night from completion of phase 2 of his project, with bad heat burns on his entire torso.He did some welding and was in one of his moods ,as it hurt a lot.Today ,he came back early from work,smiling from end to end,coz he got his leave and the medicated cream was finally doing good.

This got me thinking why is he like that? Then I thought - even my brother and dad did so too,so the question popped,why are men like that?

Why -
  • Fart especially around you and you catch them,you will find them smirking away.Is that funny? Is that smell suppose to send me jiggling with laughter? And when you question them,The cliche' response is ,"Hey ! Its a natural thing.Its suppose to happen.God intended it to be so."
  • Their idea of taking you out,could sometimes be,sitting in the car for hours ,while he and his friend are searching for something they feel is is very important and at the end of which,they will change their mind and say it was too expensive anyway.We don't need it that badly.
  • That water, on the kitchen or the bathroom floor is not a big deal.And to top it out,they will walk all over it and leave footprints.
       "  Oops,I didn't notice that ! It doesnt look that dirty?  "
         Like I need to know whats dirty and whats not !
  • Leave a trail of body hair all over the bathroom floor and sink after a shower and a trim.
         Why? What can I do about my hair,its there on my body,its bound         to fall somewhere when I'm naked.
  • They have to be reminded that  their hair has grown long enough and they now need a hair cut.They will sometimes wait (some of them at least) to go finish with the neanderthal phase.
Day 1: Sweetie,go have a haircut?         
           M: OK.

Day 3: Sweetie,you should go in today?  
          M : Yeah I know.

Day 5 : Sweetie,its too shaggy looking now,please go?
          M: Fine,I will see when I'm free.

Day 6: You have to get that haircut dear?
         M: Why are you bugging me everyday...have patience,I'm a busy man.

Day 8 : That's it! You cannot lie next to me with that head of yours.
          M: I'm on my way pumpkin.
  • Hates going to the mall.Why? Because its a place where people go to "line marofy". And why go to places for window shopping when you know you cant afford or want to buy those things?
What the hell is that suppose to mean? what is wrong with window shopping? Whats wrong with ogling and drooling over things you cant buy? At least you can see them first hand right !  Iam saving big bucks,cant you see.
  •  That friends or guests can be invited over for dinner or lunch but nothing in between.
I would love to throw tea parties,juice parties,ice cream parties,what is wrong with that theory? The English do it ,right !  Why does it always have to be a 4 course big meal.Why can we just chill?
M: Because its not polite and doesn't look good serving tea with nibbles.
Me : The freakin' Angrezis do...why cant we !
  • Why does the idea of throwing your clothes into hamper everyday seem wrong?
M : Why do I have to change everyday?
Me: Why are you waiting for fungus and algae to grow on your clothing by wearing it for 3 days in a row? Why cant you smell your perspiration at all? why cant you understand the fact that noticing all that butt scratching,crotch scratching makes me wonder if there are alien organisms in your clothes!
  • Why they don't understand the rituals of a woman's body care and think its bit too much.
Sweetie,lathering your skin with cream and deodorants makes one soft n supple.I do this coz I don't want to appear dry and brittle.I want a nice shiny skin.Other than making myself lush for you,I want to look good for ME.We love to pamper ourselves.If I can do that at home without spending 100s of bucks in the salon,then why not?
  • Why your ideas or suggestions are not that good when given at a  time,their own ideas haven't yet come into their minds yet.
A wife's idea or girlfriends ideas will only be good when the guy has had plenty of his ideas already.How dare we,made from their ribs,be the ones to think of something good and unique first.The manly men think of the best first and then come our ideas.
A couple of days ago,we were thinking about our vacation and when to take leave.I kept on yakking on and on explaining when is the best time to go and the in laws would be ecstatic if we could spend one festival with them.he kept nodding away.Today,he asks me to pull out the calendar and says the same thing again.And in the end,he goes like,"See ! I always think through all details before planning something." And I didn't want to crush him but In my mind I was like,who was I talking to that day...the evil twin?

But he is my sweetheart and I love him to pieces.I'm sure he has so much to pick on in me.

Aug 27, 2010

Diary page of a woman trying to sleep.

Nowadays,my sleep pattern has taken for the worse.I dont sleep when I should and therefore sleep late.But then I dont oversleep but get up early as well.This continues for a couple of days and then one day I hit the pillow and sleep for long periods of time.

First of all,I need to get this thing out of my head.I dreamt a couple of days ago,that I was a handsome man who just started dating this gorgeous woman.So on the day we meet at my primary school premises, where the electricity is absent,she tells me she has a 2 year old toddler.I light a candle and am very happy that I found a readymade family.As I go near the baby and touch his tiny hands,the baby scratches the flesh of it.I scream,the woman aint there at the moment,the kid turns Chucky on me,its hair gets all pointy,its eyes turn all black,the nails turn black and long and the child stands up with the scariest smile and says,"SO you think you can date my mom.Run ,run ,as fast as you can.Hide in those halls but I will find you and chop you into bits."I was so darn frightened,I literally scream into the ears of my sub conscious to wake me up and I did.

So there it is.I hope it doesnt haunt my mind anymore.Now its out there.

Lets move on to the real part of my blog.

I put my husband to bed by midnight.He had to get his beauty sleep as he was planning on leaving very early for work the next day.SO there on my bed I started thinking.At 1 am the comedy videos will begin and at 2 am,HOUSE episode will satrt and finish by 3 am.That was easy.House finished and then suddenly I wanted to drink instant coffee.I woke up and made nescafe and had it.Eventually Im going to fall asleep.Let me check the time.What the hell! Its only 3:20 am.No problem,let me go online and see if anyone has uploaded some pics.NAh !....No interesting comments to comment back on.I shouldnt have finished my Mahjong game so soon.Should have played 1 level per day.But I did play well.SO what If I played 2 of the levels over 50 times to complete it.I dont want use the PC.So I shut it off.

Whats the time! what,its only 3:50 am.Let me watch that arabic serial today.DID Zohra leave her 3rd husband again? Did her first husband sew her for cheating him? What exactly does that dialogue mean? ( egyptian arabic is way different than kuwaiti arabic,cant understand it completely.)Darn,I watched that episode already.MAybe if I get bored,I fall asleep.Nah ! still too boring but not making me sleepy.

What time is it ! Its 4:30 am.Good.Maybe I will fall asleep soon.I must switch the TV off.Maybe then I will have no choice but fall asleep.I switched it off.Now Im talking to myself inside my head.

Suzaan,you should fall asleep,come on,you can do it.You have a lot to do tomorrow.COme on,sleep.Maybe if I count sheep jumping across the fence like they show in the cartoons,I may feel sleepy.1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ,..Hey what time is it now ! Let me check...Surely Its 5 am now.What????? Its 4:50 am.

Closing my eyes,I go into my monologues again.

Maybe Aunty and her family reached Pakistan already.Maybe they wont find the time to rest before the funeral of their grandma.Gosh ! My grandma was so sweet.My dad cried so much when she died.How am I going to cope if something happened to my folks.No,I may not cry for we werent so close.No,I may cry a lot because I missed them so much.SUzaan ! Stop thinking such things.SLeep......Hey ! Im supposed to get my periods soon.When is the date? Let me count quickly and then I will definitely sleep.1 , 2 , 3 , ...crap Its tomorrow.Shish...Let me think real deep...Am I PMSing? Did I start overeating already ? (coz they are one of my positive signs of approaching periods.)  No Im not cranky as such....I didnt yell at my husabnd at all.How would that happen,he wasnt around the whole day ! What time is it ? Let me have a quick peek.5:30 am.

Shut your eyes woman.Okay let me make myself calm....God please give me good sleep. And also good  dreams.Hmmmm....ARe my nails clean? I opened my eyes and checked a few.Before I smack you mad,Put that arm down and go to sleep.ARe you crazy? checking your nails instead of sleeping.Hehehehhe...I should blog about this.....People will think Im crazy.Will you just sleep already.My brain works so much.Im thinking and it has no time to even fall asleep.Oooo...Whats brain dead then? If a person is brain dead,then he is declared legally dead and referred to as a vegetable.Whats a coma then? The heart cannot survive without a functioning brain.Its the heart stops,one is dead,if the brain stops,you're still sort of dead.Good,my brain is hyperactive.What time is it? 6 am.

Got to remove those chunks of ice I put to set in and empty them into my husband thermal ice box.He will wake up in 45 mins and make a lot of noise by filling water and what not ! If I fall into deep sleep  and its ruined again,Im going to be very cranky.Then I got up,filled water into the 2 boxes,filled it with water bottles and soft drinks.He had to take it to work.Then I filled the containers again.I have to make ice for tomorrow but what if My husband just pulls them out of the freezer thinking it is ice and spill water all over the carpet..NAh..I get up after Im done sleeping and then fill them up.

I had to do the whole filling and emptying quitely lest I wake my darling.What time is it? 6:28 am.

I should have rubbed some coconut oil onto my eyelids,maybe I would feel sleepy.Whats that? My back is hurting slightly.My ear feels ticklish.OMG,dont tell Im having an ear infection.Let me move my jaws and see if it hurting.Have I been having ticklish ears for days or was it just now!Darn it ! Im going to take an antibiotic in the evening.But now I must fall asleep.

What am I gonna dream? Wh....a...t  ti.....m....e  i....s  i????????????

Dictionary of a MOM:

BABY: 1) Dad, when he gets a cold. 2) Mom’s youngest child, even if he’s 42.

CARPET: Expensive floor covering used to catch spills and clean mud off shoes.

COOK: 1) Act of preparing food for consumption. 2) Mom’s other name.

DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.

ENERGY: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something.

FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

FROZEN: 1) A type of food. 2) How hell will be like when Mom lets her daughter date an older guy with a motorcycle.

GENIUSES: Amazingly, all of Mom’s kids.

GUM: Adhesive for the hair.

HANDI-WIPES: Pants, shirtsleeves, drapes, etc.

HANDS: Body appendages which must be scrubbed raw with volcanic soap and sterilized in boiling water immediately prior to consumption of the evening meal.

HINDSIGHT: What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.

HOMEMADE BREAD: An object of fiction like the Fountain of Youth and the Golden Fleece.

ICE: Cubes of frozen water which would be found in small plastic tray if kids or husbands ever filled the darn things instead of putting them back in the freezer empty.

INSIDE: That place that will suddenly look attractive to kids once Mom has spent a minimum of half an hour getting them ready to go outside.

“I SAID SO”: Reason enough, according to Mom.

JACKPOT: When all the kids stay at friends’ homes for the night.

JEANS: Which, according to kids, are appropriate for just about any occasion, including church and funerals.

JOY RIDE: Going somewhere without the kids.

JUNK: Dad’s stuff.

KETCHUP: The sea of tomato-based goop kids use to drown the dish that Mom spent hours cooking and years perfecting to get the seasoning just right.

KISS: Mom medicine.

LAKE: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so.

LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of 15 cents.

MAKEUP: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush, etc., which ironically make Mom look better while making her young daughter look “cheap.”


MILK: A healthful beverage which kids will gladly drink once it’s turned into junk food by the addition of sugar and cocoa.

OCEAN: What the bathroom floor looks like after bath night for kids, assorted pets, two or three full-sized towels and several dozen toy boats, cars and animals.

OPEN: The position of children’s mouths when they eat in front of company.

OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mom’s nickname for Dad.

PENITENTIARY: Where children who don’t eat their vegetables or clean their rooms eventually end up, according to Mom.

PETS: Small, furry creatures which follow kids home so Mom will have someone else to clean up after.

PURSE: A handbag in which Mom carries the checkbook and keys she can never find because they’re buried under tissues, gum wrappers, a plastic container full of cereal, toys from a fast-food restaurant, a teddy bear, a football, wallpaper samples, a grocery list and several outdated coupons.

QUIET: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.

SOAP: A cleaning agent Mom puts on the sink on the off-chance one of her kids will accidentally grab it while reaching for the towel.

SPIT: All-purpose cleaning fluid especially good on kids’ faces.

SPOILED ROTTEN: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma.

TROUBLE: Area of nonspecific space a child can always be sure to be in.

UMPTEENTH: Highly conservative estimate of the number of times Mom must instruct her offspring to do something before it actually gets done.

UNDERWEAR: An article of clothing, the cleanliness of which ensures the wearer will never have an accident.

WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.

WASHING MACHINE: Household appliance used to clean blue jeans, permanent ink markers, loose change, homework, tissues and wads of gum.

“WHEN YOUR FATHER GETS HOME”: Standard measurement of time between crime and punishment.

“YIPPEE!”: What Mom would jump up and shout if the school year was changed to 12 months.

Aug 24, 2010

Festivals that scared us.

I was on facebook and one of my friend had posted a Happy Raksha Bandhan on it.I actually started laughing because it reminded me of the good old days of college.Come Rakhi day and the boys would sweat at the sight of a good looking girl,wondering if she will wish me happy rakhi or worse tie one,and that would be the end of his fantasy.I never had that problem coz I was sort of a guy.:>.Anyways,we did have some chicks in our class and it was fun to see the manly men avoiding girls during breaks and what not.

Then when I came to college,it was a totally different sight.Our college gates were the only visible thing from the outside.The main temples of study were located way inside.Firstly,you had the schools,then high school ,then Library and then the college classrooms.Since we were all women's college,we were surrounded by the opposite sex at all times outside our college.

When you are between the ages of 17 - 21,you start prancing around like a peacock.The peacock should have been a female.Either its gay or something went wrong in its evolution.You,as in college girl, will dress up well at all times except when there are exams.You are actually  motivated to wear something different or look better or cooler everyday.You will wear makeup,you will look fresh ,no matter how scorching the weather maybe.The latest in salwar kameez coz our college had a strict policy for anything above knee length or pants of any sorts.

There was this tiny joint outside our college famous for egg puffs and veg puffs and maybe chicken too.Half of the ladies from our college ate there.They would stand in the heat if they had to,but there was something about those puffs and cold drinks.It was just around the end of the road and the guys would come in their flashy bikes or few of them I guess borrowed cars for this joyous safari ride.You could see guys packed in cars.2 guys on a bike.Wearing Sunglasses,jeans,Tee's,etc.I guess like the girls,they too splashed a little dough on their t-shirts and jeans and not forgetting the cash for the diesel or petrol or whatever went into their rides.In that one hour of break ,you would see the same car and vehicles and the people in them circling so many times,you knew their number plates even.At that age,a smile from an older man or guy of weird sorts,all ,would bring glee in one's hearts and an automatic returnfire smile.

Come raksha Bandhan day,the traffic would be light.You wouldnt have road jams.A few guys who did still circle around,would make sure they were deaf for that day.It was peaceful actually.You could cross the road without wondering which guy's car you will come under coz his eyes arent on the road.I was amazed at how seriously this day was revered by the boys actually.I had a Rakhi brother too.He was a nice guy.We havent been in touch for years but he is a great guy.

Then we had Rose day.OMG,this day was actually a competetion.Every girl was your enemy.The girl who walked in with roses in her hand before she entered the college campus meant,she was considered hot by her many fans out there.No rose was too expensive,even if in the end,the guy threw that rose on a girl who didnt even see you ride away.I was actually intrigued and would actually observe with my girlfriend, who got how many.In the lunch break,the roads would be packed.There used to be hawaldars if im not mistaken to smoothen the traffic out.Back then I knew of 2-3 girls who almost every guy outside our campus had the hots for.They had good figures and wore clothes that showed their curves.They were slim,streaked their hair and had time to wear makeup.Oh,they would walk out,and the horns honked away,slight whistling here and there,lots of ogling and lots of pollution.Carbon monoxide expulsion was at its best this day.

Those were indeed good old fun days.Now, it takes an axe to the head or bucket of tears for that ogling,smiling to happen from the husband.I did have a neighbour who flashed me a charming smile every now and then ,but I never encouraged him at no point.Being the Bharatiya Nari that Iam,I couldnt give dhokha to my pati.(exceptions are dreams)

My husband does tease me or give me a naughty smile when we are in public,and i love that.But if I even mention that some guy,looked at me wrong for 2 secs,he transforms into ,no ! not a transformer,but into Yamraj.The dialogue will go like this,
" Kidher hai wo? Kaun hai wo? Tumne pehle kyu nahi bola? Kya kiya usne? {MEanwhile he is staring around like as if he has rabies,which actually scares the crap out of me}Kaun hai wo kamina,maa-der-chut,sharam nai athi...auratho ki koi izzat hi nai karta."

I know how angry he can get,he beat up 5 guys once and it  was a mess of cops and fines.And we were sort of dating at the time.Now I just cant let him do that.So I take care of myself.I give my Kaali Maa stare and yell in arabic and no one dare approach me.

Iam famished and have cooking to do and 2 hours to go before I break my fast.

Aug 23, 2010


DO you have friends who are always under the impression,that no matter what you tell them,you are telling them out of jealousy.Hatred is understood so is anger.But why do people have envy at the back of their mind.Some people like to have constant good evaluations done about them and some just think they are the creme de la creme of just about everybody and everything.

Now the creme de la creme group of people.These are people you will find amongst family members and distant friends.We wouldnt make them are friends, right ? No one likes to be looked down upon or sneered at !We wouldnt like to be constantly belittled in their presence.

These are people who are doing well and live "the life".They have their own exclusive club.Appearances mean everything be it the clothes on their body or the things in their house or in what they utter at all public moments.They belive that everyone who isnt in their radar,is inferior or worth having around.What they are going to do,or where they are going to go or what they are wearing ,and so on and so forth,are things everyone will know well beforehand.They are made known as honourable mentions at parties or get togethers.The purpose being to infuse envy,which gives them a feeling of  profound regard.But I think,this means something else is lacking in your life which makes you want some sort of assessment.Which is in the form of people 's reaction.I think other's envy sort of pep's them up.

Now,another group of people you will come across who need praise at all times to get going.

I love praises and accept them from very few.It could be my superiors at work.It could be my husband.It could be from someone I love dearly.But not from anyone else.Im not good at accepting compliments because I feel the other person is saying just for the heck of it or is saying it sarcastically.Im not generous at giving them either coz I think they should be given only when deserved.

No,the people Im talking about are the ones who coerce you into giving a compliment or say something nice.They put you on the spot in front of others.MAybe its like "I shapat,mene tho sunkar hi rehna hai." It could someone who did some shopping and are showing it to you for your opinion.It could be someone who invited you for dinner or any meal and you are expected to comment on their cooking skills or the time and effort gone into pulling it off inspite of their oh so"Im so busy to even find a breath " schedule.What are the rest of us doing? HAving our maids follow us around and clean after us.

I was once invited for dinner to a friend's place for the first time.Im a fan of real spicy food.SHe made bland food but it was good.If you have cooked well,your guests or family will be cleaning the pots out with their tongue.If it isnt,you are bound to find leftovers of large proportions.This should speak for itself.But she kept on asking us over and over again."Wasnt the food good? Didnt it taste great? You know i put this many hours of work into it? "

What is one to reply to this ! I told her it was good but she kept expecting exotic words of praise from me and put me in the spot.

Then i have another friend,who will always ask me " how do i look?" after she has dressed up.Or when she comes visiting.You got ready in front of a mirror right,why ask others.If you look great,you will be told so .

I love when my husband says something nice but he never says so.When I cook something upto his liking,he will plainly say,"Lagta hai dil laga ke banaya hai." Which means the food is awesome babe.When he doesnt comment on how I look,that means its ok.If he comments,its usually to say the outfit isnt tailored right.He told me he likes the color blue on me after 5 long years.He thinks that specifying what he likes would mean he is imposing on me.

Well,my frankness is misconstrued as rudeness.My aloofness as too much pride.My moodiness,well as moodiness.

Aug 18, 2010

Message sent by your Body!

Our actions (body language) reflects our interest in various ways. In general, these actions manifest by instinct when we are facing people that we admire. For example, in intimate conversation, people usually look at each other's eyes. Sometimes we shift our vision from one eye to the other, and to the bridge of the nose. Some say that it’s rude to look at a stranger’s body, but when you really think about it, people really can’t help it when they feel attracted. When people are talking to mere acquaintances, they simply look at their eyes, but when people are interested in someone, they tend to notice a lot more than just the eyes and the nose. Also... looking at the someone's mouth can suggest interest in kissing.

When two people enjoy similar things, they tend to move in sync with each other. This does not mean that every single move they make is exactly the same, but rather that their moods are the same.

When people are interested in the person they’re talking to, they tend to face the person more. This is also noticeable in a person’s arms and legs. When a person’s attention is completely focused on another, their legs, knees, or feet are always extended in the direction of the other person. Another common signal are the pupils of our eyes. When people like what they see, their pupils increase in size, and tend to blink more. Eyes can blink in sync when looking into the eyes of the person they like.

Male Body Language and Flirting

Aside from general body language, there are also signs specific to males and to females when they show their interest in a potential mate. When a man notices a woman he finds attractive, he may suck in his gut, flex his muscles, and other postures that cause him to appear taller and stronger.

A man shows his readiness to get involved by putting his hands on his hips, or putting his thumbs behind his belt. Most men do this to appear macho and posed, but a commonly unknown fact is that this action also highlights the genital region sending the message:

“I’m virile.”

Men do other things like smoothing their hair, and fixing ties, to make them look their best. Men do these while women are watching to show their interest.

The actions of women, on the other hand, are more subtle but very sexy in the eyes of men. A woman can make a man desire her more by exposing the skin of her neck.

Female Body Language and Flirting

When a woman tosses her hair from one side to the other, the gesture appears more intentional, and is often followed by a well directed intimate gaze.

The same thing goes when a woman exposes the thin skin on her wrist. Both actions appeal to men saying, “I want to show you more.” Women can very well play with men’s minds by doing little things like wiping off their sweat, and fondling with their hair, fingers, and feet.

The most appealing sign a woman can give is to sit with one leg pressed on top of the other. This gesture makes the legs appear very well toned. A hand on the thigh completes the position and is definitely considered a call for the attention.


Now Im going to say how i used to flirt.I actually didnt know I was but when I read some books and articles ,like millions I too didnt know I flirted.

For the life of me,I cannot fake interest in anyone's yakking if I dont like what they're talking about.That has been my weakpoint and people can see through me when Im faking interest.I cannot laugh at jokes if I dont find them funny.I have seen many people easily mask a smile or laugh as if they heard the joke of century but Since I cant fake it ,I can spot a faker very easily.

Now When I liked a cute guy,I tend to smile more often or shy away a tiny smile looking the other side.Iam a hands person,meaning I will use my hands to gesture in the air while talking and I touch people's arm.I do this unknowingly and am not aware of my actions or impact.

I'll use my eyes a lot and blink and flutter them a lot when Im talking to someone interesting.Now I never adjusted my boobs or my legs or cleavage or anything like that to get attention.Giving off even a hiff a desperation isnt my style coz I always think,if Im really appealing,someone will attend to me without me doing the peacock dance.

Now I know girls wear skimpy outfits or reveal little skin as an invitation and thanks to the fashion industry,all dresses in the market are made just for that.To allure the opposite sex.

Iam an old fashioned kinda gal : Nazrein mili,dil dhadka aur pyar ho gaya.I never dated anyone for money or looks.Im a bit shallow though.I hate curly hair in men.The curlier they are,the more I avoid them.That would include intensive all around acne and someone who cannot communicate in english.I did like someone who couldnt speak english but I was 14.At that age,even a chaprasi is all mighty and handsome and worth being the father of your many children.So you see,Im not an angel as well.

I did ask my husband a couple of times as to what attracted him to me and 5 yrs into our marriage,he gave me a very brief answer.That I was straight forward,dont lie ,have a firm head over my shoulders and am an empathizer.When I smiled from one corner to another,he said thats enough.The part of not knowing every little detail holds its own charm or else you're gonna be flying with wings and horns.

Aug 16, 2010

The Potty Predicament and The Perfect Parent

I bought a potty for my son before he turned a year old. It was one of the colorful, deluxe models with removable parts, a front- loading plastic bowl, and sure-grip sides. I’d been having glorious visions almost since I left the delivery room, of my brilliant progeny fully trained and diaper- free by 18 months... heck, make that 15 months.

We’d be the envy of all my friends, whose deficient toddlers remained untrained at age two. I kept the commode in the closet for a few weeks, not wanting to place unrealistic expectations on my son. When I finally placed it, with much fanfare, in the bathroom, the child seemed delighted-- he examined it closely, giggled and squealed while I beamed as I planned how to spend the money I’d save on diapers.

Over the next few months, however, the potty was transformed into a nagging symbol of intergenerational warfare. The first skirmish -- over positioning -- raged throughout the house and left me exhausted and demoralized. I would place the potty in the bathroom, only to return a few hours, minutes, or even seconds later to find it missing.

Soon thereafter, the potty’s various parts would begin turning up in the closets, under my bed, in my husband’s underwear drawer, in the backyard sandbox – even once floating in the birdbath. The bowl -- the very heart of the contraption -- was chewed on, colored on, used to collect toys, books, hairpins even feminine hygiene products carelessly left within reach. Something about the seat aroused my son’s creative energies.

Inexplicably, it elicited intricate crayon drawings and doubled as a playpen for his stuffed animals. As his strength, coordination, and evil intent grew, this fruit of my womb figured out how to fill the bowl from the bathtub, which he then carried around and slowly drained in a trail of carpet- soaking spots. Eventually, despite my inadequate strategy, I won the battle by attrition. My son became bored.

The potty, now looking like a fourth-generation hand-me-down, remained in the bathroom. I took this as a hopeful sign and launched a campaign to wear down his resistance. Every hour on the hour, I dragged him, kicking and screaming, into the bathroom. First, I tried literary inducements to get him to sit on the potty. I’d read his favorite stories over and over, speaking in an animated tone designed to capture his attention. Next, I ventured into singing -- his favorite was John, Jacob, Jingleheimer, Schmidt. My voice would careen around the words, faster and faster, as if I could create some kind of gravitational force that would pull down his little posterior.

No luck. One of my well-meaning, if misguided, friends insisted that boys need a target to aim at, so I filled the potty with water and then dumped in half a bag of Cheerios, hoping to challenge his competitive instincts. I caught him scooping the soggy circles out with his hand and cramming them into his mouth. That’s when I invoked the dreadful specter of peer pressure. Do you want to be the only two-year-old you know who’s still in diapers, I asked, almost weeping at the prospect. But it didn’t work, my boy was impervious to public opinion.

His second birthday came and went, and I began to lose sleep, picturing my son at his high school graduation in Huggies, size extra extra large. Reluctantly, but feeling desperate, I played my trump card -- bribery -- promising him candy for each successful use of the potty. His eyes gleamed with sweet anticipation, but still, the kid wouldn’t give in.

Finally, frustrated beyond words, I resorted to coercion, holding him, squirming furiously, on the potty. I only did it once. He deliberately pointed his penis up and baptized me with all of a child’s righteous indignation at my unjust use of force. He began to have terrible stomachaches because he would not allow himself to have a bowel movement. I cried along with him, begging him to let his "poo" come out. I explained in a sanguine, Mr.Rogers voice that his poo was sad because it had to come out all alone in his diaper, but if he’d let it out in the potty, he could flush it down to play happily with all the other "poos." He eyed me with a forbearance, but -quite literally -- continued to hold his own.

Worried that he was poisoning his insides, I started putting a Pull-up on him every evening at the same time. As soon as it was on, he’d slip quietly into his room and close the door. Once or twice, I peeked through the door to see what he was doing. He’d place his hands on the foot of the bed, feet a straddle as if he were water skiing. Next I’d hear a series of grunts. In a few minutes, he’d emerge, shame-faced. "Mommy" he’d say, with a telltale aroma trailing him, "I pooed." I’d let out a heavy, pained sigh and shake my head as if he’d just confessed to crimes against humanity.

As the three-year mark approached, and I saw my son upstaged by other, younger children who pranced proudly to the potty, I became truly depressed about this maternal failure. Despondently, I deployed my final weapon. I put away the potty and bought a large supply of Pull-ups. When my son informed me that he needed to be changed, I acted deliriously happy, never once even mentioning the toilet and its uses.

After all those agonizing months, this strategy succeeded in exactly two days. The demon seed I’d previously considered my son, started using the toilet as if he’d been doing it all his life. Now, more than a year later, I can’t get him out of the bathroom. He has in-depth conversations with himself or an imaginary friend. (I haven’t quite figured out which) while he’s defecating, ranging from a soliloquy on the makeup of the solar system to what sounds like a verbal tour of his more interesting body parts. Walking by the bathroom one day, I heard him say, "Would you like to see what a penis looks like?" Dazed, I continued down the hall, wondering what I’d created.

I used to be a perfect parent. I had strong opinions about the best ways to raise a healthy happy, well-mannered child. I vowed that my children would appear well-groomed and clean at all times, they would be disicipline by firm, fair, and consistant parenting techniques, and they would always, always be well-behaved in a restaurant. And when they were older, I would instill a sense of self-confidence and mutual respect by showing them that I valued their opinions and by treating them as equals. My ideas were so straightforward and simple that I couldn't understand why other parents couldn't be as perfect as I was. Then I had two children.

I used to think that any mother, whose child was inappropriately dressed and had Kool Aid stains around his lips before eleven o'clock in the morning, was obviously an unfit parent who spends her days talking on the phone -- and who serves fruit loops and popsicles for breakfast.

My opinion changed when my two-year old daughter decided that she no longer wanted to wear clothing in public. One minute she'd be in her stroller, fully dressed, innocently sucking on a pacifier in her stroller. And the next, she'd be waving at strangers wearing only a diaper and her pair of red patent leather shoes. The first few times this happened I kept putting her clothes back on - only to have them thrown at me again two seconds later. After several days of struggling to keep her fully dressed, I finally decided that it would be less stressful and much faster if she just started out naked when we left the house.

I also used to think that parents who let their children watch cartoons, instead of doing enriching activities together like reading, lacked self discipline and motivation. This was before my son turned three and I began daydreaming about how great it would be if he stopped making big messes around the house and did nothing but watch television. There would be no toys to pick up, no play doh to peel out of the carpet and no crayons to take out of nostrils. Besides I figured if he got really hooked on a few afternoon cartoons I could finally get some chores done around the house.

Before I had children I was going to be a good, health-conscious parent. My family would only eat organic produce and dairy products, fresh fruit, yeast free bread, and un-medicated, free range turkey. Sugar would never, ever touch their lips.

I changed my mind the first time I took my toddler to the grocery store by myself and she refused to bend her legs so she could fit into the front seat of the shopping cart. "If you get in the cart Mommy will give you part of the nice candy bar she has in her purse." I whispered desperately in her ear.

This tactic worked well until she had eaten all of the candy. Then she decided the trip would be much more interesting if she got out of the cart and flung all of the food off of the shelves as ran down the aisles. So I did what any other modern, educated mother would do: I desperately started tossing junk food into the cart. I mentally calculated that one box of mini donuts should be enough to get me through the dairy section and halfway through produce. The caramel corn should last through frozen food and the entire paper product section, and the Tootsie Pop sucker should give me enough time to get through the register, out the door and back to the car.

As the cashier began ringing up my cartful of empty junk food boxes it became clear that the one thing preventing me from being a perfect parent -- were my children.

Now when my children go into public I want to stop people and let them know that I am really a good parent. I want to tell them that my son is eating a popsicle for breakfast because he is going through a phase where he will only eat blue food and I'm running out of options. He has a dirty dishtowel tucked into the back of his shirt because he thinks it's a cape and today he wants to be Batman. And my daughter is wearing her bathing suit with a pair of cowboys boots because she picked out her own outfit and she thinks the leather tassels go great with the pink netting on her skirt.

And when I yell things like " because I'm the Mommy and I said so that's why!" I really mean "I can understand your desire, but it is my duty as a concerned mother to constantly look out for your best interest".

Sometimes I wonder how it would feel to appear in public with two orderly, quiet children with immaculate faces and clean clothes. I could shop without anyone repeating "can I have a big pretzel now, Mommy" every three seconds like some sort of hypnotic mantra. Maybe I could even stop to look at something. Or enter a store, get only what I actually need, then leave!

But I have a feeling my life wouldn't be nearly as exciting. Besides, my children have taught me that being a good parent has a lot more to do with patience, commitment, and understanding -- than looking perfect.

And now, when I see a mother with a child who is happily meandering behind her eating a Twinkie, and wearing wrinkled dinosaur pajamas and a pair of swim fins, I no longer think she's an unfit parent -- I know that she is just doing the best that she can.

Facts of Life

By Sallie Mattison Young

So there we were, my husband and I, stealing a few quick smooches behind the open refrigerator door, when Ariel, 10, catches us.

"Eeeuuwww, gross," she said, giggling. "You guys were kissing!" Emily, 7, came up behind her, eyes wide with interest.

Not wanting them to go into that "kissing is mushy" routine, I've always believed the best defense is a good offense; so I said, "Well, just exactly how do you think you two got here, anyway?"

Emily rolled her eyes, then explained very patiently, "We GOT here when we moved from our old house to this new house!"

You Know You're a Mom When...

...Your feet stick to the kitchen floor and you don't care.

...the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.

...You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.

...You spend an entire week wearing sweats.

...Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.

...Popsicles become a food staple.

...Your favorite television show is a cartoon.

...Peanut butter and jelly is eaten at least in one meal a day.

...You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on.

...Your baby's pacifier falls on the floor and you give it back to her after you suck the dirt off of it because you're too busy to wash it off.

...You value sleep above all else.

...Your kids make jokes about farting, burping, pooping, etc., and you think it's funny.

...You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!

...Spit is your number one cleaning agent.

...You're up each night until 10 PM vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping picking up, changing sheets, changing diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding (them, not you), PLUS swinging, playing baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls, rollerblading, basketball, football, catch, bubbles, sprinklers, slides, nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking the dog.

...You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, yet you still managed to gain 10 pounds.

...In your bathroom there is toothpaste on the light fixtures, water all over the floor, a dog drinking out of the toilet and body hair forming a union to protest unsafe working conditions.

...You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.

...The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making Rice Krispie bars

...You eat your dinner on dinosaur-decorated placemats

...You catch yourself singing the "Barney" theme song -- in public.

...You take phone messages in crayon

...You buy jelly according to the characters on the jar.

...You know the best way to scrape dried Cheerios off the floor.

...You don't own a single store-bought Christmas tree ornament

...You share the storage closet with a miniature broom and vacuum cleaner.

...You always buying the big pack of batteries-- but you can never find one when you need one.

Some Funny things !

I found this article online and found it to be almost truthful and funny at the same time.See if you share the same feeling and please dont be offended in any way.

Why Breed?

Reasons given : I can’t help it, it’s a biological urge.

Real reasons  : Unexamined motivations.

Suggested alternatives  : Institutions await those who can’t control

                                    their biological urges.

Reasons given : Want to give our parents grandchildren.

Real reasons : Still seeking parental approval.

Suggested alternatives : Live your own life and encourage your parents to do the same.

Reasons given : I just love children.

Real reasons : Out of touch with inner child, and with existing children.

Suggested alternatives : Adopt, step, and foster parenting.

Big Brother/Sister. Work with children, teach.

Reasons given : I have superior human genes.

Real reasons : Doesn’t recognize an oxymoron.


Suggested alternatives : Do great things with your genes, rather than expecting the next cultured batch to do it.

Reasons given : Need help on farm or in family business.

Real reasons : Too cheap to hire help.

Child labor laws inconvenient.

Suggested alternatives : Mechanization gives faster return on investment.

Reasons given : Want someone to care for me in my old age.

Real reasons : Fear of aging.

Exploitative personality.

Suggested alternatives : Save money and prepare for retirement. Be nice to people so they will visit you in the home.

Reasons given : Pregnancy and childbirth are life experiences.

Real reasons :  Life choices limited by social indoctrination.

Suggested alternatives : Rent pregnancy simulator. Choose different life experiences.

Reasons given : A good family is essential to career advancement and strong standing in the community.

Real reasons : Social insecurity. Wants trophy children to improve social status.

Suggested alternatives : Rent children from talent agency on special occasions. Have white picket fence installed.

Reasons given : We want to create a life which embodies our love for each other.

Real reasons : Ego, times two, minus imagination, equals three plus.

Suggested alternatives : Garden. Adopt a stream, trail, or hiway. Rescue animals. Protect & restore ecosystems to embody love.

Reasons given : I want my kids (who don’t exist yet) to have all the things I didn’t have.

Real reasons : Unfulfilled childhood desires and fantasies.

Suggested alternatives : Deal with regrets & make best of life. Provide for existing children.

Reasons given : To carry on family name.

Real reasons : Trying to please Dad.

Duped by bloodline superstition.

Suggested alternatives : Create something enduring & give it family name. Donate blood to pass on bloodline.

Reasons given : Want to see a little me.

Real reasons : Self-absorption. Lack of ego gratification.

Suggested alternatives : Order custom-made, life-like doll.

Create a gratifying life of your own.

Reasons given : God wants us to.

Real reasons : Mindless obedience to dogma peddlers who want larger flocks.

Suggested alternatives : Seek true nature of God, whatever you perceive God to be.

Reasons given : My wife/husband wants a baby.

Real reasons : Giving in out of fear of losing partner.

Suggested alternatives : Communicate true desires. Spouse may feel you’re the one who wants to breed. Rent baby simulator doll.

Reasons given : Want a child with our bloodline.

Real reasons : Ego extension. Racial identity.

Suggested alternatives : Recognize value of people with different genetic makeups.

Reasons given : It’s a spiritual thing for me.

Real reasons : Other reasons too easily refuted.

Suggested alternatives : Find truly spiritual experiences.

Reasons given : I’ve always wanted to have children, it’s what people do.

Real reasons : Unquestioned cultural conditioning.

Suggested alternatives : Consider alternatives. Question expectations. Adopt.

Reasons given : To cement our relationship.

Real reasons : Fear of failed marriage.

Suggested alternatives : Communicate to strengthen relationship. Attend retreats for bonding couples.

Reasons given : I love babies.

Real reasons : Short-sighted view of reality.

Suggested alternatives : Babies soon turn into children, then adults. Infant care work is available. Life-like infant doll may help.

Reasons given : Being a mother is a woman’s highest calling.

Real reasons : Beguiled into believing compliance is noble free choice.

Suggested alternatives : Motherhood, and fatherhood, may be achieved without breeding. Many children wait for good homes.

Reasons given : My child could find a way to save the world.

Real reasons : “Mother of God” complex. (Also applies to men).

Suggested alternatives : If you want something done right, do it yourself.

Reasons given : We’d like to try for a boy/girl this time.

Real reasons : Ego extension. Gender identity insecurity. Dissatisfaction with existing offspring.

Suggested alternatives : Appreciate who you have, they might resent their sibling whose gender is preferred.

Reasons given : I just want to.

Real reasons : Just wants to.

Suggested alternatives : Choosing to breed precludes most other things you’ll just want to do.

Reasons given : I want someone who will love me and not leave me.

Real reasons : Fear of rejection. Unresolved relationship issues.

Suggested alternatives : Give love to get love. Accept change and deal with loss.

Reasons given : Our economy needs young workers to replace retired workers.

Real reasons : Willing to sacrifice offspring to gods of National Economy.

Suggested alternatives : Automation reduces need for wage slaves. Consider rights of unconceived to stay that way.

Reasons given : The world needs more of us or we’ll be outnumbered.

Real reasons : Elitism. Xenophobia. Eugenics easier to conceal than genocide.

Suggested alternatives : Convert others to your views so there’ll be one more of your kind and one less of Them.

Reasons given : We may as well, the planet is doomed anyway.

Real reasons : Nihilistic natalism.

Suggested alternatives : Consider ethics of sentencing an innocent person to life, and death, in ecological collapse.

Reasons given : I’d like to achieve a sense of immortality.

Real reasons : Fear of death and non-existence.

Suggested alternatives : Accept mortality. Spread memes not genes. Socrates’ heirs are not apparent, but his ideas linger strong.

Reasons given : My biological clock has gone off.

Real reasons : Women’s normal heightened sexual desire in 30s & 40s difficult to accept in puritanical societies.

Suggested alternatives : Disarm that culturally-implanted mental time bomb. It’s okay to make love and not babies.

Reasons given : I don’t know.

Real reasons : Never thought about it. Unthinking conformity.

Suggested alternatives : Think before you breed, and you might not.

Reasons given : I might regret not having had the experience later, when it’s too late.

Real reasons : Fear of future worries and life passing too fast.

Suggested alternatives : We can’t experience everything. Far better to regret not breeding than to regret breeding

Reasons given : I do not want to deny my kids (who do not exist yet) the joy of existence.

Real reasons : Ignoring lack of joy in existing children.

Suggested alternatives : Promote existence of joy rather than imagining joy in mere existence.

Reasons given : Procreation has traditionally been a source of personal empowerment for women.

Real reasons : Feels powerless. Desires power and respect society appears to give to mothers and withholds from others.

Suggested alternatives : Mothers get more lip service than respect. Picking up family’s slack is not empowering. Seek self-defined sources of power.


Today the show On "The Doctors" was about longevity.What is the secret of long life? And every centenarian said,that the key was Happiness.Yeah ! it sounds so cliche' but there is truth to it alright.When you have done what you could and when you could,you come to a point when you dont want to dare yourself to doing something exhilarating.Especially when you're past 80 yrs old.

Some pointers were,being surrounded by friends and family.A happy family and happy friends.A good social network at home or outside leads to good life experiences.Eating a handful of nuts 4 times a  week,be it a kid or adult is good for the body and also a key to longevity.A couple giving time to one another without interfernce every now and then is a key to happy marriage and so good life.HAving family dinners or meals together as family is good as it leads to people eating less,conversing more and therefore being a part of each and everyone's life.Women tend to live 10 - 15 yrs more than men.Because of the hormone estrogen and XX chromosomes.

Eating chocolate that contains 70% cocoa or more is good for the heart.Lindt makes good ones.Dark chocolates arent that great.They cant compete with milk chocolates but then I have learnt to prefer healthy substitutes with the dawn of aging.

Natural exercise was also considered a major point.Natural exercise meaning going for long walks in parks,in open areas or hiking.Something that involves you and nature and not a 60 kg metal machine in between.

Thats all I have now coz my aunty called me in between and I landed chatting up with her and the show finished.

Bye !

Aug 14, 2010

Ramadan Day 4

LAtely,after opening fast,I have been eating a lot.Every time I put a morsel into my mouth ,I keep wondering if this will add some pounds on me.I did lose a little weight a while ago and I plan on continuing to do so.Its given me this mild will power to keep my weight on check.Gaining even half a kg would throw all efforts into the loo.

Today,my husband will open his fast at work and Im left on my own to open at home.I plan on something simple.Some instant noodles with eggs and ham,some water melon,and tea with muffins.My husband is a foodie and when he is at home,he tends to fry tons of things and then I find it too hard to resist.

I didnt even know today was a saturday and I have been waiting for the kids to drop in like forever.This is the second time I have lost count of the days.Since my husband works on weekends as well ,I have totally lost touch with what date and day it is.

3 more hours to go and Im feeling a bit hungry.ANd am having a headache.I wish I could just fall asleep but since Im the napping a lot kind,I have no choice but to be awake and feel my body asking for food.

I probably may cook dal and rice in the evening.Lets see,right now I just cant think of food.And since food is whats on my mind,I cant think of anything else.

Aug 12, 2010

First day Of Ramadan

I thought I would feel the pangs of hunger but for some reason,I didnt feel anything during the day.Maybe because I had a muscle spasm on half my buttock,I couldnt concentrate on anything but my half side.I gave tutions and thats when I started getting headaches.Come on,am used to drinking 6-8 mugs of black tea a day and not able to start off your day with one can be pretty ugly.I tend to get very snappy,irritated and If I lose my temper ,I just want to bite someone's head off.

Also,we had invited a couple of friends over and my husband cooked everything.I couldnt even run to the loo if I started dripping pee.He made pakodas of various vegetables and egg.He cooked kheema stuffed in karela with white rice.He made massar dal,made lassi.I felt so bad that I couldnt help him out but he loves to cook and cater to friends.They do the same for us ,so why not!

Now the kids,all they saw was I towering over their books and teaching them.And Uncle slogging in the kitchen.Within half an hour of their departure,both their parents called up to ask,what was being cooked and that he was slogging in the kitchen.No ,the kids didnt say that aunty couldnt move but she managed to teach anyhow but they felt sad for uncle,who was slaving away ,while aunty just sat in front of us.Its really strange,when men do something even a bit feminine,the world pities them coz they arent suppose to do so.We poor "aurate",never get that credit.Why? Its in a "by birth resume" that kitchen,babies,cleaning  is all part and parcel of womanhood anyway.

At 6:30pm,food was served,guests were seated,table laid and at the sound of Azaan,we ate a date with lassi and started having dinner.The food was fabulous but somehow after fasting for 16 hours,I couldnt eat a lot.Dinner was done,I got started with the major task of washing up,cleaning the whole kitchen down.My Kitchen is pretty small,so I cant just let the dishes be.They have to be washed and tucked into the cabinets,before anything more can be done.Since my husband did the cooking,there was a lot to clean up.But it took me only 30 mins,so no big deal. After that ,I served Jelly with cream and bananas.The one who enjoyed my dessert was 1 yr old Mohammad.The moment I flashed him my bowl,he put himself in reverse gear,climbed down the bed,came upto me and sat on my lap.He knows Aunty will keep it coming ,if Im in her lap.He was so happy with the jelly and bananas,he literally danced around me holding on to my shoulder.

Again I washed the dishes,made tea for my guests.Then they left.After that I changed cushion covers coz Mohammad fed himself and everything around him food dripping oil.I swept the carpet,wiped the furniture,put away all the vessels,took a shower and sat down.Somehow the butt pain had almost subsided.

Then my husband came in after his prayers,I made tea twice,he showered and went out.Then he comes back at midnight,I serve him dinner and I have tea again and he goes to sleep while I say awake,coz before the morning prayer ends,one has to eat and drink and basically stuff ,to avoid getting hungry later on in the day.We drink water only.

Now its 5:09 pm,and I have a bad headache.My tummy is growling and Im feeling very hungry.I cant sleep coz I never can sleep on a empty stomach.People usually sleep away to glory and wake an hour before opening fast and whip something up.But I finish my cooking in the afternoon itself coz I have tutions and then Im preparing snacks at the last minute.So thats why,Im blogging now.I cant seem to concentrate at all.I have a solid half an hour before I start doing anything in the kitchen coz we have yesterday's leftovers.

Oh ,I may watch "The A Team " today later on in the evening.My husband bought me the movie yesterday.He handed it over and said,it will make you happy.I love it when he does small things like this or rather i have learnt to appreciate these things and see them as signs of love and attention.The weekend is on,lets see what the night outings are going to be like.

Right now Im freezing cold.When you dont eat anything at all for long periods of time,your body I guess slows down everything.Im the kind of person who sweats while eating meat or drinking hot tea or having spicy food.Its like all my pores just unlock and ganga jamuna begin to flow,my cheeks go all pink on me.Its embarassing,coz many of my lady friends go like," Itni garmi lag rahi hai,tum tho pasina pasina ho gayi ho." What am I supposed to do,spray rexona over my face to avoid pespiration.

Husband just woke up,asked the time and went to sleep.Almost an hour more to go.Bye.

Aug 10, 2010

Onset Of ramadan

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the one month of Ramadan.As per Islam,Ramadan is a time when a muslim fasts from dawn to dusk and Then opens fast with the name of Allah.The purpose of fast being to experience the life and turmoil of a poor needy person who cannot afford food or basic luxury of life.The lesson being to understand humility and appreciate what God has given you and still be grateful.Now another benefit of this fast is,you get a chance to cleanse your body from within.I mean with regular fasting,you are sort of detoxifying yourself and giving your body a chance to  normalise those cholesterol,tryglyceride levels.

Also,you get a chance to learn self control and discipline your body.How? During the duration of the fast,one cannot smoke or engage in sex or listen to music.You have to fast in every sense of the world and its not just the body ,its the mind as well.Many people quit smoking or any other such filthy habit which they otherwise they would find hard to give up.As on other days,one has no restrictions whatsoever.

This is a month of repentence,seeking forgiveness,losing some of your bad habits and seeking spirituality.People try and encourage their families to pray regularly,to read the Holy Quran and practice simplicity as much as they can.Even charity is done at its best during this month.You know,some Asians bring thier relatives on visit visa suring this month,so that they can beg outside mosques and being a month of generosity,muslims give alms and money without thinking twice.If someone begs,you just wont feel like turning away.You will definitely feel bad.I have seen  many fake beggars here but during Ramadan I dont argue with them.I give away food,milk and sometimes money if I have the change.

In summary, the month of Ramadhan has been made so that mankind can take benefit of the merits and blessings contained within to change themselves for the better and by doing so create a bond with Allah that will continue throughout the eleven remaining months.

It is a month within which Allah has instructed us to place more emphasis on actions regarding our Deen (religion) as opposed to our daily routine and emphasis on worldly matters.

I love this month.Initially I find it difficult to fast the whole day.You cannot even drink a drop of water when you are fasting.So we are fasting from 4am to 6:30pm in the evening.The fast can be broken if one isnt well or travelling or pregnant or just gave birth.
This month,I will diet properly,I wont over indulge and plus having friends and family over for Iftari (opening of fast) is wonderful.I dont wear makeup,dress up and I try to remain as simple as I can.You cannot be angry,talk back,say bad words or fight during Ramadan.You cannot disrespect anyone.I get up by noon,cook the main course and keep aside.Snacks I make half an hour before Iftari.I also tutor during the time I fast.Its pretty dificult at times coz I feel completely drained and both of us being diabetic,its seems pretty challenging to both me and my husband.

Tomorrow is the first day of ramadan and I have invited guests over for Iftari.So I will be very busy tomorrow.I still have some green grocery shopping to do but the rest is okay.

I feel bad for my hsuabnd becasue with his fasting he has to work in the heat with temperatures soaring at 45 to 50'c plus,I pity him but Allah will bless him and keep him and many people like him safe healthwise.Many people tell me,cant he just keep work aside as it is allowed for muslims to do less work if they cant work with fasting.But as he works for the coastguard,its like putting the water security of the country on hold.I mean,boats and ships have to be fixed coz they work 24/7,365 days.

So what i do is,as soon as he comes back from work,he takes his shower and I put him to bed.He sleeps and wakes up 10 minutes prior to opening fast.Meanwhile,I do the cooking,tutoring and other basic stuff.Once the fast has been opened,which we do with a full course dinner,we can hardly budge from our spot.We sit there for half and hour and then slowly I satrt washing up and drink tons of tea.Im a tea addict and since to have my first cup I have to wait for evening,I get such massive headaches that i could bite anyone's head off.But since I cannot emote this way,I shut up and let my blood pressure rise within.

I will update my blog during ramadan.Right now I have a catch on one buttock and Im not able to move much.Dont ask how I got it? Must be the sleeping position.

Aug 9, 2010

Public Restrooms

Its like this woman wrote my toilet routine in a public restroom.So had to post it!

My mother was a fanatic about public toilets. As a little girl, she'd bring me in the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, never sit on a public toilet seat." And she'd demonstrate"The Stance," which consisted of balancing over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. But by this time, I'd have peed down my leg. And we'd go home.

That was a long time ago. I've had lots of experience with public toilets since then, but I'm still not particularly fond of public toilets, especially those with powerful, red-eye sensors. Those toilets know when you want them to flush. They are psychic toilets. But I always confuse their psychic ability by following my mother's advice and assuming The Stance. The Stance is excruciatingly difficult to maintain when one's bladder is especially full. This is most likely to occur after watching a full-length feature film. During the movie pee, it is nearly impossible to hold The Stance. You know what I mean. You drink a two liter cup of Diet Coke, then sit still through a three-hour saga because, for God's sake, even if you didn't wipe or wash your hands in the bathroom, you'd still miss the pivotal part of the movie or the second scene, in which they flash the leading man's naked derriere. So, you cross your legs and you hold it. And you hold it until that first credit rolls and you sprint to the bathroom, about ready to explode all over your internal organs. And at the bathroom, you find a line of women that makes you think there's a half-price sale on Mel Gibson's underwear in there. So, you wait and smile politely at all the other ladies, also crossing their legs and smiling politely.

And you finally get closer. You check for feet under the stall doors. Every one is occupied. You hope no one is doing frivolous things behind those stall doors, like blowing her nose or checking the contents of her wallet. Finally, a stall door opens and you dash, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter. You hang your handbag on the door hook, yank down your pants and assume The Stance.

Relief. More relief. Then your thighs begin to shake. You'd love to sit down but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold The Stance as your thighs experience a quake that would register an eight on the Richter scale. To take your mind off it, you reach for the toilet paper. Might as well be ready when you are done. The toilet paper dispenser is empty. Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny napkin you wiped your fingers on after eating buttered popcorn. It would have to do. You crumble it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work and your pocketbook whams you in the head. "Occupied!" you scream as you reach out for the door, dropping your buttered popcorn napkin in a puddle and falling backward, directly onto the toilet seat. You get up quickly, but it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with all the germs and life forms on the bare seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper, not that there was any, even if you had enough time to. And your mother would be utterly ashamed of you if she knew, because her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, "You don't know what kind of diseases you could get." And by this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, sending up a stream of water akin to a fountain and then it suddenly sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged to China. At that point, you give up. You're finished peeing. You're soaked by the splashing water. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a Chicklet wrapper you found in your pocket, then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the sinks with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past a line of women, still waiting, cross-legged and unable to smile politely at this point. One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that you are trailing a piece of toilet paper on your shoe as long! as the Mississippi River. You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and say warmly, "Here. You might need this."

At this time, you see your spouse, who has entered, used and exited his bathroom and read a copy of War and Peace while waiting for you. "What took you so long?" he asks, annoyed. This is when you kick him sharply in the shin and go home.

This is dedicated to all women everywhere who have ever had to deal with a public toilet. And it finally explains to all you men what takes us so long.

Rules for women

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

7. Crying is blackmail.

8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

9. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

10. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

12. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

15. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

16. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

26. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

27. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

28. You have enough clothes.

29. You have too many shoes.

30. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

31. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

32. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

33. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Ramblings and Ponderments

14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."

Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded every time we go out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing? Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?

Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"

Did you see these new minivan ads? All they talk about are cup holders, kiddy seats and doors. What kind of advertising is that? When you see an ad for a suit, do they say, "And look at the zipper! Carefully hidden, but easily accessible when you need it!" I think not.

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?

* If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos.....then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

* A person who smiles in the face of adversity.....probably has a scapegoat.

* Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

Aug 4, 2010

A good yesterday !

Yesterday,we gave a treat to one of our friends.It was a barbeque party.A barbeque party is a great way of getting friends together,sitting around ,eating and talking about unrelated things.Sometimes nonsensical and sometimes just plain fun.There will 2 groups.One who are sitting around the person making the bbq and the others who are watching from a distance waiting for refills and laughing among themselves over totally unrelated topics of any kind.

Now only those who give BBq parties,know how much work goes into organising everything.Its not getting up one morning and throwing meat over the grill to be cooked.The meat has to be minced,masalas of the right kind and amount have to be added,the meat has to be worked on for a while before leaving it aside for marinating.If what you've prepared turns out horrible or not that palatable,you're looking at money and time and respect wasted in front of your eyes.The last thing you want to see is someone rolling their eyes in disgust and doing a bad job of hiding it.Like the BBQ pros say,not everyone is able to do it.It takes experience and good knowledge of the meat and the masalas to get a good BBq going.

It takes my husband approximately 4 hours to prepare the meat before leaving it aside for marinating.Then applying the meat on the seekh or the kabab sticks is another feat in tiself.Do you know if the meat isnt prepared properly,the whole kabab will just fall off the seekhs into the fire.Even the fat content of the meat has to be considered,too much fat melting off and the fire just burns in all directions causing nuisance and horrid odour.People add many things to keep the kababs from falling down but not my husband and the BBQ fan club he belongs to.They use precise amounts of everything and sometimes im like its just not worth all that effort when some loser friend without any conscience,just blurts out That they are not good at all.Usually,they are people who dont know the basics of it.You dont like what you're eating,shut it.The person in friont of you has struggled for hours to get it right.At least,do the honourable thing of breaking it politely to someone.Tell it to the host some other day,not while they are sweating,running around trying to make sure that all are catered well.

I didnt even come to the part of the washing up that follows after such events.Washing each and every seek, so that there's no sign of fat on any,washing the metal box on which they are made,the clothes that smell like meat fat and burnt coal,washing up all the containers and the dishes you served in.Also making sure there are enough plates, water, spoons, ketchup, chutney, bread, roti, tea,soft drinks,soap,water supply for drinking and washing up,mats to sit on,cradboard pcs to air the fire,coal pcs,matches,tissue boxes,etc. The list is endless.Organising a successful BBq from scratch is tough but the reason my husband and I make a fuss of it,is we like treating people.Ultimately when all are happy,so are we.

A few months ago,I had a falling out over such attitude problem of a friend.Her complaint was that I didnt give her time.I didnt talk much and seemed lost in my own world.Yeah right ! In middle of attending to her husband and children and her royal highness and another 2 families,I didnt take a time out.I played with the kids,I served,refilled,fed and all and i get what ! That I wasnt a good host.A couple of days later,when the topic was rehashed again,I blurted out that she was never to be given  BBQ treat again.Not unless she tried giving one.Its easy to be that old hag who just doesnt find anything satisfactory.Like In- laws,no matter what you do,it aint as perfect as they would have had it.

Anyway,the family that we treated yesterday,they were totatlly content and happy.Uncle was pleased,he is an expert in BBQ himself and aunty and the kids and some few other friends were absolutely delighted.Aunty kept telling my husband that her "beti" (me) was a good girl and she was so happy by my hospitality.I was on cloud nine.

Aug 2, 2010

Free time....anyone !

Have you ever stepped into someone's home and gone," Yuck ! What does this woman do all day? Why does it feel and look like rot exploded into a mushroom cloud ! "

A house is a woman's domain.Everyone says so right ! A husband is not expected to keep the place squeaky clean or a dad is not expected to do diapering and cleaning dirty stinky baby tushies.At least In our part of the world,all this is very much still a woman's job.She may be working a 9 hour job but she is still expected to come home and cook and serve the kids and family.Now a woman in this position,I think has an excuse for untidy rooms and closets and what not !

But a housewife, what about a housewife.A woman who has the whole house to her self 24/7.What about her? I have always come across arguments between women who say that woman who manage job and home have it hard while a housewife has too much time to do many things.

I watched this episode where a housewife's schedule was closely observed.The woman had 3 kids age 8,4 and 1.She woke up in the morning,woke the kids,made sure they brushed their teeth,freshened up,visited the loo,changed diapers and then she made proper breakfast.Not the readymade kind like cereals.She made pancakes and eggs and fresh juice.SHe packed their bags ,their lunchboxes,put them in the car,took them to school.She then went to the supermarket,shopped for diapers and vegetables and came straight home to make lunch and again do the baby things.(diapers,feeding in between,clothes,his playing around.)Then she went to pick her kids up,gave them homemade lunches and dropped them at their extra curricular activities.She waited through for that hour and then she brought them back home,gave them showers,did their homework with them,made dinner,served it,changed them into night clothes,read them stories and put them to bed.Meanwhile ,she had to manage her never ending laundry,the baby,give time to her husband and check up with the accounts and stuff.She did all the cleaning up,washing up,showered and was in bed after putting the baby to sleep by 11pm.

Now I dont know about how things are in India because I never got a chance to observe.I wont talk about people who live in villages and work in fields.I have seen it first hand and people hardly have time when they are into farming and stuff.Its a very busy life coz they dont always have the latest amenities.

I would like to know about your schedule.

I didnt write mine.Mine is pretty simple.I have oodles of time and somedays I have to take a time out for a breather.Im a bit too organised for my own good.It irritates everyone but I cant seem to help it.I can have nightmares even during a 102'c fever if I know theres an unwashed cup in the sink.I mop floors daily and how I know its clean,when I can see the reflection of the wall over it.The toilet has to smell like a rainforest or else,it could be 3am in the morning and you can hear me washing down the entire loo.Im a barefoot kind of person,when I walk on the floor,it should feel cold to the touch or else,you'll find me wiping the floor.If anything I wear has a sweat stain coming on,I'll change.If I see them on my hsuabnd's clothes,I'll nag till he changes.To cut it all short,I think Im a bit obsessed and compelled in such matters.Its not borerline OCD but in simple words,my husband're crazy darling ! At first,we had a shouting match over such trivial things but when he sees me twisting and turning in my bed,he gives up and goes along with it. Anything to keep the old hag from going nuts I guess. Or indicative of some underlying problem.I have always been like this since I was a kid.Got it from my mom.She aimed at being perfect and so do I.

Doubting Myself !

I have been teaching these 2 boys for years now and I used to think that with time,it would be very easy to do it all.

Today,it was very sad.It took me 2 hours only to explain the difference what 6 n half in terms of giving marks on a test meant and what 6 n half dozen meant.I explained that in one the half stood for 0.5 and In another it was half a dozen,half of 12 and that was 6.What baffled me was why an 11 yr old coudlnt just get it? I was so frustated from explaining it again and again,I kept yelling at the top of my lungs and smacked him on end at every mistake he made over and over.

Sometimes,I think Im not a good teacher.They do get the best grades and do well but it comes at such a price at times.I dont like when I go wild.Sometimes I try to be patient,I count till 20 but what is and how is one supposed to do when teaching something that just doesnt seem to get through.

I know the kid can sometimes be cloddish but then I should be smart enough to get through to him a better way.My dad used to be like that.He hit us when he got frustated teaching something.But then unlike my dad,I know what Im teaching a 100% and different methods of the same problem.Back then,my dad looked at the reader and tried to teach us.I did get 50s in maths back then but I never understood math at all.But now I make it very simple but still he doesnt get it.

Im so tense and worked up,my pressure goes sky rocketing.What should you do,if the kid looks for easy way out and not interested in studying at all? How do you make a child take his studies seriously and not just play around? I have given every possible lecture on earth on the importance of studying on time and making time to play,I have tried being strict,I have tried being relaxed but he takes comfort in behaving like a toddler.

If anyone has any clue as to what else can I do or if Im wrong in being so strict,do tell? The problem lies in Math alone coz the rest he just learns by heart .

I actually hated myself today,I felt I was being all rude and harsh and I hate being that monster.