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Showing posts from August, 2010

Why are men like that !

What inspired me to write this piece was my husband,who came home yesterday night from completion of phase 2 of his project, with bad heat burns on his entire torso.He did some welding and was in one of his moods ,as it hurt a lot.Today ,he came back early from work,smiling from end to end,coz he got his leave and the medicated cream was finally doing good.

This got me thinking why is he like that? Then I thought - even my brother and dad did so too,so the question popped,why are men like that?

Why -
Fart especially around you and you catch them,you will find them smirking away.Is that funny? Is that smell suppose to send me jiggling with laughter? And when you question them,The cliche' response is ,"Hey ! Its a natural thing.Its suppose to happen.God intended it to be so."Their idea of taking you out,could sometimes be,sitting in the car for hours ,while he and his friend are searching for something they feel is is very important and at the end of which,they will change…

Diary page of a woman trying to sleep.

Nowadays,my sleep pattern has taken for the worse.I dont sleep when I should and therefore sleep late.But then I dont oversleep but get up early as well.This continues for a couple of days and then one day I hit the pillow and sleep for long periods of time.

First of all,I need to get this thing out of my head.I dreamt a couple of days ago,that I was a handsome man who just started dating this gorgeous woman.So on the day we meet at my primary school premises, where the electricity is absent,she tells me she has a 2 year old toddler.I light a candle and am very happy that I found a readymade family.As I go near the baby and touch his tiny hands,the baby scratches the flesh of it.I scream,the woman aint there at the moment,the kid turns Chucky on me,its hair gets all pointy,its eyes turn all black,the nails turn black and long and the child stands up with the scariest smile and says,"SO you think you can date my mom.Run ,run ,as fast as you can.Hide in those halls but I will find …

Dictionary of a MOM:

BABY: 1) Dad, when he gets a cold. 2) Mom’s youngest child, even if he’s 42.


CARPET: Expensive floor covering used to catch spills and clean mud off shoes.

COOK: 1) Act of preparing food for consumption. 2) Mom’s other name.

DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.

ENERGY: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something.

FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

FROZEN: 1) A type of food. 2) How hell will be like when Mom lets her daughter date an older guy with a motorcycle.

GENIUSES: Amazingly, all of Mom’s kids.

GUM: Adhesive for the hair.

HANDI-WIPES: Pants, shirtsleeves, drapes, etc.

HANDS: Body appendages which must be scrubbed raw with volcanic soap and sterilized in boiling water immediately prior to consumption of the evening meal.

HINDSIGHT: What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.

HOMEMADE BREAD: An object of fiction like the Fountain of Youth and t…

Festivals that scared us.

I was on facebook and one of my friend had posted a Happy Raksha Bandhan on it.I actually started laughing because it reminded me of the good old days of college.Come Rakhi day and the boys would sweat at the sight of a good looking girl,wondering if she will wish me happy rakhi or worse tie one,and that would be the end of his fantasy.I never had that problem coz I was sort of a guy.:>.Anyways,we did have some chicks in our class and it was fun to see the manly men avoiding girls during breaks and what not.

Then when I came to college,it was a totally different sight.Our college gates were the only visible thing from the outside.The main temples of study were located way inside.Firstly,you had the schools,then high school ,then Library and then the college classrooms.Since we were all women's college,we were surrounded by the opposite sex at all times outside our college.

When you are between the ages of 17 - 21,you start prancing around like a peacock.The peacock should have …

thought

DO you have friends who are always under the impression,that no matter what you tell them,you are telling them out of jealousy.Hatred is understood so is anger.But why do people have envy at the back of their mind.Some people like to have constant good evaluations done about them and some just think they are the creme de la creme of just about everybody and everything.

Now the creme de la creme group of people.These are people you will find amongst family members and distant friends.We wouldnt make them are friends, right ? No one likes to be looked down upon or sneered at !We wouldnt like to be constantly belittled in their presence.

These are people who are doing well and live "the life".They have their own exclusive club.Appearances mean everything be it the clothes on their body or the things in their house or in what they utter at all public moments.They belive that everyone who isnt in their radar,is inferior or worth having around.What they are going to do,or where th…

Message sent by your Body!

Our actions (body language) reflects our interest in various ways. In general, these actions manifest by instinct when we are facing people that we admire. For example, in intimate conversation, people usually look at each other's eyes. Sometimes we shift our vision from one eye to the other, and to the bridge of the nose. Some say that it’s rude to look at a stranger’s body, but when you really think about it, people really can’t help it when they feel attracted. When people are talking to mere acquaintances, they simply look at their eyes, but when people are interested in someone, they tend to notice a lot more than just the eyes and the nose. Also... looking at the someone's mouth can suggest interest in kissing.

When two people enjoy similar things, they tend to move in sync with each other. This does not mean that every single move they make is exactly the same, but rather that their moods are the same.

When people are interested in the person they’re talking to, they t…

The Potty Predicament and The Perfect Parent

I bought a potty for my son before he turned a year old. It was one of the colorful, deluxe models with removable parts, a front- loading plastic bowl, and sure-grip sides. I’d been having glorious visions almost since I left the delivery room, of my brilliant progeny fully trained and diaper- free by 18 months... heck, make that 15 months.




We’d be the envy of all my friends, whose deficient toddlers remained untrained at age two. I kept the commode in the closet for a few weeks, not wanting to place unrealistic expectations on my son. When I finally placed it, with much fanfare, in the bathroom, the child seemed delighted-- he examined it closely, giggled and squealed while I beamed as I planned how to spend the money I’d save on diapers.



Over the next few months, however, the potty was transformed into a nagging symbol of intergenerational warfare. The first skirmish -- over positioning -- raged throughout the house and left me exhausted and demoralized. I would place the potty in …

You Know You're a Mom When...

...Your feet stick to the kitchen floor and you don't care.




...the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.



...You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.



...You spend an entire week wearing sweats.



...Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.



...Popsicles become a food staple.



...Your favorite television show is a cartoon.



...Peanut butter and jelly is eaten at least in one meal a day.



...You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on.









...Your baby's pacifier falls on the floor and you give it back to her after you suck the dirt off of it because you're too busy to wash it off.



...You value sleep above all else.



...Your kids make jokes about fa…

Some Funny things !

I found this article online and found it to be almost truthful and funny at the same time.See if you share the same feeling and please dont be offended in any way.


Why Breed?



Reasons given : I can’t help it, it’s a biological urge.

Real reasons  : Unexamined motivations.

Suggested alternatives  : Institutions await those who can’t control

                                    their biological urges.



Reasons given : Want to give our parents grandchildren.

Real reasons : Still seeking parental approval.

Suggested alternatives : Live your own life and encourage your parents to do the same.



Reasons given : I just love children.

Real reasons : Out of touch with inner child, and with existing children.

Suggested alternatives : Adopt, step, and foster parenting.

Big Brother/Sister. Work with children, teach.



Reasons given : I have superior human genes.

Real reasons : Doesn’t recognize an oxymoron.

Megalomania.

Suggested alternatives : Do great things with your genes, rather than expecting the next culture…

Longevity

Today the show On "The Doctors" was about longevity.What is the secret of long life? And every centenarian said,that the key was Happiness.Yeah ! it sounds so cliche' but there is truth to it alright.When you have done what you could and when you could,you come to a point when you dont want to dare yourself to doing something exhilarating.Especially when you're past 80 yrs old.

Some pointers were,being surrounded by friends and family.A happy family and happy friends.A good social network at home or outside leads to good life experiences.Eating a handful of nuts 4 times a  week,be it a kid or adult is good for the body and also a key to longevity.A couple giving time to one another without interfernce every now and then is a key to happy marriage and so good life.HAving family dinners or meals together as family is good as it leads to people eating less,conversing more and therefore being a part of each and everyone's life.Women tend to live 10 - 15 yrs more than…

Ramadan Day 4

LAtely,after opening fast,I have been eating a lot.Every time I put a morsel into my mouth ,I keep wondering if this will add some pounds on me.I did lose a little weight a while ago and I plan on continuing to do so.Its given me this mild will power to keep my weight on check.Gaining even half a kg would throw all efforts into the loo.

Today,my husband will open his fast at work and Im left on my own to open at home.I plan on something simple.Some instant noodles with eggs and ham,some water melon,and tea with muffins.My husband is a foodie and when he is at home,he tends to fry tons of things and then I find it too hard to resist.

I didnt even know today was a saturday and I have been waiting for the kids to drop in like forever.This is the second time I have lost count of the days.Since my husband works on weekends as well ,I have totally lost touch with what date and day it is.

3 more hours to go and Im feeling a bit hungry.ANd am having a headache.I wish I could just fall asleep …

First day Of Ramadan

I thought I would feel the pangs of hunger but for some reason,I didnt feel anything during the day.Maybe because I had a muscle spasm on half my buttock,I couldnt concentrate on anything but my half side.I gave tutions and thats when I started getting headaches.Come on,am used to drinking 6-8 mugs of black tea a day and not able to start off your day with one can be pretty ugly.I tend to get very snappy,irritated and If I lose my temper ,I just want to bite someone's head off.

Also,we had invited a couple of friends over and my husband cooked everything.I couldnt even run to the loo if I started dripping pee.He made pakodas of various vegetables and egg.He cooked kheema stuffed in karela with white rice.He made massar dal,made lassi.I felt so bad that I couldnt help him out but he loves to cook and cater to friends.They do the same for us ,so why not!

Now the kids,all they saw was I towering over their books and teaching them.And Uncle slogging in the kitchen.Within half an hour …

Onset Of ramadan

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the one month of Ramadan.As per Islam,Ramadan is a time when a muslim fasts from dawn to dusk and Then opens fast with the name of Allah.The purpose of fast being to experience the life and turmoil of a poor needy person who cannot afford food or basic luxury of life.The lesson being to understand humility and appreciate what God has given you and still be grateful.Now another benefit of this fast is,you get a chance to cleanse your body from within.I mean with regular fasting,you are sort of detoxifying yourself and giving your body a chance to  normalise those cholesterol,tryglyceride levels.

Also,you get a chance to learn self control and discipline your body.How? During the duration of the fast,one cannot smoke or engage in sex or listen to music.You have to fast in every sense of the world and its not just the body ,its the mind as well.Many people quit smoking or any other such filthy habit which they otherwise they would find hard to give up.As on…

Public Restrooms

Its like this woman wrote my toilet routine in a public restroom.So had to post it!


My mother was a fanatic about public toilets. As a little girl, she'd bring me in the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, never sit on a public toilet seat." And she'd demonstrate"The Stance," which consisted of balancing over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. But by this time, I'd have peed down my leg. And we'd go home.


That was a long time ago. I've had lots of experience with public toilets since then, but I'm still not particularly fond of public toilets, especially those with powerful, red-eye sensors. Those toilets know when you want them to flush. They are psychic toilets. But I always confuse their psychic ability by following my mother's ad…

Rules for women

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

7. Crying is blackmail.

8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not wo…

Ramblings and Ponderments

14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.


34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.


51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.


Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."



Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded every time we go out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing? Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?


Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of …

A good yesterday !

Yesterday,we gave a treat to one of our friends.It was a barbeque party.A barbeque party is a great way of getting friends together,sitting around ,eating and talking about unrelated things.Sometimes nonsensical and sometimes just plain fun.There will 2 groups.One who are sitting around the person making the bbq and the others who are watching from a distance waiting for refills and laughing among themselves over totally unrelated topics of any kind.

Now only those who give BBq parties,know how much work goes into organising everything.Its not getting up one morning and throwing meat over the grill to be cooked.The meat has to be minced,masalas of the right kind and amount have to be added,the meat has to be worked on for a while before leaving it aside for marinating.If what you've prepared turns out horrible or not that palatable,you're looking at money and time and respect wasted in front of your eyes.The last thing you want to see is someone rolling their eyes in disgust a…

Free time....anyone !

Have you ever stepped into someone's home and gone," Yuck ! What does this woman do all day? Why does it feel and look like rot exploded into a mushroom cloud ! "

A house is a woman's domain.Everyone says so right ! A husband is not expected to keep the place squeaky clean or a dad is not expected to do diapering and cleaning dirty stinky baby tushies.At least In our part of the world,all this is very much still a woman's job.She may be working a 9 hour job but she is still expected to come home and cook and serve the kids and family.Now a woman in this position,I think has an excuse for untidy rooms and closets and what not !

But a housewife, what about a housewife.A woman who has the whole house to her self 24/7.What about her? I have always come across arguments between women who say that woman who manage job and home have it hard while a housewife has too much time to do many things.

I watched this episode where a housewife's schedule was closely observe…

Doubting Myself !

I have been teaching these 2 boys for years now and I used to think that with time,it would be very easy to do it all.

Today,it was very sad.It took me 2 hours only to explain the difference what 6 n half in terms of giving marks on a test meant and what 6 n half dozen meant.I explained that in one the half stood for 0.5 and In another it was half a dozen,half of 12 and that was 6.What baffled me was why an 11 yr old coudlnt just get it? I was so frustated from explaining it again and again,I kept yelling at the top of my lungs and smacked him on end at every mistake he made over and over.

Sometimes,I think Im not a good teacher.They do get the best grades and do well but it comes at such a price at times.I dont like when I go wild.Sometimes I try to be patient,I count till 20 but what is and how is one supposed to do when teaching something that just doesnt seem to get through.

I know the kid can sometimes be cloddish but then I should be smart enough to get through to him a better w…