Why are men like that !

What inspired me to write this piece was my husband,who came home yesterday night from completion of phase 2 of his project, with bad heat burns on his entire torso.He did some welding and was in one of his moods ,as it hurt a lot.Today ,he came back early from work,smiling from end to end,coz he got his leave and the medicated cream was finally doing good.

This got me thinking why is he like that? Then I thought - even my brother and dad did so too,so the question popped,why are men like that?

Why -

• Fart especially around you and you catch them,you will find them smirking away.Is that funny? Is that smell suppose to send me jiggling with laughter? And when you question them,The cliche' response is ,"Hey ! Its a natural thing.Its suppose to happen.God intended it to be so."
• Their idea of taking you out,could sometimes be,sitting in the car for hours ,while he and his friend are searching for something they feel is is very important and at the end of which,they will change their mind and say it was too expensive anyway.We don't need it that badly.
• That water, on the kitchen or the bathroom floor is not a big deal.And to top it out,they will walk all over it and leave footprints.

       "  Oops,I didn't notice that ! It doesnt look that dirty?  "
         Like I need to know whats dirty and whats not !

• Leave a trail of body hair all over the bathroom floor and sink after a shower and a trim.

         Why? What can I do about my hair,its there on my body,its bound         to fall somewhere when I'm naked.

• They have to be reminded that  their hair has grown long enough and they now need a hair cut.They will sometimes wait (some of them at least) to go finish with the neanderthal phase.

Day 1: Sweetie,go have a haircut?         
           M: OK.

Day 3: Sweetie,you should go in today?  
          M : Yeah I know.

Day 5 : Sweetie,its too shaggy looking now,please go?
          M: Fine,I will see when I'm free.

Day 6: You have to get that haircut dear?
         M: Why are you bugging me everyday...have patience,I'm a busy man.

Day 8 : That's it! You cannot lie next to me with that head of yours.
          M: I'm on my way pumpkin.

• Hates going to the mall.Why? Because its a place where people go to "line marofy". And why go to places for window shopping when you know you cant afford or want to buy those things?

What the hell is that suppose to mean? what is wrong with window shopping? Whats wrong with ogling and drooling over things you cant buy? At least you can see them first hand right !  Iam saving big bucks,cant you see.

•  That friends or guests can be invited over for dinner or lunch but nothing in between.

I would love to throw tea parties,juice parties,ice cream parties,what is wrong with that theory? The English do it ,right !  Why does it always have to be a 4 course big meal.Why can we just chill?
M: Because its not polite and doesn't look good serving tea with nibbles.
Me : The freakin' Angrezis do...why cant we !

• Why does the idea of throwing your clothes into hamper everyday seem wrong?

M : Why do I have to change everyday?
Me: Why are you waiting for fungus and algae to grow on your clothing by wearing it for 3 days in a row? Why cant you smell your perspiration at all? why cant you understand the fact that noticing all that butt scratching,crotch scratching makes me wonder if there are alien organisms in your clothes!

• Why they don't understand the rituals of a woman's body care and think its bit too much.

Sweetie,lathering your skin with cream and deodorants makes one soft n supple.I do this coz I don't want to appear dry and brittle.I want a nice shiny skin.Other than making myself lush for you,I want to look good for ME.We love to pamper ourselves.If I can do that at home without spending 100s of bucks in the salon,then why not?

• Why your ideas or suggestions are not that good when given at a  time,their own ideas haven't yet come into their minds yet.

A wife's idea or girlfriends ideas will only be good when the guy has had plenty of his ideas already.How dare we,made from their ribs,be the ones to think of something good and unique first.The manly men think of the best first and then come our ideas.
A couple of days ago,we were thinking about our vacation and when to take leave.I kept on yakking on and on explaining when is the best time to go and the in laws would be ecstatic if we could spend one festival with them.he kept nodding away.Today,he asks me to pull out the calendar and says the same thing again.And in the end,he goes like,"See ! I always think through all details before planning something." And I didn't want to crush him but In my mind I was like,who was I talking to that day...the evil twin?

But he is my sweetheart and I love him to pieces.I'm sure he has so much to pick on in me.