May 30, 2010

Dont oversleep ever!

Jaan came back from work yesterday and we decided to go to the fish market where we bought crabs and fish eggs and then went into a supermarket and shopped and ate outside and came home and slept.It was around 3:15am and I decided not to watch the rest of Ace Ventura - When nature calls,so as to not to destruct my sleep cycle.

I sleep for 7 hours but for some reason jaan made some noise in the morning when going to work and I couldnt sleep after that.I had around 4nhalf hours of sleep.Didnt matter,got up and had breakfast and did all my usual house work.

Then come tution time,it was time to read Kuwait social studies lesson.Oh my Gosh! It was so damn boring that I thought I would fall asleep right in the middle of listening him read it.As soon as he left,I lay down on my bed and didnt even realise I had slept for 2nhalf hours.Jaan never lets me sleep coz I usually get into this annoying episodes if I happen to sleep in the middle of the day.Do you know I havent slept a single day during the day in my life! I mean I can count on my fingers how many times I have slept in the past 32 years.My mom told me that I was never the kind of child who slept during the day.

Anyho,I got up and was in a state of shock.I had and still have a terrible headache.I feel like crying,I have 2 cups of black tea 15 minutes of each other and am on my way to make another one.Things are tasting funny,nothing seems interesting and I want to rip someone's heart out.Since Jaan is working very late,Im controlling my tears and trying to cheer myself up.

You know as people get older they tend to stick to a certain routine coz it keeps them at peace and in control of themselves.For me its avoiding nap.I sleep at 3am and get up at 10am sharp without alarm clocks.If I have a doctors appointment early in the morning,again I dont need an alarm clock most of the time.I tell myself I have to be up by 8am before sleeping and then Im up.dont ask me how I do it,but I just know.

Coming to think of it,I actually made up for the sleep I missed in the morning but slept half an hour more thats why all the groggy mood.History can have that effect on anyone.Even back in the school day,my fear was how to keep awake while studying for the history paper.I fell asleep very often and ended up slapping myself,splashing water on my face with eyes open,pinching myself.

My sinuses hurt and my nose feels blocked,Oh boy!...

May 29, 2010

Weekend gayi bhadd mein....

I look forward to weekends the whole week and what happens! My hubby goes to work . I wanted to shoot him right between the eyes but who's gonna spoil me rot if he went Poof!

Yesterday,like the many other days,it was too hot to leave the house in the afternoon.We finally left in the evening to the shopping center and must tell you.Never take your husband shopping with you.It was a nightmare.I lovvve doing window shopping at my own pace and then I pop into stores and rummage through stuff and finally may happen to buy something.

Now now....I don't shop for hours on end unless I'm so happy.I'm thrifty by nature so I look at stuff really well for quality and buy.I'm not one of those people who looks at a label and buys it just because its branded.A smart person knows otherwise.Anyways,labels are for those who have too much cash and esteem problems.You can look in a pair of 10 dollar jeans or 100 dollar jeans.As long as they are good quality and you feel good in them.You make the clothes you wear,not always the other way round.Whats the saying......"WALK IT LIKE YOU OWN IT!"

Yeah,my hubby bought pants and pyjamas and within 20 minutes,we were out.The continuous menacing question, what now? what now ? and There my mood was off.I was like lets just go.We decided we will eat masala dosa and then his immediate response goes...really! I feel a tummy ache. Then that too goes  Poof...Then I grew desperate and stubborn and in an outburst I told him ,"I don't care,take me to a least let me browse through vegetables and eatables.You can use the bathroom there while I'm bz." You must be wondering what the heck ! But yes girls I'm pathetic.....I just wanted to get my 30 minute exercise through the aisles be it a clothing store or a cornflakes market.

What happens,we are stuck in traffic for 40 minutes and Im so pissed off,That I start yelling," I hate you! I hate you!"And he is laughing his ass of replying," Why...I didnt cause the Jam?" and int he end Im like...I want to go home...Take me home....

Finally,he brings me back,I throw myself on the bed and start sulking.He tries to bring a crack of a crappy smile on my face by saying tomorrow we'll go here and there and come tomorrow,he's gone to work.I hate him.I hate him.........

You know sometimes I think,This is why people have kids.It gives you a direction...something to worry about...something to can never be idle when you have a child.So everyday is more busy and something to look forward to.They fill a void which is sometimes there with life getting mundane in time.If you have nothing to least your child needs something....Strange and Lucky! ( for some)

May 27, 2010

Mermaid or Whale !

I received this email again yesterday and I thought it was a real nice one,many of us real women would appreciate.I have never been waif like in my adult life.I have always been overweight or just about right or obese.I envy people who are naturally slim or thin,but when someone goes way overboard to lose weight to show off a skeletal frame,nah! I don't consider skinny beautiful.There should be something to hold onto as I hear many men say.There is so much of us to love:>.

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tanned woman appeared in the window of a gym.


A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question pose d by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins, stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. : We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good gosh, look how smart I am!"

May 26, 2010

Simple and Real friends.....

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself
and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your
'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears..

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book..

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it!

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

{Somehow I have learnt that having a real friend is a rarity,Just friends you'll find dime a dozen.Now One good friend of mine has to read this and kick my ass for price tagging them.}

wannabe poet...

My heart shuddered the first time,
I went breathless for a second,
My skin tingled at the very touch,
My lips trembled,
And my feet didn't feel the ground underneath!
My mind went undecided..
Was it or was it not !
I wouldn't look up
The pounding of my heart so intense
Made me blush..
Every breeze against my body felt
like a warm caress on a cold night,
I could hear angels on their harp
And all the world was greener and cheery
It was like sorrow would befall no more
and then I knew something had changed;
The world would not be the same anymore
Yes ! I had fallen in love..
and it was the best beginning
of a wonderful chapter of my life.

May 20, 2010

Basic Foundation !

Growing up,I already had pre-formed ideas of what life was supposed to be.Now I thought when I grew as tall as my mom,I would stop studying and life would easy.It would mean going out everyday in the morning and coming back home in the evening.Eating and bathing and laughing and having fun.I envied the fact that my parents didnt have to cram their books up,prepare for exams,got to wear color clothes and got to watch as much Tv as they liked.I would always think,let me just turn 13 and then i would be a full fledged adult.Why 13? Coz my mom happened to talk about being a teen meant being over 13.Of course I had to wait for another 6 years.

At first my mom said,at least learn to go on your own to the loo without her,then you will be a big girl.Though I hated the fact that I had to clean myself up,I passed with not that much flying colors.Then one day my mom said,if you could fry one egg and make your own toast,you would be a big girl.After scorching many pans in secrecy and breaking eggs into everything but the pan,I finally learnt to fry an egg at the age of 7.

Then my mom said if I could sleep by myself alone,I would be a big girl.Here I couldnt compete with my brother and sister,they slept on either side and I had no option but to sleep in the corner.No more my mom could touch my head coz the stupid duo never let her do so.

My mom finally got me doing a whole lot of things and I grew up bit by bit.

Being a total rebellion ever since I could pee and poop without anyones help,I now thought I was an independent person.( yup ! I was a nutjob back then too.)

Then gulf war happened and I celebrated my 13th birthday in the hostel.The day that I had looked forward to for 6 years was now the most dreadful day,I wasnt with my folks anymore,I was living amidst strangers and I prayed that God would turn me back into a 6 yr old.I would be a good girl,not trouble anyone,never ask for chocolates or any other favours from him but all he had to do was turn me into a 6 yr old.

Anyways,by then I had learnt a few things and in the following years I learnt a few more of life lessons.

I learnt what infatuation was all about,I discovered the opposite sex,I found out I was good at studies and could really get good grades.I made the second best friend of my life,Smitha Shetty.I learnt what partiality was,I learnt what it was to live under the leadership of someone,I learnt how to bend to someone's beck and call,I learnt what it was like to be a teacher's pet.I found out that a little pat on the shoulder and a praise went a long way,in ensuring your confidence.
I learnt to live among strange people and make it your own little home.I fell in love for the very first time and discovered the strength, true love had on your life and how it brought out the best in you.I found a little bit of feminity within me,enough to look apart from a boy.I learnt what my family meant to me and this has me made me very strong and understanding in the truths of life.I learnt how to be thankful for the smallest things,like good food or relative dropping by to say hello.I learnt Iam what I make of myself.People influence your life but in the end you become what you really are within.

This was the base,the basic foundation of what I was to become once I entered college life.College life is a total different platform to write about.

We Women!

useless blog entry - 1

My first tamil film was the movie "KADALAN".Prabhu deva and Nagma starrer love story.I loved the songs,the dances,love scenes,etc.I had never fallen in love upto that moment.I was young, 17 years old and that movie was like the ideal storyline of my would be love life.I had been to that movie in some Udupi theatre with a girlfriend and some friends.

Suddenly Im feeling sleepy.My back hurts.Took a cold shower and sat right in front of the fan,now my body is aching.

Please someone sponsor me a spa treatment for the weekend.Wrap me in some hot seed weed crap,let me sit inside a mud pool,let someone massage me to sleep,etc.I wonder how it will go? Im so ticklish,you place one finger on my arm and i start rolling around laughing uncontrollably.

May 19, 2010

Outward beauty !

I was wearing my dental clips yesterday night and since they have wires protruding out a bit,I tend to get a pout.It then got me thinking about this topic today.

From where did this fashion of pouty lips begin? Babies breastfeeding or bottle feeding usually have a pouty mouth because of the suckling fashion,how can it be a fashion statement ! I see women filling their lips with fat,some go too far ahead and literally have their upper lip sticking out.This woman who gave birth to octopulets in the US,don't remember her name,she has the strangest mouth ever.It seems very clear that she had that flapper altered by surgery.The cosmetic surgeons always tell on shows,that they have patients coming into the clinics and asking for a Lopez Ass,Angelina mouth,breast augmentations and enlargements,liposuction,lifts of all kinds for all body parts,toe shortenings,ear pinning,you can even have permanent makeup done on your face,namely tattooed eyebrows or lip color or eye liners,etc.

On one hand we talk about remaining true to our body and spirit and on the other almost 60% of the total population has something enhanced or changed purely in the name of beauty.Are people so insecure now or has the concept of beauty become so hardcore,that anything not stipulated in its list,is ugly !

I don't condemn anything,everyone has a right to their own fashion statements but beyond a point it looks plain stupid.You can spot their esteem hanging on by a thread and some of them grows egos as big as supernovas.I guess when you develop self confidence after a long time,you find it difficult to shake it off even when its all over somebodys face.

Not wanting to sound like a hypocrite,I do wear dental clips to keep my teeth aligned otherwise in time they look like buck teeth.I wear contact lens because every now and then ,I like to see my face in the mirror without the glasses.I color my hair every now and then coz I have had white strands since I was 8 yrs old.I pluck my eye brows  and upper lip.This too, I guess, counts for something.Or is there a difference between enhancing and changing dramatically by going under the knife.

Im was wet !

I just didn't know what to cook anymore yesterday,so I told my hubby I would make him healthy sandwiches for lunch and cook something for dinner.Our a/c hasn't been cooling as such and when you live in a tiny apartment in these hot summers,you literally tend to feel cooked if you have to do chores as well.

The repairmen didn't show up at all,I waited for them the whole day.We had sandwiches,my hubby left for work,I took a shower coz I was feeling all sticky and then the kids dropped by.Once that was over,I had tea and decided to buy some fresh chicken and cook dinner.

In the middle of all that chopping,grinding,peeling onions and garlic,cleaning the chicken,stirring the pot and adding masalas,I could feel my body drowning in my own sweat.I kept a table fan nearby but it wasn't giving any relief.I was so pissed off at that time.I wanted to bang the fan against the wall,I wanted to beat someone black and blue.My hair soaked,then my undies,then my clothes,The sweat was pouring into my eyes.I was getting all crazy...I wanted to kick my hubby when he returned for not listening to me and buying a damn a/c unit long back.

Then my hubby comes home.He's all tired but he was expecting to see me all cheerful.Instead he sees this melting pot of body fluids and piss offs.The first thing he did as usual was hug me and then he expressed his condolence.Being a bhartiya nari,I melted at this very thought and all was OK.I completed my chicken with cauliflower curry,flavoured rice in a jiffy and went to take my shower.But now I'm like,maybe he knows the secrets of the trade....hehehhehhe....I think men eventually know ,just the way we know,how to click the right buttons.This way,all's well in hell.;>

i don't remember if back in my college days or in India,I excreted so much moisture from my body.I do remember the month of may every,just before the monsoons began.My brother,sister and I never left our apartment.we sat in our underwear right under the fan with cotton cloths,lay down on the tiled floors and stayed indoors till late evenings.There could be no shame,so we wore baniyaans and short shorts and lay there like piglets praying for the monsoons to arrive.we showered twice or thrice a day.We drank tender coconut,bought our stock of Nycil powder for heat rashes,drank tons of thumbs up or pepsi or buttermilk,or whatever cold we could find our hands on.There was one complex back then...Saibeen complex,and my sister and I would roam around wearing bermuda shorts and tshirts and toilet slippers,sandals.We could care less for our appearance coz if we wanted to go out,no way we were wearing all those clothes in such hot weather.

I have given my hubby an ultimatum that by the end of this month ,I want a split unit.The temperatures are just going to continue soaring.And with ramadan just a few months away,i don't want to take a chance.I love sweating,its not all bad.My skin gets great,my pores get clean but I don't take heat very well.After a while,it makes me bitchier.

May 18, 2010

A Memory

I had finished drinking my usual 4pm tea with rusk.I kept the glass in the sink and decided to go out for a stroll.As I walked towards the beach on this narrow raised pathway,I looked up.There were coconut trees everywhere,all of them as tall as a 4 storey building.As the leaves danced along with the salty breeze,I kept wondering how lucky I was to be able to enjoy these dancing trees,this lightly flavoured breeze,the coolness of the sand and mud beneath my feet,the way the breeze brushed against my skin.The Sun was going to set within the hour and like all other days I had to see this unique sunset amidst white fluffy clouds.The rays sometimes just burst through the cracks or tears of the cloud and it would be like God was playing peek a boo with me.

As I reach the shore,I see the river so smooth and getting ready to rest.She was hot the whole day and tired beacuse children played with her,women washed clothes in her,men were fishing in her,boats were being rowed over her,She was tired and was getting to ready to rest.As the sun would shine over her...she looked like a running river of gold.The area by the beach was like a mini grassland.I sat at the edge of it and waited for the sun to say Good night to me.I looked at the flock of birds flying across the sky ready to head back home.

I would lie down by the beach til it went pretty dark.I liked the way the grass felt,it was the cosiest mat ever.She smelled so good.I always try to picture paradise in my mind.Everytime I would read the word paradise,I would think to myself,if mother nature is so beautiful right here,imagine the beauty of the paradise we have been promised someday by God.

We got to go home thrice a year and back then it was my grandma's place in Mangalore.Having lived in a desert all my life and am still, I considered such opportunities a privilege and sheer luck.When I visit any such place,I imbibe every bit I can in my mind,so that whenever I need the time to relax,I know that place I can goto in my mind and its like its all around me.

Our central A/C just got fixed and my room is feeling cooler than before and I just remembered my granma's home.I wish I could put up a pic but I didnt have access to any camera back then,so its all there in my head.I have things to do now...better go.....Hope everyone had a good day!

May 17, 2010

few khyals before cooking lunch !

The week has already started and its going to be a long one.The kids have started their first unit exams and there so much to study and so little time.I actually pity the kids though I did the same thing back then.The thing I dont remember doing it.I never took tutions in my life for anything and kids today begin their day with school,end it with tutions and hardly get a breather.Are kids gettting dumb or were we too smart back then.:>

I will be on my way to cook sheep liver and heart.We cook it very rarely but its tastes great.I have egg whites all over my face,its dried now.They say its good for the skin,sort of like a nutritional pack for the skin.

Im just waiitng for this month to end,it will be a great relief not having to meet deadlines with these kids.One of them has to learn about northern mountain areas in areas in India.There are so many names an spellings to make him learn.He just received the notes 2 days back,then theres K.S.S. ,which I have not been able to cover since there are so many thigns to study and so little time.The other has been blindly lying about tests in class and what not.Im going to break his legs today.Its a shame that these boys still dont understand the fact that they have to study come what may.They dont bother about their homeworks ,everything has to be spoon fed,every little detail has to be explained.Im supposed to guess if they got it or not ,or they will stare into blank space like lifeless dolls.

I remember being beaten by my dad.He used the kettle wire and his leather belt.If I messed up with my tests or exams,he would beat us and those swollen arms and legs would be constant reminders that there is no escape.But how do you teach kids who are pampered like kings at home.Who rule the roost at their homes.

My parents always reminded us that they were doing all for us and in return we had to give them what they wanted.With each and every gift,we got a lecture as to how thye had to obtain it and how we should care for things.We worked for many of the things we got back then.It had to be good grades or some good thing we did.It wasnt like we demanded and we recieved.We had to show our worth for it.In a way,its good habit,parents should instill certain lessons in their children gradually with age.They should be taught taht one has to be worth it to ask for something.I want an Xbox,you make your kid earn it.Tell him he has to behave good,he shouldnt talk back,he should be at his best behaviour at home,he should get good grades in exam.

Dont tell your kid or in front of them ,That you cant tell no to them,they are your weakness,they are ready to overlook or they overlook many things coz we love you too much.Kids are very perceptive about things like these and they know just the right buttons to push.A 2 yr old kid knows that if I scream at the top of my lungs ,my mom will come running to me and do whatever pleases him at that moment.So wont a 5 or 10 or 15 yr old know?

I see many parents excuse a lot of ill behaviour in the name of pampering and love.I was a naughty,handful child myself but then when repsonsibilities came upon me,I didnt shriek or run away.I took care of my responsibilities well and Im proud.I have never been a selfish child.I may have shown stinginess when it came to sharing chocolates but other than that I dont think I have been self serving.

Every parent has their own way of raising their child,and though I judge within the four walls of my house,i dont say that much.Many of the parents I know finally one day give up and say,I should have dont this and that back then I was too lenient.hehheheh....

I hate it when a 6yr old is too fashion conscience.Wants to wear makeup like grown ups ,wear clothes like grownups and act like them.I always wonder what do these parents think when they let their young children dress up like adults.Children should be allowed to look like they're children.But a 7 yr old now has to audacity to tell her mom that she is not doing her shopping right,demands for heels,demands for lipgloss.Its a sad thing really. and then we complain about pedophiles on the rampant in the streets.

I have to go,or else I will upset my schedule and end up being tired.Hav eto be on the constant run and be active.bye !

May 15, 2010

An insight into the gluttony of the mad king

{ This is for Zubie : I was experimenting with the templates and yes,when Im bored I change them.}

I found this article very unappetising but very interesting indeed.I had to share it with you guys.An insight into the gluttony of the mad king .

Henry VIII, who ruled England from 1509 until his death in 1547, was known for his voracious appetite. Portraits of Henry show a man almost as wide as he was tall. When he wasn't marrying, divorcing, or beheading his wives (he was on his sixth marriage when he died at age 58), this medieval ruler dined like a glutton.

He enjoyed banquets so much that he extended the kitchen of Hampton Court Palace to fill 55 rooms. The 200 members of the kitchen staff provided meals of up to 14 courses for the 600 people in the king's court. Here are some dishes served at a typical feast.

1. Spit-Roasted Meat : Spit-roasted meat -- usually a pig or boar -- was eaten at every meal. It was an expression of extreme wealth because only the rich could afford fresh meat year-round; only the very rich could afford to roast it, since this required much more fuel than boiling; and only the super wealthy could pay a "spit boy" to turn the spit all day. In a typical year, the royal kitchen served 1,240 oxen, 8,200 sheep, 2,330 deer, 760 calves, 1,870 pigs, and 53 wild boar. That's more than 14,000 large animals, meaning each member of the court was consuming about 23 animals every year.

2. Grilled Beavers' Tails : These tasty morsels were particularly popular on Fridays, when according to Christian tradition, it was forbidden to eat meat. Rather conveniently, medieval people classified beavers as fish.

3. Whale Meat : Another popular dish for Fridays, whale meat was fairly common and cheap, due to the plentiful supply of whales in the North Sea, each of which could feed hundreds of people. It was typically served boiled or very well roasted.

4. Whole Roasted Peacock : This delicacy was served dressed in its own iridescent blue feathers (which were plucked, then replaced after the bird had been cooked), with its beak gilded in gold leaf.


5. Internal Organs : If you're squeamish, stop reading now. Medieval cooks didn't believe in wasting any part of an animal, and in fact, internal organs were often regarded as delicacies. Beef lungs, spleen, and even udders were considered fit for a king and were usually preserved in brine or vinegar.

6. Black Pudding : Another popular dish -- still served in parts of England -- was black pudding. This sausage is made by filling a length of pig's intestine with the animal's boiled, congealed blood.

7. Boar's Head : A boar's head, garnished with bay and rosemary, served as the centerpiece of Christmas feasts. It certainly outdoes a floral display.

8. Roasted Swan : Roasted swan was another treat reserved for special occasions, largely because swans were regarded as too noble and dignified for everyday consumption. The bird was often presented to the table with a gold crown upon its head. To this day, English law stipulates that all mute swans are owned by the Crown and may not be eaten without permission from the Queen.

9. Vegetables : Perhaps the only type of food Henry and his court didn't consume to excess was vegetables, which were viewed as the food of the poor and made up less than 20 percent of the royal diet.

10. Marzipan : A paste made from ground almonds, sugar, and egg whites and flavored with cinnamon and pepper, marzipan was occasionally served at the end of a meal, although desserts weren't common in England until the 18th century when incredibly elaborate sugar sculptures became popular among the aristocracy.

11. Spiced Fruitcake : The exception to the no dessert rule was during the Twelfth Night banquet on January 6, when a special spiced fruitcake containing a dried pea (or bean) was served. Whoever found the pea would be king or queen of the pea (or bean) and was treated as a guest of honor for the remainder of the evening.

12. Wine and Ale : All this food was washed down with enormous quantities of wine and ale. Historians estimate that 600,000 gallons of ale (enough to fill an Olympic-size swimming pool) and around 75,000 gallons of wine (enough to fill 1,500 bathtubs) were drunk every year at Hampton Court Palace.

May 14, 2010


I finally got the ratio of milk to rice for my rice pudding.Made a less sweet version of it and decided to eat that for lunch.Now my teeth feel all sweet.Not used to eating sweets that much anymore,so I know when Im high on sugar or fats.After eating KFC,which is rarely (once or twice a year) I usually can feel my cholesterol rising.I can feel grease line my insides but I love fried chicken and little binge once in a while hopefully doesnt cause all that harm.

Today I have promised my husband to make pakodas for him namely brinjal and cauliflower pakodas.Just adding the masalas and coating them with gram flour and deep frying them.I thought he too needs a break from all thats healthy and wise and makes everything look nice.

He's at work today too so Im all alone and dont know what to do.Im dreaming of how Im gonna go in a radical change of hair color and streaks,Im thinking of buying something real nice for myself with my tution money at the end of this month.How my husband requires total replacement of formal wear!

Thats why Im writing this blog,in a way talking to myself and not talking either.Seriously ,are all women like this...when they have nothing to do..what do they think ! My girlfriends live far away from my place and transportation is a must.I dont trust taxis or private rental transports at all not with all the crap you get to hear in the news.They say they have introduced pink taxis here but I havent seen one at all,for that matter not even female police.Oh pink taxis are for women driven by women.

How will I look with blonde streaked hair..I had streaked them once and was complimented by many friends.But this time Im planning to go and change my whole hair color and then have mutiple streaks shades mixed in.I love experimentation but in a very subtle ways,I dont go in for sudden overwhelming changes.The last time I tried a new hair color,the color was so light that my scalp and hair seemed to completely blend in.It was embarrasing and for a month I couldnt change my hair color.Too many chemicals thingy ! I covered my hair with a scarf and tied my hair up whenever I wasnt.I waited for a month and half and changed it to black after that.

I will be meeting my inlaws again sometime this year.And like most of them,they wont be happy to see me but they still look for impressions when they're in the mood.So I got to look pretty,classy,step up in the cooking arena and talk all boring to please their wonderful ears.

And my hair looks so great today,its sitting all perfect on my shoulders,its all soft and the ends have curled in just right.You know why ! Coz I have no where to go.The day when I have to be ready to go out or at a party,my hair will look limp,have no shine,my makeup will be running when Im a bit hot and I will have forgotten to wear some perfect accessory that I had planned for the occassion.Life is cruel at times and we have to deal with it,hehheheheh !

I think I need to have tea and recharge my battery.I need to get that sweet taste out of my mouth.

My first kiss... and a little bit of WWE

I was watching the trailors of "Dear John" and they show this kiss that Amanda Seyfried and Channing Tatum share,Oh How I miss that first kiss or one of the first kisses when all is fresh,new,filled with hopes and dreams and the possibility of finding true love.

I do kiss my hubby now and then...but they are kisses of welcome home sweety or am proud of you darling or just missed you a lot today kisses.They are true kisses too but they dont bring that tingly feeling or that knotty feeling in your tummy anymore.You know they are yours forvever so they hold that magic once in a blue moon.

Ahh....when you're heart races,you have goosebumps all over,you close your eyes tight.When I saw the actors kissing...I just wanted to have that new feeling too.

Now with WWE in the background ,all that romantic feeling is drifting away.Yes ! Im a wrestling fanatic.I know most of it is drama but I lovvvvvvvve it.Im looking forward to watching the match between Shamus and Randy Orton.

My brother and I watched this and he tried doing all these stunts on me and my sister.But when I was hurt during any of these home matches,I would just jump over him and then it was like "Last Man Standing match".We got bruised,we cried ,we screamed and we wouldnt just let it end....Finally Our mom would smack us on our back,pull on ears and shout and she would just hold the arms of the strongest child,which was my brother.I would still manage a punch to his tummy and then both of us got enraged and we ran in circles all round our compound for at least 20 mins.My mom would be cursing us loud,telling she would kill us if she caught us,my sister would be laughing loudly,my mom wopuld be screaming on and on...she would threaten us with,"Im gonna tell daddy to give both of you the beting of his life !" ( and he always did).Finally when we couldnt breathe and had to cry to ease the pain,we would tell each other time out and after 20 seconds,it was like it never happened.

Chris Jericho just won a draft match.My hubby makes fun of me...he says Im crazy.But I always tell him it runs in our family.My dad is a hardcore fan,my brother is,Iam.My   mom and sister just couldnt join our group.My husband watches with me but thats to give me company.He sees me all excited and jumpy and then enjoys it too.

May 13, 2010

Temporary disturbing feelings

For many days I have been wondering about this subject but it seemed just too sensitive to put it out there.My folks retired recently and will be leaving this country soon and that will the end of it.I havent spoken or seen my parents in 8+ years.They dont want to either.Thats the price I had to pay for marrying someone they didnt,dont and will never approve of.One moment I was the heart and soul.It was like beheading someone.Once the head is gone,life in that body just ceases to exist.

I have always had a soft spot for children even when I was a tiny kid myself.I dont remember my sis that much but my brother I do.I was 4-5 yrs old,I fed them,sang them songs,spoke to them,put them to sleep and stared at them for hours.As I grew older,my admiration for babies didnt end.My cousins would usually tease me saying that people who love babies so much,never tend to have their own.To which I would reply,no way....if I couldnt be a mom in the future I would kill myself.Coz if nothing else,mom is one thing I would badly want to be.
But 8+ years later,Im childless.I feel lost sometimes and feel bad for myself.I mourn the loss of my egg every month,I feel I have lost a child.I cry in the toilet or the bathroom.Cannot let my husband see me cry like this.He cant do anything about it but it upsets him a lot and he knows no amount of consoling can gratify me at that time.I hate to put him in such a spot,after all he too misses on being a father.
Iam a stronger person now,better yet,I have become stone like in matters such as these.The more mushy a feeling ,the more tough I become.Some people get me and some people think Im lucky coz I have no sleepless nights to suffer,no deliveries and pains to go through,no endless listening to babytalks and caring for a baby.If they only knew what I went through each time someone cuddled their child,each time they ran up and down to please their child,each time they stood proud at small feats like their baby standing holding onto a table.Im a good actress,my husband is a witness to my oscar worthy art.So I stand looking very happy,very jovial as if nothing makes me feel bad.Its a difficult role to play but I have learnt to play it like the breeze.
So sometimes I wonder my parents just cut me out so easily though I was in their life for almost 24 years and here I mourn an egg.Im sure they have their solid reasons and I dont hate them for it.They have their right to hate me but I dont.I have loved them and will continue to do so.I have never cared for what others have to say over anything coz I dont owe anyone anything neither do they.My folks have the right to their anger and their thoughts and feelings.
I was a bit upset and since my hubby isnt around to hear me rant on and on ,I thought getting it off my chest and mind would put me at ease.

Sex : F

A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

' Mommy ,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'

'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.

'It's not polite.'

'OK', the little girl says,

'How much do you weigh?'

'Now really,' the mother says,

'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'

Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'

'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

' My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her


'Well,' says the friend,

'all you need to do is look at her driver's license.

It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'

Later that night the little girl says to her mother,

'I know how old you are. You are 32.'

The mother is surprised and asks,

'How did you find that out?

'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'

The mother is past surprised and shocked now.

'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'

'And,' the little girl says triumphantly,

'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'

'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'

'Because you got an F in sex.'

I wonder what grade my husband would give me.He giggles whenever I ask him stuff like this.MAybe like all men he knows....that the last thing he wants is to have practice abstinence before getting into his middle age.

I could never ask my mom any of this stuff.She refrained from answering anything that involved the word sex,hot,body,sexy,etc.She would pretend to have gone temperarily deaf or sometimes she would pretend to be in a mommy was a typical 1930s old-fashioned woman.

I once remember renting the movie "chandni bar".I just heard that it was good and Tabu was the heroine.I innocently brought it home after work one day and started watching with my folks doing their usual stuff (watering plants,cleaning)around me.I was a bit shocked initially but when one of the women in the bar joked about her friend being a khula railway ka tabba,koi bhi ander bahar jata parents freaked out and I got a bashing of a lifetime.The woman in the movie didnt finish her lines and my folks went on to lecture and shout and scold and threaten my existence for the next 2 days.I told them I had no idea what the movie was about...I didnt imagine it would be so realistic and blunt.

hehehheh....after that I always ask the rentals," bhai saab ! ma baap ke samne dekh saktha hai ya nai? " He smiled realising the fact that like many I too have overbearing parents.And he would always give his final approval,"ye nai...wo bacha party type wala le lo!"

Thoughts after a teeny break...

Almost a week had gone by,I didnt bother to renew my internet services so I could blog,farm or anything.I have been quite busy for the past few days and the first thing I did was check my emails and read any updated blogs.

Oh I had no idle pursuits to carry on with, just plain tiring housework.I like to feel drained at the end of the day,gives me a sense of having lived and not wasted precious breaths doing nothing.No Im not accusing anyone,its like Im assuring myself that I have served a purpose for the day.This way,I dont get lazy and try to keep fit by doing things and being constantly on the move.

I have been catching up on movies.Of course they are all gone off the charts but I try to make time to watch a movie at a stretch.Im usually bits.I watched Ninja assassins and was stupified at all the blood gushing from the neck,thighs and heart.It was all gore alright but the fight sequences,my gosh,those men can really fight.Imagine the discipline,the strength and the practice that goes into doing all that martial fighting.My jaw was literally just hanging.Wow,If i had half the will power to do basic sit ups,my! This world would be a different place.

But Im a big fan of vampires,always have been.They amaze me.Even though its all fiction ,I dont mind spending my sleeping time dreaming of being a vampire.My husband always teases me,he asks me would I really want to be a vampire.Being impulsive ,I know I would turn in a heart beat.Now ask me why? hehehe...For the soul reason to travel all over the world without having to worry about expenses.and If Im able to control my urges the way Angel did in the vampire series , or the way Stefan does in The vampire Diaries,would try to do some good wherever I could.I would eventually get bored to live for long and suffer at the thought of having lost all my loved ones.Plus vampires are naughty and sexy and I think Im too.( batting eyelashes severely to give an angelic effect).

They say you feel like what you think you are.If I think Im hot,Im gonna feel  like a million bucks.Its all in your mind,you are what you think.Everyone doesnt think the world of themselves.It takes a while.I tried my best to do whatever my folks told me as a kid,but when I started living on my own,I discovered my true potential.As I growing,I was ragged,ill treated,had low self esteem,no guts to stand up for myself,It took everything to realise that I was weak and Only I could change it all.So you have to do it all on your on.I like the way Im now.Yeah ! its not I think too much of myself but liking yourself truly is the first step to breaking all negative shackles.

Im looking forward to a very non productive weekend.I want to relax.I dont want to hang out at a shopping mall and buy stuff coz I cant do anything else.Just want to sit in front of the beach and hear the waves and relax my mind,give it a break and rejuvenate my senses.They work too hard to make everything perfect and it too needs to feel a bit wasted.:>

You know what I really want to do this weekend -  I want to wear red lipstick,I want to sit and discuss something intelligent,not baby poop,shopping,food..but about the Iceland ash,about children in Africa dying because of hunger or what Oprah was discussing about.Thats what I miss about college get to learn something.Now all I hear is constipation,diarrhoea,...its a welcome topic at times but sometimes it gets just too repetitive.Mothers too need their outlet but all the time......nah!

Well,thats from me for the time being.Its a bit too late and my back is hurting.

May 6, 2010

Day out yesterday!

Many people dont seem to have the time to stop.Everyone is running around to catch upto something.And if you're a working man,well,its a race from morning till night,meeting deadlines,coming home to kids and families,fulfilling office needs and home needs.

I have always loved looking at people.It may seem odd but actually you get to learn so much.You dont become an observant person sitting on your ass.You need to work on it.My favourite subjects are children.They are so uninhibited and not so aware.So they behave the way they always do.No pretentions there.

After that,its teenagers.Teenagers are too into themselves to be aware of their surroundings.Its their outfits and boys that they worry. and vice versa.
Moms make an interesting subjects too especially if they are with kids,babies and toddlers.

Then come men and women.If they are working they seem different and if they are free from all shackles,they are different.But they are boring to me coz studying them requires lots of effort and one cannot do that coz you dont want to be staring.Plus my husband would go mad,if some guy were smiling back at me.

But that doesnt stop me,its a hobby of mine.

Yesterday I had been out shopping.I just browsed through the store,bought few hair clips,got bored and came out and sat by the steps at the entrance for an hour.My husband was running late and so I just sat there looking at kids with their moms.

Most of the moms who stopped by with their kids,dressed up so well with makeup on and looked so hip.Their kids were drssed up so well.They had the cutest outfits and their bottoms looked so round and cute with those diapers.Kids tend to walk like ducks with diapers on and I find that damn cute.

There are these big automated machines playtoys for kids inside the store into which you insert coins and they play for a whole 10 minutes,and the kids seemed so excited as they arrived.they ran up the stairs,shouting at their moms to be quick.The moms were yelling not to run around,they kept running behind them to catch up with them,they see ice cream trucks and then its 10 minutes of wailing loudly to get one.Then there were these 2 kids who wanted to pee and couldnt control themselves.2yr old boys...hehehhehe..they started unzipping their pants..Their moms screaming dont you dare all the while and then they running after them to catch hold of them to take them to the loo and they discovered the store didnt have one.The moms rushed out,one made her 2 yr old pee by the car at the end of the parking lot and the other boy surprisingly after being given one chocolate forgot that he  had to pee even.

There was this almost 2 yr old whose hand was held by his mom.They were standing at the top of these stairs at the store entrance.Thank God for her holding his hand tight coz out of nowhere he lunged forward and hung horizontal to the ground.If she hadnt held him tight,he would have broken his face on those stairs.His mom started scolding him and all the time he was laughing so cutely as if he had done something great.

The strange thing was,the moms didnt look startled.They were calm and collected and I guess when you have 2 kids or more,it pretty natural to have seen all weirdness in kids.They were not overcome with exhaustion or helplessness.Most of the women knew each other and they seemed so glad to run into each other.They giggled,discussed what they shopped,talked about their homes and kids and then parted ways with a smile.

I saw teenage boys,laughing loudly and walking around like they were stars.They had these spiky hairdos and with every girl passing by,their volumes would rise and they would laugh amongst themselves.

I was last a teenager - 14 years ago.Now Im an middle aged woman.hehehehhhe.....But I wear myself proud,I have learnt a whole lot and wear my wisdom well I think.I dont act like a 20 yr old...I act my age but I keep my heart and thoughts young.When you sit among teens,you tend to feel old and you think of them as stupid.Click the right buttons and you can have an interesting conversation with them which will give you an insight as to how teens and their life and their challenges are nowadays.

Now we'll talk about Sharing experinces,sharing your observations is an experience too right !

Newly married couples are a no no..they tend to be frightened at the slightest lecture on married life.They either roll their eyes  because they usually feel that this or that will never happen to them.Its all gonna be rosy.Talk to them 2 years later and they will say,"You were telling the truth,it took me a while to realise."

Many people dont listen to others experiences,they think of it as useless lectures.They will still go ahead and do it and after sometime when alls simmered down,they will say you had told me so but I didnt listen,If I only had.I have learnt not share my pearls of wisdom freely anymore.People dont respect that.My policy now is if someone asks for it,tell them once .

Iam not a risk taker as such but when I firmly believe in something,I go ahead and do it anyways.

Thats from me...i have so much to do and warming my butt in front of the PC will not do my chores.

May 5, 2010

Experiences !

We learn some of the best lessons in life in sometimes horrible ways.I dont remember any of it being funny at the time.I usually remember having a feeling of great regret and I guess when you have this feeling overcome your senses you know an experience has been born.

We try never to commit a mistake like that again.Sometimes we think of doing something and someone interjects you not to do it,you tend to think real hard.But then you soemtimes end up doing it thinking it doesnt have to be the same ending for everyone.

I have done my share of major mistakes which Im not proud of but have learnt to put it behind me.But with age I have learnt to judge situations beforehand,before i get them dirty.:> Sometimes Its a good call but sometimes with other people interfering it doesnt work out.

I remember I had been to a bachelorette party with a couple of girlfriends once.I didnt know what tequilla was back then and my girlfriend and I ended up having 4 straight shots and surprise...we passed out in seconds,missed the entire party and had to be literally carried home by the bride's strong brothers and dropped at the doorstep.I got up the following morning with a major headache called hangover and had to hear lectures for days on end from my brother 5 years my junior.
So what did I learn,that sometimes alcohol and me dont mix well.Especially if in unknown company.I still dont know what a bachelorette party is ! hehehheh!

So this is the most embarrasing funny experience for me.There are painful ones as well but no,cannot open up old wounds and discuss about it.

May 1, 2010


I finally got a chance yesterday to catch up with my girlfriends.It was fun.We ate,sat together and talked.The kids were so excited coz they knew that a get together like this meant going out.The men knew that this meant they would be losing a couple of greenery from their pocket.

We went out shopping.Nothing fancy ,we bought some accessories and then I bought something to go with my jeans.But its not just the stuff part..its actually the endless giggling ,whispering into one another's ears,discussing if some was worth buying or not,whether it will look good or not,endless yelling at kids to not stray away from us,the looks our husbands give when we buy something wondering whether she will really wear this or just throw it away into her cupboard,etc.

My hubby rarely accompanies me when I shop even though among all my girlfriends Im the one who takes the least time to shop for something.I know what I want and I go to buy just that.I shock my husband when Im done shopping in half an hour.I actually take longer in the supermarket coz Im always reading labels,ingredients,directions,etc.I like to explore new stuff on the shelves.I may go into a biscuits aisle and will be there for more than 20 mins coz I pick out my fav choco biscuits and then I wonder if I will be able to overcome my urge of eating them off whenever I lay my eyes on them.So should I buy them or forget it? Its not the pounds I care for,I never have at any point in my life! I may bicker over it but never consider losing it.But now Im prone to diabetes so have to be very careful.

But every outing with friends isnt that great.Sometimes,you're tired or too bored to cheer yourself up even.If you regularly go out,you tend to get bored easily...coz you just dont know how to entertain yourself having been to every possible place.So Im happy about yesterday coz I had tons of fun.Thanks to God for such blessings.