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Some Funny things !

I found this article online and found it to be almost truthful and funny at the same time.See if you share the same feeling and please dont be offended in any way.

Why Breed?

Reasons given : I can’t help it, it’s a biological urge.

Real reasons  : Unexamined motivations.

Suggested alternatives  : Institutions await those who can’t control

                                    their biological urges.

Reasons given : Want to give our parents grandchildren.

Real reasons : Still seeking parental approval.

Suggested alternatives : Live your own life and encourage your parents to do the same.

Reasons given : I just love children.

Real reasons : Out of touch with inner child, and with existing children.

Suggested alternatives : Adopt, step, and foster parenting.

Big Brother/Sister. Work with children, teach.

Reasons given : I have superior human genes.

Real reasons : Doesn’t recognize an oxymoron.


Suggested alternatives : Do great things with your genes, rather than expecting the next cultured batch to do it.

Reasons given : Need help on farm or in family business.

Real reasons : Too cheap to hire help.

Child labor laws inconvenient.

Suggested alternatives : Mechanization gives faster return on investment.

Reasons given : Want someone to care for me in my old age.

Real reasons : Fear of aging.

Exploitative personality.

Suggested alternatives : Save money and prepare for retirement. Be nice to people so they will visit you in the home.

Reasons given : Pregnancy and childbirth are life experiences.

Real reasons :  Life choices limited by social indoctrination.

Suggested alternatives : Rent pregnancy simulator. Choose different life experiences.

Reasons given : A good family is essential to career advancement and strong standing in the community.

Real reasons : Social insecurity. Wants trophy children to improve social status.

Suggested alternatives : Rent children from talent agency on special occasions. Have white picket fence installed.

Reasons given : We want to create a life which embodies our love for each other.

Real reasons : Ego, times two, minus imagination, equals three plus.

Suggested alternatives : Garden. Adopt a stream, trail, or hiway. Rescue animals. Protect & restore ecosystems to embody love.

Reasons given : I want my kids (who don’t exist yet) to have all the things I didn’t have.

Real reasons : Unfulfilled childhood desires and fantasies.

Suggested alternatives : Deal with regrets & make best of life. Provide for existing children.

Reasons given : To carry on family name.

Real reasons : Trying to please Dad.

Duped by bloodline superstition.

Suggested alternatives : Create something enduring & give it family name. Donate blood to pass on bloodline.

Reasons given : Want to see a little me.

Real reasons : Self-absorption. Lack of ego gratification.

Suggested alternatives : Order custom-made, life-like doll.

Create a gratifying life of your own.

Reasons given : God wants us to.

Real reasons : Mindless obedience to dogma peddlers who want larger flocks.

Suggested alternatives : Seek true nature of God, whatever you perceive God to be.

Reasons given : My wife/husband wants a baby.

Real reasons : Giving in out of fear of losing partner.

Suggested alternatives : Communicate true desires. Spouse may feel you’re the one who wants to breed. Rent baby simulator doll.

Reasons given : Want a child with our bloodline.

Real reasons : Ego extension. Racial identity.

Suggested alternatives : Recognize value of people with different genetic makeups.

Reasons given : It’s a spiritual thing for me.

Real reasons : Other reasons too easily refuted.

Suggested alternatives : Find truly spiritual experiences.

Reasons given : I’ve always wanted to have children, it’s what people do.

Real reasons : Unquestioned cultural conditioning.

Suggested alternatives : Consider alternatives. Question expectations. Adopt.

Reasons given : To cement our relationship.

Real reasons : Fear of failed marriage.

Suggested alternatives : Communicate to strengthen relationship. Attend retreats for bonding couples.

Reasons given : I love babies.

Real reasons : Short-sighted view of reality.

Suggested alternatives : Babies soon turn into children, then adults. Infant care work is available. Life-like infant doll may help.

Reasons given : Being a mother is a woman’s highest calling.

Real reasons : Beguiled into believing compliance is noble free choice.

Suggested alternatives : Motherhood, and fatherhood, may be achieved without breeding. Many children wait for good homes.

Reasons given : My child could find a way to save the world.

Real reasons : “Mother of God” complex. (Also applies to men).

Suggested alternatives : If you want something done right, do it yourself.

Reasons given : We’d like to try for a boy/girl this time.

Real reasons : Ego extension. Gender identity insecurity. Dissatisfaction with existing offspring.

Suggested alternatives : Appreciate who you have, they might resent their sibling whose gender is preferred.

Reasons given : I just want to.

Real reasons : Just wants to.

Suggested alternatives : Choosing to breed precludes most other things you’ll just want to do.

Reasons given : I want someone who will love me and not leave me.

Real reasons : Fear of rejection. Unresolved relationship issues.

Suggested alternatives : Give love to get love. Accept change and deal with loss.

Reasons given : Our economy needs young workers to replace retired workers.

Real reasons : Willing to sacrifice offspring to gods of National Economy.

Suggested alternatives : Automation reduces need for wage slaves. Consider rights of unconceived to stay that way.

Reasons given : The world needs more of us or we’ll be outnumbered.

Real reasons : Elitism. Xenophobia. Eugenics easier to conceal than genocide.

Suggested alternatives : Convert others to your views so there’ll be one more of your kind and one less of Them.

Reasons given : We may as well, the planet is doomed anyway.

Real reasons : Nihilistic natalism.

Suggested alternatives : Consider ethics of sentencing an innocent person to life, and death, in ecological collapse.

Reasons given : I’d like to achieve a sense of immortality.

Real reasons : Fear of death and non-existence.

Suggested alternatives : Accept mortality. Spread memes not genes. Socrates’ heirs are not apparent, but his ideas linger strong.

Reasons given : My biological clock has gone off.

Real reasons : Women’s normal heightened sexual desire in 30s & 40s difficult to accept in puritanical societies.

Suggested alternatives : Disarm that culturally-implanted mental time bomb. It’s okay to make love and not babies.

Reasons given : I don’t know.

Real reasons : Never thought about it. Unthinking conformity.

Suggested alternatives : Think before you breed, and you might not.

Reasons given : I might regret not having had the experience later, when it’s too late.

Real reasons : Fear of future worries and life passing too fast.

Suggested alternatives : We can’t experience everything. Far better to regret not breeding than to regret breeding

Reasons given : I do not want to deny my kids (who do not exist yet) the joy of existence.

Real reasons : Ignoring lack of joy in existing children.

Suggested alternatives : Promote existence of joy rather than imagining joy in mere existence.

Reasons given : Procreation has traditionally been a source of personal empowerment for women.

Real reasons : Feels powerless. Desires power and respect society appears to give to mothers and withholds from others.

Suggested alternatives : Mothers get more lip service than respect. Picking up family’s slack is not empowering. Seek self-defined sources of power.


  1. funny. esp teh following two:

    Suggested alternatives : Create something enduring & give it family name. Donate blood to pass on bloodline.

    Reasons given : I do not want to deny my kids (who do not exist yet) the joy of existence.
    Real reasons : Ignoring lack of joy in existing children.


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