Colors of my thoughts

”You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.”  –  Bob Marley ”Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” –  African proverb ”Our strength grows out of our weaknesses.”  –  Ralph Waldo Emerson ”The pain started years ago, but I’d lived with it for so long at that point that I’d accepted it as an inevitable part of me.” –  Diwakar Sharma ”It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience.” –  Julius Caesar This is for you out there. No matter what is killing you within, never ever give up. Cry it out Take a break. Go out into nature. Talk to yourself. Be lenient with your judgement of you. You are not a waste of space. You are not a void. Give yourself some love. You don't like where you are, curse it off and make an effort to move somewhere else. You cant do that physically, seek help. Technology has brought the world at your fingertips. Use...

Another year has gone by...17+ to be exact and I'm still that woman without kids. Ever since I was 13, I dreamt I would be a mom. An awesome mom. I was good with kids, loved children a lot and already set strategies to raise the best kids in the world. I wanted at least 2. 12 years later, I wasted no time in "Let's wait for a year, enjoy the freedom and then have kids." I straight away jumped into trying and now...have given up. Given up because I had a hysterectomy 3 years ago as my life would have taken a traumatic turn for the worse if I hadn't. But for the 14 years that I had my uterus, I just hoped that someday maybe miraculously I would have my own baby, who I would love to bits. Walking past the baby shops and looking at those tiny clothes and gadgets...Even now I still walk into a store and hold baby clothes. I just bite my lip hard to avoid tearing up in public. Or stuffing a pillow in your dress and looking at the mirror thinking of endless possibili...

Yesterday I experienced a moonlit night in the proper sense. I reside in the middle east, so stars and proper darkness is something we never have around us. There were days on end when I would look out my window and wonder what a star-filled night sky really looked like. “Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,  Tears from the depths of some divine despair Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,  In looking on the happy autumn fields,  And thinking of the days that are no more.”  ―  Alfred Lord Tennyson A couple of years ago, there was a mention of shooting stars which could be seen ona certain date. So my husband and I left for what seemed like an eternity somewhere close to the border of Saudi Arabia I guess. There were a few scattered camps around and after a certain distance, the complete absence of street lights and then total darkness. We both were just shocked, yes shocked is the word, coz I had never seen these man...