Oct 16, 2010

If I had a 24 hours to live....

I will not hide the fact that I copied this topic from my friend's blog,Sujatha satya. Sorry Suji,but its great topic.

It reminded me of this Queen Latifa film in which she is told she has a few months to live and her mistaken MRI report,sets her off on this dream she wanted to live before she died.In the movie,its going to the salon and having a makeover of her face.Cosmetics wise that is.SHe goes to a haute couture store and buys some of the fine outfits that make her look like a hot femme fatale.By the way,I admire the fact she respects her body and loves it for being plus size.She is an inspiration to me.I dont yearn to look skinny but have always loved my flubber blubber body.I did want to have a thin frame alright but its just not in my genes.So I do love what I have.

Now if I found out I had 24 hours to live,what would I do?

I probably would cry for a solid 30 minutes because I didnt want to die at all.I would curse everything around and if it turned out that it was because of my own doing,like poor diet or an health issue which I could have taken care but was lazy too,I would cry harder.If it was cancer or some disease which took over and then ,after crying for 30 mins,I would finally accept my fate and do what I wanted to do.

Taking my husband to India would be a difficult task,so most probably I would do that alone.I would go for a few hours,meet my folks,reconcile,tell my good byes and come back straight to kuwait.

In the meantime,when tickets are being booked,I would go to a wonderful restaurant with my husband,eat cake and eat to glory some of my favourite dishes.

I would book a suite in the best hotel and make passionate love to my husband one last time and cry with him.All this would take almost 2 hours by which time,I would go to india,meet my folks for 2 hours and take the next flight back to kuwait within the hour.

By the time Im back,I will have my sister and brother invited with all my friends to my favourite beach spot,where I will have arranged a fantastic banquet for all and we will eat,say my good byes,kiss all of them,wish them my heartiest.

I would shop at the best spot and buy that one outfit which makes me look like a goddess and have my hubby dress in a suit.I would tell everyone to leave us alone and go to the beach with my hubby where I will tell him all what I want to.I will command him to grieve for a few months for me before he decides to remarry.I will hug him and kiss him and ask him to hold me tight and not let go.

There will be a lot of crying,unbelivable crying from my side especially and I would discuss my funeral too.I would want a tree to be planted over my grave or by the side of it.

During this whole time,I would click 1000s of pictures and tell my husband to keep them as memories forever.

In the evening,with few hours left,I would not entertain anyone else,I would return to my home and sleep by my husband's side and ask him to hold me and tell me I love you a gazillion times until I breathe my last.

I would pray too for forgiveness of sins and say my last prayers but would still want to leave this world hearing an I love you in my ear from my husband.

Talking about death is painful for me.I have seen a man ,in his mid 20s,dying.He prayed hard,he read the bible continuously,he cried and prayed for strength.But then the day,we went to meet him,he saw my dad and completely broke down.He was in pain and most of all I saw fear in his eyes.He cried loudly saying he didnt want to die.It was too much for me to handle and he died a few weeks after that.I think he was 24 at the most and I was 19 back then.I thought to myself,he shouldnt have known about his illness,maybe then he would die in peace.

I had an aunt who died of uterine cancer.A beautiful healthy woman,who didnt know about her cancer.By the time,she was diagnosed of final stage of cancer,she had lost over 50 kg weight within a couple of months.She wasnt informed till the very last if Im not mistaken and she spoke of getting better soon.She too died a few days after I last saw her.That too was just too much to handle for me.I was 14 or maybe 15.

Its hard to come to terms with death and my hubby says one should fear death because it is the only thing that makes us all humble and know we are after God's creation,come from dust and to be returned to dust.

I always think to myself,that in the last moment ,I have enough time to say my good byes and love yous and be able to say my last prayer and die with dignity.

I wrote all this in 10 minutes without blinking I think.


  1. man..u deserve an award for timemanagement!!
    24 hours ^ a long list of things accomplished!practical too! kudos!
    plus,tothink that u wrote allof this in 10 minutes flat...u seem to have been waiting for a push to get all these thoughts outof your ehart almost

  2. Actually,I finished this blog,I was struck with the thought that if my end was near,the only person who mattered the most to me was my husband.Not my folks,nor my siblings.I realised,he is the key factor for everything in my life.Like yours were Tanvi and Satya.I discuss such things with my husabnd all the time,he thinks Im a nutjob and that Im saying it for fun.But nah! We all should think about death every now and then.You tend to live a decent and full life.Not afraid to live the moment when you want to.

  3. Hi Suzaan where are you? Is everything okay? Keep logging in here to check for updates


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