I was 14 years old and totally infatuated for the first time with this boy in the neighbourhood.He never spoke properly to me,ignored me and never gave me a second glance.I didnt understand what I felt ,all I knew was I blushed around him for some reason.I would sit by the beach and look at the moving river and if I happen to catch a glimpse of him,my heart would pound heavily but I kept saying to myself,this is wrong.Im too young for such sinful thoughts.So this was all I did,blush and look away ,scared that one day he would see me ogling.
I watched all these hindi movies where the girl and boy,played to hard to get and finally after some running around beautiful flowers,some dancing in the rain,some good deeds and faith,they fell in love and like all the love struck girls,I waited for my prince charming to come to my aid.
I always wanted a guy to fall in love with me first,give me flowers,take me out and be head over heels in love with me.I couldnt imagine any other way.Eventhough,it wasnt unusual for a girl to ask a boy out,I preferred being old-fashioned and not the modern crap about equality and going dutch at a restaurant.I prefer equality in terms of respect for one another,Consideration in matters big or small,not looking down on another and having faith in the decisions of life and matter.
I loved the feeling of falling in love.Not being in love but the falling part of it.The mornings seem to feel like full of love and you catch yourself smiling every now and then when you think of beautiful moments.Even the breeze on your face seems like a caress.You want to dress up and look good.Everyone around notices your joy and glow on your face and you love the world around you.You dont feel hungry,you dont get angry and nothing can get you low.I loved it all.I walked around with my headphones and mixed tapes even when I went out for walks.
Marriage can be a strong foundation but once you're through that phase,that falling in love becomes nothing more than a distant memory which you reminisce every now and then when you sit with friends or when you get together on that extra romantic time.I think its these very memories that make you step foward in your marital life and give you assurance and reminders that all what we worked for,has been this very moment in which you live.
Falling in love is a feeling not restricted to your partner or boyfriend,it extends to your children as well.They are a part of you,your legacy.How you are as a person,shapes their personality,makes them the people they are.To this very day,I remember how my dad teased my mom and how they laughed together.They fought like cats and dogs as well, so there are a little marrings to the wonderful memories.From this I learnt that I want to make good ,funny memories for ourselves.When I grow old,I want us to sit together and be thankful to God and each other for having had great lives.My husband finds it annoying as do all the men,that I keep saying I love you all the time.He goes like you are handing out free gifts or what ! So Im like,I feel like saying it,you have a problem,keep it to yourself.Now he chuckles saying you're nuts.
This may read surreal as we are living problematic lives with no time to spare,but think of it,at least for a good 10 minutes when you're free.If you arent happy,work on it little by little ,one day at a time, at loving life and seeing the positive part of it.Try to see the good in the situation coz everything happens for a reason.All the vying is not getting you anywhere,all that work in a relationship isnt getting you anywhere,all that self depriving,that anger....All your efforts arent fetching results....try looking at it in a different way,accept what is and see how you can improvise,in making it better.You only live once in this world and can never come back to change to relive it.Love your life and make others around love it too.For those who are already happy with it all,God bless.
yes always nice to fall in love :)
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