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Showing posts from January, 2012

Happy marriages Final part

Eclipsed by Expectations


What's most noticeable about Sarah and Mark Holdt of Estes Park, Colorado, is their many differences. "He's a Republican, I'm a Democrat. He's a traditional Christian, I'm an agnostic. He likes meat and potatoes, I like more adventurous food," says Sarah. So Mark heads off to church and Bible study every week, while Sarah takes a "Journeys" class that considers topics like the history of God in America. "When he comes home, I'll ask, 'What did you learn in Bible Study?'" she says. And she'll share her insights from her own class with him.


But when Sarah wants to go to a music festival and Mark wants to stay home, "I just go," says Sarah. "I don't need to have him by my side for everything." He's there when it matters most—at home, at the dinner table, in bed. "We both thrive on touch," says Sarah, "so we set our alarm a half hour early every morning an…

Happy Marriages Part - 3

The Way Things Are


Romance itself seeds the eventual belief that we have chosen the wrong partner. The early stage of a relationship, most marked by intense attraction and infatuation, is in many ways like a happiness, and we don't blame them for our unhappiness. We take responsibility for the expectations that we carry, for our own negative emotional reactions, for our own insecurities, and for our own dark moods."


But instead of looking at ourselves, or understanding the fantasies that bring us to such a pass, we engage in a thought process that makes our differences tragic and intolerable, says William Doherty. It's one thing to say, "I wish my spouse were more into the arts, like I am." Or, "I wish my partner was not just watching TV every night but interested in getting out more with me." That's something you can fix.

It's quite another to say, "This is intolerable. I need and deserve somebody who shares my core interests." The t…

Happy Marriages Part - 2

Are You with the Right Mate?


Elliott Katz was stunned to find himself in the middle of a divorce after two kids and 10 years of marriage. The Torontonian, a policy analyst for the Ottawa government, blamed his wife. "She just didn't appreciate all I was doing to make her happy." He fed the babies, and he changed their diapers. He gave them their baths, he read them stories, and put them to bed. Before he left for work in the morning, he made them breakfast. He bought a bigger house and took on the financial burden, working evenings to bring in enough money so his wife could stay home full-time.

He thought the solution to the discontent was for her to change. But once on his own, missing the daily interaction with his daughters, he couldn't avoid some reflection. "I didn't want to go through this again. I asked whether there was something I could have done differently. After all, you can wait years for someone else to change."

What he decided was, indee…

Happy Marriage - Part 1

This blog post is going to be divided into many parts because I don't want it to seem very long and thus make it seem to boring to read.
Now most of my readers and friends are married,are 30+ and with children.I have known my husband for almost 11 years now and like everyone knows,marriage after a couple of years is something one has to work on to keep it cheerful,filled with bliss,spicy,so as to avoid the rut one falls into after monotonous way of living.

I found this very interesting article which I think is a good read both for learning and understanding ourselves and our partners and our marriages.
My husband and I come from totally different backgrounds and have lived contrast lives in our past.It has been difficult but we were happy to adjust,compromise.Our likes and dislikes may differ invariably but this is has strengthened our relationship over the years.(AlHamdullilah)We have learnt to accept our differences and yet be respectful of each others decisions.Learnt giving eac…

Heart Attack

I had been wanting to write on this topic for quite some time but now with constant bombardment of doctor shows and health shows regarding this topic,I think it has to be finally written.


Many of us think that heart attack is limited to people who have crossed 50 but with the kind of lifestyle we live,thanks to the damn modernisation in every aspect of our life, what we call luxury ,is the eternal damnation of of our so called lazy lives.

Women are prone to heart attacks now compared to men and this is one thing that's always in news out here.Woman,age 32,died of a massive heart heart attack.Has left behind 3 kids less than 10 yrs of age.Man died of heart attack,43 yrs old.Body to be sent home in 3 days.its actually become a very common thing nowadays.

I was saved by the bell last year and coming to think of it,I actually thought I was invincible before all this coz I wasn't even 34 yet.As it will be explained later on in the blog, Please don't be a hypochondriac but consi…

Sadness

Today,I was very very sad.I don't know if its the medication withdrawal that's getting me depressed or if I'm just upset with life.I cried my eyes out for a good half an hour.I tried not to but I just couldn't get a hold over my emotions.I felt vulnerable,like a bruise that has been cut open again.I felt I would burst open,my heart would just tear wide,I felt this huge anchor of depression on my soul,that I just cried.I spoke to God,complained about all the people I'm bugged with,All the situations I'm tired of,All the emptiness I feel and why I was finding it very hard to be grateful for anything !

“I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.”

Augusten Burroughs, Dry

What do you do when you are so upset and are not able to hold it all within the palms of your hand? I coul…

Our Supporters

I always wondered with all the kind of lingerie we have on market today,did women a 100 years ago even bother about it? Which led me to check some sites out regarding brassiere.My mom always called it brassiere,and I would wonder how odd the word sounded !


To my surprise,brassieres were in vogue in the 14th century.In the Ming dynasty era,in China,bra like garments were worn by the upper class women,which was a foundation cloth complete with cups and straps drawn over shoulders and tied to the girth seam at the lower back .

Towards the late 19th century,girdles were invented for woman which tightened the lower Torso,which I'm guessing was to give a thin waist look and that suspended the breasts from the shoulder for the upper torso.These girdles and corsets were even made of metal and had elaborate screws and tightening and while the traditional corset needed the services of another to tighten them,the metal ones were introduced ,so that the woman could tighten and wear the corset…

People in your life.

Most of us who live abroad,have no relatives or family living around us.We are all alone ,the ultimate nuclear family.Its just us and the friends we make over the years.In my life,I haven't lived in joint family.Only when I visited India once in 4 or 5 years,I would spend almost a month with nanima or dadima's home and as usual ,we lived liked guests.The entire month went attending dinners and luncheons and brunches with every known relative.Either we were treating or were being treated to.But as kids,it was the change in atmosphere and environment that held our fascination,not the relatives itself.

Out here,before the first gulf war,my parents would have a lunch parties every Friday.Elaborate meals were cooked,"Rummy" was played,new movies were watched and every gossip was discussed.It would range from movies,to people getting engaged or expecting children and other weekend parties.Even though the cost of living and stuff wasn't expensive,money was one issue nob…

AWARD

Its always a wonderful surprise and an honour to receive an award,especially when it comes from a someone you don't know.Thank you Leo Paw.Also I would like to apologise that I had received this honour a while back but as the rules mentioned,15 different bloggers had to be nominated and awarded as well,so I had to to postpone it all.

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The rules that are passed on to me along with the award:


1. Nominate 15 Fellow Bloggers

2. Inform the Bloggers of their nomination

3. Share 7 random things about yourself

4. Thank the Blogger who nominated you

5. Add the Versatile Blog Award picture to your blog post

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A few of the blogs that I always read have been handed this award already.So I don't have 15 readers.

Im nominating :-

1. Sujatha Satya - Conversations
2. http://ruchikrandhap.blogspot.com/
3. http://slowingthecircles.blogspot.com/
4. http://jyotimi.blogspot.com/ - by Jyothi Mishra
5. http:…

Birthing

Babies are sent from heaven or are distributed by angels as gifts from God to parents in the hospital.That's what my parents told me when my sister was going to arrive.Most of us are mothers at this point,some to one or more and some still hoping to have one someday.I come in the latter group.But I know that it is one experience every parent hopes to have when they want to bring a living testament of her love into the world.

I have heard my share of birthing stories.Some women say it was like juggling in the arms of death and coming back while some simply put it as the one thing we have to go through to bring our babies.Some love to explain everything in so much detail that you can picture a 3D movie while they narrate it.And some just go,"Well,it was hard work,but no pain ,no gain.I don't regret anything ,I just wanted to see my baby." Its okay to listen to these episodes until it becomes a competition,"I had 3 stitches,but I had 7,I was in pain for a month,but …

Oranges

I decided to begin 2012 with a healthy note.Now I love oranges.They are a staple in my life.It all began when we were toddlers.My dad wanted us to be healthy,prevent us from nose bleeds because of the intense summers and heaty foods,like so many parents do,so they gave a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice our whole life,everyday that is until we got married and left our nest.Every morning it began with a glass of the holy juice,even before we brushed our teeth.Out of the 3,I was the fussier one and had to be beaten at times,to make me finish a glass of it.I would cry swearing they actually added salt into the juice to make it taste so bitter.How come it didn't taste like sunkist or the juices available in the market?

For a long time,I would just hope that juice wouldn't be squeezed.That my dad would wake up late.Then I got married and ever since the day,I would think of the one thing I never wanted to do.Orange juice.To such and extent,I started buying oranges and buying f…