Aug 9, 2011

Bully

I have been thinking about bullying for some time,I think it was Sujatha mentioning about crying a lot as a kid and all.I think most of us have been bullied at some point or the other.Some of us got through it with ease,some of us just took it all in and damaged ourself in time while some took it to extreme levels and ruined it for many or just ourselves.


I have watched a great deal of documentaries and programs and come to the conclusion,that most of the bullys are actually people who had it hard at home or are complete brats to others existence.They had deprived moments,witnesses painful existence themselves and therefore,not knowing to create a healthy outlet,just dumped it all on others who seemed weak or simplistic.

I come from a very over protective family,where my folks made it a point that unlike thier young lives,we wouldnt have to go through any pain or take any bad decisions on our own and endure any pain.Since all my decisions right upto the age of 12 were made by my folks,I lived a pretty stressfree life and unaware of the big bad world I was doomed to face with no choice.Then the war happened and due to financial strains,my folks decided the best thing for me was to live in a hostel.Education couldnt be uninterrupted no matter what,it was on top of everything...Like my mom would always say," All you have to do is study well,eat well and get good grades,you dont have any other stuff to worry about."

Since my mom lived ina hostel too for a coule of years as a kid,I thought she couldnt be wrong.Maybe there is nothing indeed to worry about.My folks are the kind of people who didnt talk much about their lives as kids or adults and thought ,thus,it shouldnt affect us in any way.

But it did.It changed me a lot.It made me the strong hearted,perhaps,stone hearted.

When i joined the hostel,besides living my treadful nightmare,of living away from my folks without being prepared for anything,I landed in a room of actual capacity 4 but was stuffed with 12.One had to wash their own undergarments and home clothes,ne had to visit the loo that had a 60 watt bulb which lit 6 toilets.I had to make new friends who seem to come from all parts of India,who looked at me as if I were an alien.I may have seemed to be "that kid from the gulf" but I was lonely,heart broken,super confused and alienated.

I never touched a detergent in my life,I had never been in a dark place.And within a couple of months things started going wrong.This girl,a classmate,started bullying me.I wont mention names here but she would go like," Dont act all innocent ok", "dont overact ok", "dont be over smart ok","Just because you came from abroad,doesnt mean you are superior".....If I did well in class or was praised by a teacher..I was being oversmart??? If someone took a shine to me,she would go all nuts and ask people not to talk to me.I cried all the time,I wanted to run away from the hostel,I wanted to kill myself.Every time my folks came to visit me on weekends,I beged them to remove me from this school.I would rather stay illiterate then go through all this pain of which i had no idea what to do.My folks would be like,"Just ignore her and study well.Do it for us...pray to God." Yeah right ! Me kneeling on my knees and crying 24/7 was gonna do any goo for me.

One day it happened.That girl created a huge roar and I had had it for months now.She called me a bitch.And warned if anyone ever spoke to me,she would let go of her wrath on them.That was it, she finished her sentence and I whipped a "Bitch" to her face.I was shaking,shivering and wanted to cry coz for the first time I stood for myself in life.I gave her the stare,the stare that I have been and am still famous for.

She didnt say a word nor did I and we left it at that.I felt good,reborn and i made a promise to myself that I would allow anyone to nag or bully me like this ever again and no matter what,I would give hell for hell if I had to but not bend for someone.Weeks went by and slowly she came around and so did I.

That was one of the first lessons I ever learnt after entering teenhood.And a lesson I will never forget.My folks noticed a change in me and after that I wouldnt be anyone's bitch no more.

This story may inspire someone or to some it maybe a joke.I know of people who have been bullied in far more cruel ways and also of those who in the end committed suicide.A very crucial lesson to be learnt in life is," zulm sehne wala zulma karne wale se bada gunaahgaar hota hai".Dont let go of your self respect to be in the good books of someone and never ever back off in the presence of a bully.

5 comments:

  1. yes, one must take care of his/her self respect...what you did was the need of the hour...

    and always try to be Strong hearted not Stone hearted, plz....:))

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  2. guess u r right...sehna is more bad.

    i have begun to understand what hostel life must have done to you & many others like you back then. "hostelites" seem to face life sooner than we "coming from home" types.

    hmm..u slapping her..kabhi kabhi sirf thappad kaam kartha hai.i really wish i'd d guts to do dat to some of my own demons

    ReplyDelete
  3. I didnt slap her.I actually said "Bitch" in the most loud,hatred filled way I could.I have gotten better over the years but that was the first time I stood for myself in front of an unknown.Otherwise,it was just my parents I unveiled my gussa.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Seems to be my story, never touched detergent and a common loo,

    Weakest LINK :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Trying to figure out who it would be ;-). lol. At some point in time, we all overcome some of our fears and it becomes a turning point. Good reading.

    ReplyDelete

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